Failure
by Gemmika
Summary: What would have happened if Edward had lost control on Bella's first day of school? How would the Cullen's have adjusted to this new addition to their life? When Edward fails to keep his self control he begins a journey of self-discovery and love.
1. Prologue: Lapse

**Failure**

**Prologue: Lapse**

I cursed under my breath as I stormed my way to the Volvo where my family was waiting for me. I had never had a worse day at school and it didn't look like it was going to get any better.

It had been absolute hell on earth sitting next to that girl in Biology class. Who did she think she was coming into my life and driving me half out of my mind with desire for her blood? How dare she try to ruin what my family had made for ourselves here, it just wasn't fair! Didn't we deserve at least a little peace?

I cursed again; frustrated that she could demolish all of my carefully crafted walls in just a few moments. She was a danger to our way of life and a danger to herself, though she might not have realized it yet. Damn her.

"Edward," Alice, my sister, called out to me when she saw me coming towards them. There was a look of panic, worry and fear etched into her face as she looked at me. I knew instantly that she had had a vision involving me and it terrified her. I tried to block her out and give her privacy most of the time, but when one of her visions involved me I couldn't help but peek into her mind.

I saw myself covered in blood, a look of horror on my face as I looked down at my prey, Bella Swan.

For a moment I wondered if she was asking me about what had happened in Biology class, showing me a vision of what my future would have been if I had given into my baser instincts. Then I realized she wasn't showing me a past memory, it was a vision she was having now. A vision of what my future was going to be.

But wait, that couldn't be right! I had been in her presence twice today and I had walked away both times, controlling the urge to sink my teeth into the lovely pink flesh of her neck, to taste the blood that had been distracting me all day… I gritted my teeth and forced myself not to think of it. I would drive myself crazy if I thought of her again. I had never been so attracted to the scent of blood before hers. I could even smell it now, the heady floral aroma.

I shook my head to clear it of the scent but it wouldn't go away. I looked up and saw Bella walking toward me from across the parking lot, a determined look on her face. I stood shock still, unable to believe that my prey was coming to me willingly, practically offering herself up on a platter. Suddenly I understood Alice's bloody vision and I knew that it was going to come true. I craved her blood like I had never craved anything before. I was too far gone to think of the repercussions. All I knew was that the closer she got to me, the more delicious her blood smelled. I had to get her on her own and soon, I wasn't going to last much longer with her scent surrounding me.

"Edward, it's time to go home, Esme will be upset if we are late!" Alice called, trying to hide the note of desperation that was filling her voice. I ignored her; she already knew what was going to happen. _"She is Chief Swan's only child!" _She screamed in her mind, begging me not to do this.

I turned toward her and tossed the car keys to Rosalie, who caught them easily and gave me a disapproving glare. Even though she didn't agree with my choice I knew she wouldn't interrupt either. "I'll walk home," I called to them, "I need to take care of something first."

Alice's voice was loud and clear in my mind, _"What will Carlisle think?"_

I hesitated for a moment as Carlisle's disappointed face drifted through my minds eye. I would have turned around then, I really would have, but the wind blew Bella's scent toward me, effectively blocking out any other rational thought in my mind.

I turned from Alice, back to Bella and saw that she was only a few feet away from me, her eyes still filled with determination to say whatever it was that she thought needed to be said.

"What in the hell is wrong with you?" she asked, standing only two feet away from me. She was braver than she looked. I bit back a laugh at her bravado, not many people would come face to face with a vampire and ask them what their problem was. Unfortunately for her it wasn't going to save her life.

"It's Bella, right?" I asked and she nodded. "I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me." I gestured toward the forest and I saw her hesitate for a moment before looking into my eyes. What she saw there must not have worried her because she strode into the forest without another word from me.

I hid my surprise with a delighted smile. I had never caught my prey with such ease before, it was a nice change.

I followed after her, forcing myself to relax for just a moment. I was going to taste her blood soon; I could force some cordiality before that, couldn't I? It turned out that I couldn't.

The moment we were far enough into the forest that I knew none of the students couldn't see or hear us, I felt the desire for her blood overtake me, just as it had in the classroom earlier. I grabbed her arm and barely heard her gasp in protest before I picked her up, slung her on my back and took off deeper into the forest. I didn't want anyone to accidentally come across us, there didn't need to be more bloodshed today.

The biggest problem was that with her so close to me I couldn't wait any longer to taste her blood. I stopped with one swift, fluid movement and Bella fell to the ground behind me with a loud thump. I turned toward her quickly, my mouth already filling with venom at the scent of her blood. It was such a thick, mouthwatering scent I couldn't stop myself from inhaling it again and then cursing the fiery ache that raced down my throat like a match to gasoline.

I snarled at the pain of the fire on my parched throat. It had really been too long since I had hunted last, perhaps I wouldn't be in this predicament if I had recently fed but part of me doubted that. Even if I had hunted earlier in the day I would be here, the call of her blood was too strong for me to resist.

I heard a shuffling noise to my right and I snapped toward the sound. Bella wasn't fleeing as I had thought; she was merely standing up and brushing the dirt of her clothes. The look she gave me wasn't what I had expected. She wasn't afraid of me; she was only surprised at the events that had taken place in the past few moments. Any normal human being should have been terrified, but this girl obviously had no sense of self-preservation at all… strange.

A small gust of wind made its way through the forest, blowing her hair around her face and making my throat flare again. I crouched down, unable to wait any longer. "I'm sorry about this," I managed before I launched myself at her, knocking her to the ground.

I only half heard her soft moan of protest when I bit into the soft flesh of her neck. The blood tasted sweeter than I had ever imagined, it was pure ambrosia. I drunk deep, lapping at the wound I had made. No blood had ever compared to this, it was the sweetest most perfect taste.

I pulled back for a moment, wiping the blood from my lips. The moment I did I realized that I was living Alice's vision. I was covered in blood and staring down at Bella Swan. In that instant I snapped out of whatever hold her blood had for me.

My scream of horror and anguish rang through the stillness of the forest.

***

"Carlisle!"

I had left Bella in the woods and rushed to the hospital, hoping to find my father. He would know what to do; he would know if my mistake could be fixed. I was standing in the middle of the Emergency room and I knew I must have looked half crazed but I couldn't calm down, I had put all of us in danger and I needed Carlisle to help me fix it.

He left the patient he had been attending and walked toward me. He knew that I never would have interrupted him at work unless it was an emergency. _"Edward, what have you done?"_ his voiced echoed in my head as he noticed my red rimmed irises.

"I need you to come with me, I need to see if she can be saved," I whispered as quietly as I could. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't keep the anguish out of my voice. I had never felt so guilty before in my life.

Carlisle didn't hesitate, he turned to the nearest doctor and said urgently, "I need to get home; there has been a family emergency."

The doctor gave me a startled look, "It must be something pretty bad, and I'll talk to the Administrator for you."

"Thank you," Carlisle said graciously, "Come on, Edward."

"_Run or drive?"_ he asked me silently.

"Run," I muttered under my breath.

There was silence between us as we walked out of the hospital and made our way slowly into the woods. The moment we were out of view we took off into the forest, running as fast as we possibly could. _"What happened?" _Carlisle asked me.

"Her blood… I have never smelled anything like it before. I couldn't stop myself, I am so sorry, Carlisle," my voice was laced with regret and pain. "I can't let her die."

He said nothing, but I could tell he was pushing himself harder, hoping to reach Bella in enough time to make a difference. _"How much of her blood did you drink?"_

"Not much, when I realized what was happening I left her and came to find you."

It didn't take us long to find her, less than thirty seconds from when we entered the woods we reached her side. I watched as Carlisle knelt at her side and bent over her to take her pulse. _"Her heart is still beating, she has already started the change. We need to get her to the house so I can keep her stable."_

I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I had been holding. I felt relief tinged with incredible guilt. I knew Carlisle hadn't ever wanted to change anyone again and because of my mistake we were going to have another addition to the family. Carlisle picked her up in his arms and she cried out in pain.

Remorse lanced through me at the pain in her voice. "I will take responsibility for her," I told him as we started running toward home.

I think that surprised him; he looked over at me, trying to hide the shock he felt. _"Are you sure? I know Alice would help her without us even asking her to."_

"It's my fault she is going to be one of us, I need to do this," I told him with determination.

"_I think we need to head back to Alaska for a while, Forks isn't safe for us anymore. We need to head home, the family needs to know what has happened."_

I looked at the girl in his arms who was whimpering in pain with every step Carlisle took. If I lived for a thousand years I don't think it would be possible to forget the look on her face and the guilt I felt at that moment. I promised myself in that moment that I would do whatever it took to take care of Bella and ease her into our way of life. Somehow I would fix this, even if it took the rest of my existence to do.


	2. Chapter One: Guilt

**Chapter One: Guilt**

In the end, Carlisle decided that the least conspicuous thing to do was for Alice, Jasper and I to head to Alaska and for the rest of the family to stay until after graduation. After a few minutes of discussion, Esme reminded him that it would look suspicious if the entire family left town at the same time Bella Swan seemed to have disappeared. She told us that she would inform the school that the three of us missed home and decided to go back to Alaska and stay with some friends for the remainder of the school year.

"I'm not sure what I should tell my colleagues the family emergency was," Carlisle mused thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

"Well, what if we say a friend of ours in Alaska was in an accident and died, that could provide a good reason for why we are heading back there for the rest of the year," Alice suggested. "We are going back to comfort and help our friends out."

"That would give us a plausible cover story," Carlisle agreed.

"It's pathetic that we need one," Rosalie said disdainfully, "If Edward hadn't screwed up we wouldn't need to do this."

"That's not fair, Rosalie, other people in this family have made mistakes that have caused us to do this same thing before. You can't blame him for losing control this once," Esme reprimanded her gently.

"Hell, I was beginning to feel weak compared to you," Emmett said and punched me in the shoulder, "Thanks for showing the family I'm not the only weak link."

While everyone was talking and trying to figure out a way to repair my mistakes I ignored them and stayed quiet, my eyes fixed on the small girl on our sofa. She hadn't opened her eyes since we brought her home. Even though Carlisle assured me that she was indeed going through the change, I worried that she wasn't going to make it through. She seemed so incredibly small and fragile to me, even for a human. Every whimper or scream of pain she made was ingrained in my memory forever.

I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to touch her hand, trying to give her some comfort, but every time I tried she would shudder and pull away.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up into Alice's face. _"I'm sorry I didn't try harder to stop you." _

I flinched away from the guilt in her voice. She shouldn't be shouldering the burden for what I had done, but that was the way Alice had always been. She had always taken some of the blame for things that had gone wrong; she had felt obligated to do everything in her power to make sure her visions didn't come true. She couldn't have made me feel worse if she had yelled at me.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, the pull was just too strong," I muttered and she squeezed my shoulder.

"_I would have gone after you and left the others to drive home, but I had another vision of the girl joining our family…"_ her words trailed off but I saw her vision replayed in her mind. Alice had been weak as well, she had seen Bella becoming one of us and seen that them becoming close friends. In her moment of weakness she had let me carry out the vision so she could gain happiness with a new friend. _"It was selfish of me."_

"No more selfish than me letting my bloodlust take her life away," I disagreed.

"_I saw something else too," _she paused nervously, as though she knew I wasn't going to like where this lead.

"I don't think I want to know," I said firmly and Alice nodded, letting her mind drift away to another topic.

"We will take care of her, she won't want for anything we can give her," Alice said quietly as she looked down at Bella. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it was woefully inadequate.

"_She is going to be okay," _Alice reminded me, _"I've seen her."_

I tried to let myself be reassured, but I had never done something like this before. I wondered if this was how Carlisle felt every time he had changed one of us. Was she screaming more or less than normal? Was her body in so much pain that she couldn't think of the strange people surrounding her, just the agony she was in? I felt lost, confused and worried. I hadn't run for Carlisle's help just to let her die now.

"What vehicle should we take?" Jasper asked Carlisle. At the mention of travel I tuned myself back into the conversation; this was something I was curious about as well.

"We can take the Volvo if we lay the back seats down and set up a makeshift bed for Bella," Alice suggested. "That way one of us can sit with her at all times."

"We should get her out of town as soon as possible, you will want to have her somewhere stable during the last few hours of her change," Carlisle mused and then he turned to me, "Edward, I'll need some help getting the equipment set up in the Volvo."

I looked at Bella again, her dark hair fanning around a pale white face contorted in pain. If only I could hear her thoughts, then I would know if everything was working right! I turned a pained look on Alice and she knew instinctively what I wanted. "I'll wait with her while you help Carlisle," she said, touching my hand reassuringly. I took one last look at Bella and then followed Carlisle to the garage.

"I know that it doesn't make much sense to make her comfortable when all she can feel is the pain, but as a doctor I can't just let her suffer and do nothing to help her," Carlisle muttered as we folded the seats down in the back of the Volvo to make room for Bella's bedding and medical supplies.

While we compiled a list of things we would need from Carlisle's medical kit, Esme brought us a large quilt and some feather pillows from the linen closet. She insisted on making up a bed for her while we gathered the equipment we needed.

"_Things will work out, Edward,"_ Esme told me silently, _"I'm not sure how, but they will."_

"_While you are in the car with her, make sure you talk to her and explain what is happening to her. It's a terrifying enough experience without someone to comfort you," _Carlisle thought almost reminiscently.

I thought about that while I watched Esme fluff the pillows and rearrange the quilt. I knew that Bella was going to be confused when she first felt the burn in her throat and the strength of her limbs, but I didn't know what to say to make it easier or believable.

"What should I say?"

For all I knew she would awaken to this life and attack me for what I did to her. What could I possibly say that would ease her into our way of life and our family?

Carlisle thought about that for a moment, his mind flitting from one idea to the next, rejecting them all for one reason or another. Finally he sighed as he closed the door of the Volvo. _"Just let Alice handle it, she will know what to do."_

I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. I didn't want Alice shouldering all the responsibility of taking care of Bella. I had done this; it was my burden to bear! How could I stand by and watch as my family fixed all of my mistakes? I needed to do something to help; I didn't want to be a dead weight, watching helplessly from the sidelines.

Carlisle must have sensed my frustration because he put his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes. "Edward, everyone makes mistakes. The wonderful thing about families is the people involved care about each other enough to help fix mistakes. You don't have to do everything alone."

***

I thought about Carlisle's words as Jasper, Alice and I climbed into the Volvo and set off for Denali. Esme had called the Denali coven and explained the situation, so I knew that Carmen would set up rooms for us in their home. I was looking forward to seeing our friends, even under these unfortunate circumstances, but I still wished that it didn't have to happen.

Alice had situated herself next to Bella, holding her hand and smoothing her hair out of her face with a gentle hand. As I watched them I saw Bella's back bow, she screamed in agony, her arms flailing wildly as she lashed out at something only she could see. A moan of guilt strangled me as I made a move toward her, reaching out to comfort her. Alice gave me a pitying look and turned her attention back to Bella, attempting to soothe and calm her as much as possible. I slunk back to where I had been sitting, my eyes locked on the screaming girl.

"_I wish I had your self-control."_

I snorted and turned towards Jasper, who had spoken to me through his thoughts so as not to let Alice hear our discussion.

"Right," I muttered sarcastically under my breath, "I'm the king of self-control. We are just making a normal trip up to Alaska because we feel like it."

"_I'm serious, Edward. I smelled her blood from across the parking lot and it was indeed appetizing. If I started to feed from anyone I wouldn't be able to stop. You stopped… what I want to know is how you did it and why."_

"You should know why I stopped; I didn't want to harm her in the first place. The problem was that her blood called to me in a way I've never experienced before. I don't think I could have stopped myself from luring her into those woods even if you and Emmett had tackled me. I was too far gone to think about anything else."

The scene from the parking lot played in my head again, as clear now as it had been an hour ago when it had happened. I knew that it was wrong to kill her; I knew that it would cause my family problems, but I couldn't stop myself. There was something so alluring about her that I had to have her, no matter what the cost.

"_If she was so tempting, how did you stop once you bit her and tasted her blood?"_

I knew that Jasper wasn't spiteful and angry, like Rosalie. He was genuinely curious; he wanted to know how I had stopped. The problem was that I really didn't know how I had stopped. It was like something in me had broken when I saw the blood on her skin. In that instant I knew that I had broken more than the treaty we had with the Quileute's in La Push, I had stolen the life of a human being. It was something I had promised myself I would never do again. I didn't know if Jasper would understand that, but I would try to explain it.

"Alice had seen a vision of me covered in her blood and I knew it was going to come true, the problem is that when it did… I couldn't handle it. In the moment that I saw the blood on her skin my mind snapped. I had promised myself years ago that I would never take another human life; I had put my rebellious years behind me. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had taken another person's life. It's not my place to decide who should live and die. I was so horrified with what I was doing that it snapped me out of the pull the bloodlust had on me. When I was able to pull myself away from her, I ran as fast as I could to find Carlisle. I knew that I had to do everything in my power to save her, even if it meant spending the rest of my existence easing her into our world."

Jasper was quiet after that, his mind carefully examining each point I had mentioned and comparing it to his own moral code. I was thankful for the reprieve; it left me free to watch over Bella again.

During my few minutes with Jasper, Alice had begun talking to Bella, explaining the new life she was going to be living. It was difficult for me to listen to Alice talk about life as one of us, to know that every word she said was true. I myself was over a hundred years old and still as young as I had looked on the day Carlisle had changed me. It was a lot to take in for anyone. Even I was still facing each new day and wondering if I was caught in a never ending nightmare. I just hoped I could make it different for her.

"…I know it's painful now, but the pain won't last forever. When it's all over you will be surprised at how many things you can do that you couldn't before. You'll be able to run fast and never get tired, you will have time to learn anything you ever wanted to know and you will have people around who want to help you succeed. You have a family waiting to welcome you with open arms if you want us…"

More than ever I wished I knew what she was thinking. I wanted to know if she could hear Alice at all or if the pain was over powering her ability to think at all. Would she be willing to join our family? Or would she hate me so much for what I did to her that she would become another nomad?

These questions and more ran through my mind as we drove to Denali. The trip which would take a human driver over fifty hours only took us thirty, though it was a long thirty hours with Bella's shrieks of agony as our constant companion. Somewhere between Terrace and Stewart in British Columbia, Bella's temperature rose as her heart began pumping double speed. Alice dug through the medical supplies we brought with us and found an Insta-Cold ice pack. Bella's screams increased when the iciness of the pack touched her head but after a few minutes Alice told me that the fever was reducing to more normal rates.

Jasper couldn't drive fast enough for me, I wanted to arrive in Denali and get Bella into a real bed for the end of her transformation. Carlisle had stressed the importance of the last few hours; so many things could go wrong. He promised me that I could call him the minute her heart rate changed, (becoming a hum instead of beats) and he would talk me through any problems that might occur. I knew that intellectually I could handle any surprise that might come my way; but emotionally, I wasn't so sure. I had done everything possible to save this girl; if she died, it would be entirely my fault.

I didn't know if I could live with myself if that happened.

We arrived in Denali just before midnight the day after we left Forks. Jasper parked the car on the sweeping lawn of our friend's home and rushed to the door to let them know we were bringing Bella inside.

Eleazar arrived outside in time to watch Alice scoop a whimpering girl into her arms. He helped her maneuver her way into the house, so as not to jostle Bella too much and he turned to me with a knowing sadness in his eyes. _"I'm glad you came to us for help." _His thoughts were gentle but there were memories layering it and I cringed from them. Eleazar had seen more in his life than I ever wished to see.

"Thank you for hosting us during this difficult time, we needed to be away from searching eyes to help her," I said as we clasped hands. He put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it in a familiar way.

"You know we would do anything for such good friends," he said in a tone that made me feel guilty for thanking them. It was true they were like family to us, but it was hard enough for me to lay my problems at Carlisle and Esme's feet, bringing them to our Denali "cousins" felt even worse.

Carmen poked her head outside and motioned to me and Eleazar. "Come on upstairs, we have a room set up for your new friend to use while she recovers."

It felt odd to have Bella's circumstances described that way, but I knew that Carmen was just trying to make me feel more comfortable with the situation and I appreciated that. "Thank you for letting us stay with you," I told her as she pulled me into a motherly hug.

"The Cullen's are always welcome to stay with us, no matter what the situation is," Carmen chided me and hustled me up the stairs. "Alice says that the girl is going to be a great beauty and I agree; from what little I saw of her she is going to rival my Tanya in looks."

"Well, I don't know if I would say that," came a familiar, sultry voice from an open door to our right. I turned and saw a head of strawberry blonde hair as Tanya walked out into the hallway to greet us.

"Ah, Tanya," I said politely, "It's nice to see you again."

A glint of anger flashed in her eyes as she looked across the hall and watched Alice settling Bella into bed. "I've been wondering when you would come back to see us. I've missed you," she said and her lower lip pouted in a way I'm sure any other male would have found highly attractive. It always annoyed me. Before I could give her a brotherly hug she leaned forward and pressed a welcoming kiss to my lips. I smiled ruefully, knowing that this would be a problem I would have to face while staying here.

"_Have you changed your mind about my offer?" _Tanya thought the question as opposed to speaking it. I knew it was because she didn't want anyone else to overhear.

I hesitated, looking into the room where Alice was attempting to comfort Bella. Then I shook my head, unable to look at the hurt on her face from my rejection. "Now isn't a good time for this," I muttered.

"_I see. I suppose I'm just going to have to watch you deal with your new friend," _she thought bitterly.

I turned back toward her, anger and hurt clawing their way out of me and into my next words. "That isn't it and you know it. I did this to her and now I need to help her," I spat forcefully at her.

A wounded look passed through her eyes and I knew my words had hit their mark. I reached out a hand towards her to ease the pain I had caused, but I saw it was no use. She quickly turned back into her room and shut the door with force that rattled the door frame. I closed my eyes and sighed, I would have to make it up to her in some way, but I didn't know how. She wanted something I couldn't give her, and it was hurting both of us more and more each time we saw each other.

"_She will calm down, it is in her nature to be very passionate," _Carmen reminded me. _"Now go and sit with your friend, she will be in need of a friend and mentor soon enough."_

With that she took Eleazar by the hand, and they made their way back downstairs, leaving me to go inside Bella's room and face the next two days agonizing at her side.


	3. Chapter Two: Awakenings

**Chapter Two: Awakenings**

It had been hours now, hours where nothing had existed but the painful screeches and the thrashing agony of Bella Swan. I knew that if these hours had been hell for me, they were a hundred times, no, a thousand times worse for the girl whose life I had stolen.

"How much longer will she be incapacitated?" I demanded of Alice. I hated being cloistered in a far off corner of the room, watching as my sister took over my responsibilities for me. It was so painful that I could barely force myself to stay.

Alice didn't even look up at me, she just kept smoothing Bella's hair away from her face and stroking her hand with gentle movements. _"Stop shouting, it's making her more agitated and she doesn't need that,"_she thought, her sharp words cutting into my brain.

"Sorry," I said, sighing wearily. It wasn't just Alice I was apologizing to, it was Bella as well. Not that I thought she would be willing to accept that apology.

One of Alice's visions flashed through her mind, meaning it flashed through mine as well. I saw Bella's breathing quicken, her body spasming with one last jolt of pain as the venom entered her heart. Then it ended, the transformation complete. Just thirty more seconds. I had to survive watching this for thirty more seconds, and it would finally be over.

The vision continued, but Alice suddenly focused hard on the actual Bella in front of us. Her vision dissipated.

"What is it? What don't you want to show me?" I asked, stepping toward the bed where Bella was still caught in the throes of pain.

Alice refused to look at me, her eyes focused on the girl in front of her._ "I know you want to be able to take care of her, but I don't think she's going to let you..."_

I saw the future unfolding in her mind and I cringed away from it. It was a bleak vision, the kind that I had always tried to avoid. I saw Bella in all of her immortal beauty refusing my overtures of friendship... of love.

Which was crazy. I didn't love her. I barely even knew her. I knew that what I had done made her my responsibility, but that didn't automatically mean I was going to love her. "That isn't... I don't..." I began, but Alice shook her head.

_"Edward, you know as well as I do that we don't really know our own futures. This is what I tried to tell you before. You belong with her; I just don't know how it happens. She won't be easy to sway, she's really afraid of you right now,"_ she thought, her face falling into a miserable frown._ "I really want her to be my sister."_

I didn't know how to respond. The fact that Alice believed that Bella was my destiny, well, it was ridiculous. I had made a mistake and changed a human, something my family had promised never to do again. That didn't mean that she would be my mate... did it?

I was pulled from these thoughts by the sudden absence of sound. Bella's breathing was no longer labored, she no longer whimpered or squirmed and her heart no longer beat. Before I could think of the repercussions of my actions, I moved to the side of her bed, hoping that I could finally talk to her. "Bella," I whispered, reaching a hand out to her.

Her eyes snapped open, the irises a deep blood red. I knew the moment they had locked on mine, not just because I felt an electric thrill run through me, but because she back-flipped off the bed and crouched in the corner. A snarl rumbled in her chest and she bared her teeth at me. "Stay away from me," she growled, her voice ringing with malice at the sight of me.

Oddly, the first thought in my head wasn't of the fact that she was threatening me: it was how different her voice sounded now that she was a vampire. As happened with every vampire, her voice was smooth, fluid, as though every imperfection had been filed away.

I held my hands up, palms forward, to show her that I wasn't trying to attack her. I even took a step away from her to reinforce the message. "I won't hurt you, I never meant to hurt you in the first place," I said, my voice as soothing as I could make it.

"Jasper!" Alice shouted. I knew that she was trying to diffuse the situation with Jasper's gift, but I was beginning to think that it wouldn't be enough.

I took another step back, my foot hitting the door as Jasper bounded through it. "Bella, I'm so sorry," I said, "I won't ask you to forgive me today, but I want you to know how sorry I am."

"Today? You think I'm going to forgive you _ever_? Do you actually think an 'I'm sorry' is going to fix this?" she snapped, her eyes narrowing in both fear and anger. "You stole my life from me!"

_"Edward, run!"_Alice thought quickly, her tone conveying fear. The vision that unfolded in her head happened so quick that I barely had time to react.

I turned and made for the door, feeling Jasper's gift roll through the room just a half a second too late. Bella slammed into my back, her hands ripping my shirt off as she plowed me into the floor. I had the fleeting thought that this might be it for me, that she might kill me before Alice and Jasper could wrench her away from me, when her hands fell away from my body.

"What is happening to me?" Bella cried, crawling off of me. I turned to see her wrap her arms around her knees and bury her face in her dress. "What is happening to me?"

I knew then that Jasper's ability had finally reached her, cutting through the haze of anger and fear surrounding her. I felt the insane desire to comfort her, to tell her once again how sorry I was for bringing her into my world, but I knew that it would only make things worse. Instead I watched as Alice knelt beside Bella, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "It won't be this way forever. Do you remember what I told you? Do you remember anything that I said?" she asked.

Bella nodded and when she responded her voice was thick with tears that she could never shed. "You told me that these intense feelings, this inability to control my emotions wouldn't last long, maybe a year," Bella sniffled, "you told me that you would all help me find myself and that you would be my family if I wanted you to be."

"That offer still stands," Alice said, smoothing Bella's hair, which had begun to tangle with her exertion, "We are so sorry for the way you were brought into our family, but we will love you and protect you for as long as you want to stay with us."

Bella's eyes moved up to mine, realizing that I had been staying perfectly still on the floor as I watched Alice comfort her. "Does he have to be here?" she asked Alice, still staring at me.

"I really am sorry," I said, feeling as though my heart, which had lain dead in my chest for almost ninety years, was breaking. "I don't want to cause you any more pain, so I'll leave." I got to my feet quickly and sped out of the house, needing the fresh forest air almost as much as Bella needed to be away from me.

_"So, it sounds like your girlfriend doesn't want you around."_

I groaned inwardly as Tanya's thoughts reached me. Apparently she had heard the commotion up at the house and had followed me out into the woods to terrorize me. It would never occur to her that I really needed some time alone. In her mind, it was a given that I wanted her company. I had the sudden urge to run as fast as I possibly could away from her, not that it would help. Tanya was just as fast as I was, and very determined to rub my nose in the fact that Bella not only didn't want me around, she was terrified of me.

I couldn't blame Bella for being scared of me, after all, I had attacked her and stolen her life away without a thought of what that would do to her. I was scared of myself as well.

Of course, when I left the house, I hadn't thought about where I was going or the fact that Tanya would be enjoying this moment. For her it was like Christmas had come early. How could Bella be a competitor for my affections when she couldn't even look at me without wanting to attack me? I usually disliked being in Tanya's head (her thoughts bordered on erotic around me and I was never comfortable with it) and now that Bella had entered the picture she was becoming vicious. I didn't like the person I was seeing in my former friend. It wasn't exactly making her more attractive to me, but that probably wasn't something she would understand.

_"Edward, I can make you forget about all this,"_ Tanya called to me, her thoughts a seductive purr as she got closer._ "We can find a little secluded place out here and I can make you forget."_

I bit back a snarl at the thoughts in her mind. They were such vivid fantasies, so vulgar and yet hopeful, it made me wish, as I had so many times before, that I could turn this damned mind-reading thing off. I wasn't interested in Tanya, and she was making it increasingly difficult for me to be around her. She was sorely testing my ability to be a gentleman. If she kept pushing me, I would eventually lash out and hurt her.

"Tanya, go home, can't you see that he doesn't want any company?"

At the sound of Kate's familiar voice, my body relaxed. Out of all of our Denali cousins, Kate was my favorite. She had a smile that would light up a room, and a bitingly sarcastic wit that made her an entertaining companion. She was also the only sister who had never made an advance on me and that endeared her to me quite a bit. The fact that she was going up against her sister to give me some time to myself made me like her even more. It was something that only Kate would do, as no one else was willing to face Tanya's wrath.

"Why should I leave? It's not like that little girl is going to welcome him with open arms," Tanya snarled at her sister.

"How many times has Edward told you that he isn't interested in you? I doubt you being out here right now is helping your case much," Kate reminded her sweetly.

I heard a growl echo through the woods and then the distinct sound of Tanya's furious tread as she sprinted back to the house (her thoughts venomous towards her sister). I felt my heart swell with gratitude towards Kate. She had given me the peace I needed, and I was indebted to her. I wondered what sort of gift I could give her without Tanya becoming furious at the blatant favoritism. I'd have to ask Alice later; she would know exactly what to do in this situation. She was, after all, much better with females than I was. If this afternoon hadn't proved that... well, I wasn't going to dwell on that.

_"Sorry about Tanya, when I realized neither of you were in the house I figured you needed some rescuing."_

"Thank you," I said graciously.

Kate's figure came into view then as she passed through the trees into the small clearing that was a favorite "thinking place" of mine. Her pale blonde hair shone in a halo around her head as she looked up and saw me perched on top of a small pile of boulders. _"You don't have to hide anymore, Tanya went back to the house and the others took the girl on her first hunt."_

I just nodded, not knowing what to say. Kate quickly made her way to my side. Though the boulders were covered with snow, they gave her no more pause than they would have in a warmer climate. She scaled the precariously perched rocks with nimble feet and landed at my side with perfect grace. She didn't try to offer me comfort and I was grateful for that, as comfort was the very last thing that I needed now. Instead she proceeded in a very Kate-like manner, being as obnoxious as a young cousin while still retaining all the charm of a lovely young woman. _"Why did you run from the house?"_

"Bella didn't want me around her," I said, shrugging my shoulders as if this didn't matter.

_"Since when have you run away instead of fighting for what you want?"_

I was startled by that thought, turning to Kate with wide eyes. "Who says that I want Bella?"

"Well, you don't want her to be afraid of you, that much is obvious," Kate said aloud, "whether you want more from her is something I doubt even you know yet."

I paused for a moment, trying to get my thoughts together before I said something stupid. "Do you really believe she will settle into this life?"

"Didn't we all, at least to some extent?" Kate asked lightly. She squeezed my shoulder and then bounded off into the forest, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

It was quite a bit later in the afternoon when I arrived back at the house. It had taken me much longer to gather the courage to face Bella and the situation she posed than I had thought it would. Like the coward I was, I had waited until I knew she was back from her hunting trip. Perhaps taking the edge off her thirst would help with taking the edge off her anger at me. I wasn't really hopeful, but it was the only plan I had. Not that I really had any idea what I was going to do with her yet, but I knew that I couldn't hide from her any longer. I wasn't exactly helping things by not explaining why I had taken her life away from her... not that I really knew why myself. I still didn't quite understand why she had affected me so strongly, but she deserved some kind of answer and I intended to give it to her.

When I entered the house I could hear Alice murmuring soothing words in the nearby sitting room. I braced myself as I reached for the doorknob, unsure of the greeting I was about to receive. I took a deep breath and opened the door, stepping inside of the room and coming face to face with the girl I had been avoiding all day.

The sitting room looked as I had remembered it from previous visits. It was filled with comfortable looking chairs, most of them in various shades of cream or light blue. There was also a large coffee table with an antique tea set in the middle of the room. I looked at all of this before looking at Bella. It was difficult to pull my eyes to her, knowing how she felt about me, but I knew that I had to face my fears and do the right thing. She had to understand how sorry I was, how willing I was to do the right thing by her, no matter what she felt that was. If it meant surrendering my life to her... I felt I deserved it.

"Bella..." I began, stepping toward her with an outstretched hand.

I shouldn't have been surprised when she cringed into the chair she was sitting in, but the fact that her satiated bloodlust didn't soften her opinion of me was a bit disappointing. Alice and Jasper stood at either side of her chair, prepared to stop her from doing anything she would regret, and they both looked at me with weariness (and in Alice's case, sadness) in their eyes. I could feel Jasper's gift working through the room, but even so Bella still seemed a bit jumpy. "Just, stay back, okay? I can't really control myself right now and I don't want to hurt you," she said nervously, her eyes falling to the floor.

Wait, what? That wasn't the response I had been expecting. She was worried about hurting me? "You don't?" I asked, my eyes widening in surprise.

Bella looked up at Alice, who stood at her side like a sentry. Alice nodded at her encouragingly and I caught a glimpse of smugness in her thoughts before she shut me out again. "After my first hunt, Alice and I had a long talk and well... I can't forgive you what you did to me, but I can understand why it happened. The moment I smelled that kodiak..." she trailed off, lost in a memory.

I knew what she meant, it was often difficult to keep yourself away from your prey. For Bella, on her first hunt, it wouldn't have surprised me if she had torn the bear apart to get to the blood she so desperately craved. I hated that she had to go through that, but if it meant that her feelings toward me had softened, I would accept that blessing with grace. "It is difficult not to just attack what you want, right?" I asked gently.

Her eyes shot to mine, grateful that I had said what she couldn't seem to say. "Exactly," she whispered, "if you felt even a fraction of what I felt... well, I'm surprised you didn't attack me in the middle of class."

I laughed a bit wryly, "The thought crossed my mind several times a second for the entire hour you sat next to me. I'm just sorry that I couldn't have walked away from you after school. You just smelled..." I trailed off after Alice glared at me.

_"She doesn't need to hear all the gory details does she?"_she asked, her eyebrows raised expectantly. She was right of course, Bella would be better off without knowing what had been in my mind that day at school.

"... It doesn't matter. The point is that I'm sorry for what happened and if you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I'd like to be friends," I said, a twinge going through me as I saw Alice's vision for me in my mind. I was going to love this girl and friendship may end up being impossible. I tossed that out of my mind for the moment though, focusing on the present.

"Friends?" Bella asked, her eyes growing wide in surprise, "You want to be my friend?"

"You are already part of our family," Alice insisted as she injected herself into our conversation, kneeling beside Bella's chair and taking one of the girls hands in her own small ones, "We want you to be happy, I've told you this already."

Bella kept her eyes on me though, as if she didn't believe what I was saying to her. "Can I think about it?" she asked, "I'm still really confused about all of this."

My heart sank, but I did understand. Hadn't I been a little upset with Carlisle at first? Of course, it hadn't been quite the same because I had been dying, and I had no family or life to turn away from, but still...

"You can have all the time you need," I assured her, my hand reaching for the doorknob, "Besides, it isn't like either of us are going anywhere."

Her face fell at my words and I realized that they could be misconstrued. "Right, we have forever, don't we?" she said sadly.

As I walked out of the room I felt even worse than I had when I walked in. Would I ever stop hurting Bella Swan? Was I doomed to fall in love with this girl and have her hate me forever? I closed the door to the sitting room and then leaned my forehead against it, closing my eyes. My earlier conversation with Kate began to replay in my mind:

_"Why did you run from the house?"_

_"Bella didn't want me around her."_

_"Since when have you run away instead of fighting for what you want?"_

_"Who says that I want Bella?"_

_"Well, you don't want her to be afraid of you, that much is obvious. Whether you want more from her is something I doubt even you know yet."_

_"You really think she will settle in to this life?"_

_"Didn't we all, at least to some extent?"_

I could only hope that Kate was right.


	4. Chapter Three: Shining

**Chapter Three: Shining**

_"It's nice to hear you play the piano again."_

I didn't stop playing at the sound of Alice's voice. She had been a comforting presence lately. She was adhering to our own private code: if she was with me, then Bella was okay to be on her own. I let out a sigh of relief; apparently today was going to be one of those rare good days. We hadn't had many of those in the past two months, so it would be a nice change.

She crossed the room to me, her steps light on the polished wood floor. She sat on the bench beside me and rested her head against my shoulder. Before Bella, before this trip to Alaska and back when our world was calm and orderly, Alice and I would sit like this for hours as she listened to me play the piano. It was comforting to know that not everything had changed with my horrendous lack of judgement.

_"The sun will actually be out today for at least a few hours,"_ Alice thought dreamily as I played Esme's song.

"That's nice. Finally a break from the snow, it seems," I said with a hint of a smile on my lips. "I had begun to think that Denali was going to set a new weather record."

Alice bumped my shoulder lightly and her musical laugh rang throughout the room._ "I was thinking it might be nice to give Bella a reason to admire herself instead of fear herself for once,"_ she thought, and she showed me a vision that she had caught earlier. It was one of Bella in the large front yard, basking in the beauty of her vampire skin. The scene made my skin crawl. I hated the sight of my glimmering granite skin; it reminded me of how different we were from humans. It reminded me that I was a killer. However, the fact that Bella would be enjoying at least one thing to come out of this mess made me push away my revulsion.

"If it will make her happy, you should take her out this afternoon when the sun comes out," I said, trying to be gracious despite my personal feelings.

_"I think you should be there. It might help the tension between you,"_ Alice suggested lightly, as she leaned forward to add a much simpler melody to the piece I was playing.

My fingers stalled above the keys at the thought of being close enough to touch Bella. It had been a frustrating two months watching her get used to the nuances of vampire life. She was still terrified of me, though she tried to hide it. Unfortunately for her, newborns couldn't contain their emotions, so I felt the brunt of her fear and resentment. Knowing how she felt, I had tried my hardest to stay away from her even as I felt myself being drawn to her beauty, both inner and outer. She was graceful, beautiful, charming, everything good that a person could be. She was everything I wanted in my life; the opposite of everything I felt I was. Alice could be right: perhaps my being the one to show Bella something good about this life would help her let go of whatever she was still harboring towards me. I just couldn't let her see how much I wanted to be around her. It probably wouldn't help matters much.

"Will she attack me if I go outside and bring up an excursion?" I asked lightly, trying to hide from Alice how much I wanted to be around Bella.

Alice gave me a smug smile, and I knew that I had failed in my attempt to hide my growing interest in the girl._ "Kate and Eleazar are with her. She is practicing working with her shield,"_ she informed me.

One interesting result of bringing Bella to our Denali covens was the fact that Eleazar had pinpointed her as having a very strong talent the moment he saw her after she awoke from her transition. He told me later that he hadn't been sure during her transformation because the pain blocked out everything else, but when he had come face to face with Bella in all her immortal glory, it had practically slapped him in the face.

"Edward, she is the strongest shield I've ever encountered. She is very special," Eleazar had told me in wonder the moment he realized it. Bella, of course, had had many questions about vampire abilities in general. That conversation had led Kate to suggest seeing what Bella was capable of. Since that day, Bella and Kate had spent a good portion of their time together trying to figure out the limits of Bella's shield. As far as I knew, they had discovered that she was immune to both my talents and Kate's. With no other vampires around we couldn't test the extent of her immunity, but it seemed that her mind was hell bent on her protection.

"She and Kate have grown close, haven't they?" I asked, feeling a smile work its way onto my lips. I so rarely smiled these days that it felt foreign, but nice.

"Kate adores her," Alice said aloud with a happy smile, "I'm working on forming a bond with her as well, but she is a very complicated girl."

I let out a sound that was half-sigh and half-laugh. "Tell me about it. One minute I think we can put everything behind us and be friends, the next minute she is looking at me like she wants to tear my head off."

Alice laughed, "Kind of like your feelings for her?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, worried that my new found desires were as obvious as a neon sign above my head.

"Edward," Alice sighed, placing a hand on my shoulder, "I've seen your future remember? I know exactly how you feel about her." Her thoughts rushed through images of me trying desperately to court Bella and being rejected over and over.

"Is there still no hope at all?" I asked desperately. Two months ago I would never have believed that I would begin to care for this complicated, beautiful girl, but now... every day she did something that left me in awe. The way she moved, the way she talked, her thoughts on the most simple matters were entirely unique to Bella. It made me wonder if my lapse in control had really been a mistake. She was exactly the kind of female I had spent my life searching for without even realizing it. The truth was that this girl had become essential to me, in ways I had yet to discover. I just knew that my future didn't exist without her. It wasn't love, not yet, but it was moving quickly in that direction. "Will time ever change the way she feels?"

Alice looked me right in the eyes. "Don't let her push you out anymore. That is what is killing your future with her. Edward, you need to start fighting for her."

"I don't love her," I said again, and while it was true, according to Alice there would soon come a day when I would love her. If Alice's visions were correct, Bella would break my heart and leave me alone and miserable. Knowing how I already felt, I couldn't let that happen. If there was even the slightest chance that the two of us could find happiness and peace in each other, I had to pursue it.

"Keep telling yourself that," Alice said, "but we both know it isn't entirely true. Now, are you going to take her out today or not?"

I didn't hesitate this time, I just slid sideways off the piano bench and walked toward the door. If Alice thought that pursuing her without hesitation would change the future, I wouldn't bet against her. "Don't expect us back for awhile," I tossed back to my sister as I reached the door, "I think an afternoon together will do us both good."

Alice hesitated a moment and I could tell that her thoughts were a jumble of conflicting emotions. "Good luck," she finally said aloud. What she didn't say, but what I knew anyway were the words that followed: _"you're going to need it."_

***

When I stepped outside I saw that Alice had been correct: the clouds were beginning to thin and I knew the sun would be peeking through in an hour or so. Not that I had doubted her. She was incredibly reliable when it came to the weather. It wasn't as though the atmosphere was going to change its mind on whether or not it would rain. Not like people whose decisions changed from one moment to the next. Alice had been wrong on occasion, but never about the weather.

As I made my way toward the outdoor patio entrance to Kate's room, I heard the two girls talking and paused when I heard my name. Normally I don't care to eavesdrop, especially since I don't normally need to. In this case, the fact that I might overhear some of Bella's thoughts made it a conversation that I had to hear.

"Edward seems to be very protective of you, doesn't he?" I heard Kate ask. Her thoughts were sly, hoping that she might be able to pry some personal information from her new friend. My ears perked up a bit; this was a very interesting conversation that I was picking up on.

I could sense Bella's hesitation, even from a hundred feet away. I stopped breathing, hoping the girls wouldn't sense my presence as I listened in.

"I don't know why. It seems kind of strange, doesn't it? After all, he did this to me. He should be thrilled with himself," Bella responded coolly. For probably the millionth time, I wished I knew what she was thinking. Was she being honest with Kate, or was she (as I felt deep down) forcing herself to repeat these words so that she could hold onto a grudge that was slipping away from her? I didn't know and it killed me.

I heard Kate let out an exasperated sigh and had to strangle a laugh at her thoughts. Obviously Kate was very much on my side. This hadn't been the first conversation she had tried to have with Bella about me, and she was coming to her wits end. "Dammit, Bella, you really don't get it, do you?" Kate snapped at her.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," Bella said, sounding a little surprised by Kate's outburst.

"Bella, you have never had the experience of smelling human blood. You have no idea how hard it is to resist when you're around it," Kate said seriously, "if you think that our bears smell tempting, you can't even imagine how much stronger and more desirable a human smells."

Bella was quiet for several moments, obviously thinking about that. "Why did he pick me out? Why was it me and not some other student?"

"You'll have to ask him that," Kate said, "but there is something else you need to think about. When Edward stopped, he knew that you would become one of us. He was able to stop, able to keep from killing you. He may have changed you into one of us, but you still have so many possibilities in front of you. You can learn so many things, travel anywhere you want to go. You can even fall in love if you find someone you want to be with. Look at Carmen and Eleazar, Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper. Just because my sisters and I haven't found the right guy doesn't mean there isn't one for you."

"Are you suggesting someone in particular?" Bella asked, her voice sounding both interested and defensive at the same time. I took heart in the fact that she wasn't dismissing me completely out of hand.

Kate sighed again. "Just... just give him a chance all right? He feels awful about what he did to you and he's trying in every way he knows how to make things better. Just remember that he could have snuffed out your life completely and he stopped himself, he gave you another chance at life... just a different kind than you had before."

That was my cue. I walked around the house, making as much noise as I could so that they wouldn't think I had been eavesdropping. Of course, one look into Kate's eyes told me that she had known I had been listening in on the conversation, but she didn't look disappointed in me. It had all been for my benefit, and her thoughts had a satisfied tinge to them that made me grin.

"Hello ladies, I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, but I thought maybe I could talk to Bella for a moment," I suggested politely, my eyes focused on the beautiful girl before me.

"Me?" Bella asked, her eyes full of distrust, "What do you want to talk to me about?"

Her stance changed. When I had come around the corner of the house, she had been thoughtful but calm. Her arms had been at her sides and her legs had been slightly spread. Now, her arms were folded across her chest and her legs snapped together. It was obvious her body language was warning me away, but I had to listen to Alice's suggestions and push ahead anyway.

"Alice told me that the sun was actually going to make an appearance today and I thought that maybe the two of us could go on a hunt up the mountain. There is a fantastic view up there," I said, giving her a soft smile that I hoped she would take as a gesture of friendship. My entire body tensed as I waited for her decision, feeling as though she could break my heart with one cold word.

Bella didn't respond right away; instead she looked to Kate as though hoping her friend could help her make this decision. Kate shrugged and threw a saucy sort of smile in my direction. "You could have worse company on a sunny afternoon. Besides, with your strength, he really isn't a match for you. If he tries anything, you could totally take him," she said and then pushed on Bella's shoulder lightly. "You should go."

Bella looked back at me, indecision coloring her eyes. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity she smiled hesitantly. "Okay, I guess I could do with a hunt. I'm a little thirsty," she admitted sheepishly.

I reached out my hand, waiting for her to put hers on my palm. "I promise I won't bite," I said. Bella gasped but cracked a smile and put her hand in mine.

"All right, but if you do, I'll bite back harder," she promised. I couldn't help myself: I laughed.

***

We had left for our trip into the woods, and so far I had no idea how things were going. After the initial smiles shared between us, Bella had seemed to become a little confused by our exchange. She was now running several feet away from me, as though the distance would keep her safe from me. I could tell that she was thinking about something, and that it was distressing her. Once again I wished I could read her thoughts as easily as I could read those of the others around me. She was a mystery, and if I was honest with myself, that was something that was attractive to me. Maybe it was the fact that her thoughts were shielded from me that made me desperate to know her secrets, but I felt that there was more to it. Bella wasn't an easy person to figure out, but I believed wholeheartedly that she was worth knowing.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked as I stopped dead in my tracks. It was about five minutes after we had taken off into the thick forest. I couldn't stand the uncertainty any longer and the words burst from me like water bursting from a dam. Once they were out, they couldn't be called back.

Bella stopped in front of me, her eyes wide with surprise at my outburst. "What?" she asked, acting like she wasn't sure what I had said.

"Don't play dumb, Bella," I said seriously, "I'm dying here. You know that I can't read your thoughts and you are purposefully using that against me. I wanted to come out alone so we could finally talk and clear the air. What are you thinking about?"

She hesitated and took a step toward me, the first time I had ever seen her do so voluntarily. "Edward, I honestly forgot that you could read minds at all, let alone the fact that I seem to be immune. It isn't something that I think about. I'm sorry if you felt that I was punishing you on purpose. The truth is, I was thinking about something that Kate told me earlier, something I haven't been able to stop thinking about. I just didn't know how to bring it up. I didn't know if you would tell me the truth."

I stepped to her side and reached out a hand to her. When she didn't pull away, I let myself touch her shoulder, brushing my fingers along the strands of her hair that curled there. It was like an electric thrill ran through my body as I touched her. Nothing could ever have felt as powerful. I knew in that instant that any doubt I had about Alice's visions of my loving her was long gone. Bella was absolutely the girl meant for me. I just wasn't sure how in the world I was going to persuade her of that. Of course, I had forever to convince her, and if it took forever, it would still be worth it.

"You can ask me anything and I will give you an answer," I told her honestly. In fact, I was dying for her to ask me questions, to try to get to know me. It was the best thing that could have happened.

She moved closer to me, her eyes betraying her need to be close to someone, anyone, in this new life. I knew that she still wasn't sure of me, but the fact that I could touch her like this made me hopeful of a relationship in the future. "Kate said something about how difficult it was for you to stop feeding from me. She said that you could have just killed me completely, but you pulled away long enough to give me a chance at another kind of life. I guess... I'm wondering why you stopped, or maybe how you stopped. I'm really not sure," she admitted, "Maybe both."

I laughed lightly and squeezed her shoulder. "I can see why you would want to know. I pulled you into this life, not really giving you an opportunity to decide for yourself what you wanted. Honestly, it was never my intention..." I trailed off, looking up at the sky. If I wanted to make it to the top of the mountain before the clouds cleared, we were going to have to move faster. "Do you mind talking after we reach the top of the mountain? The sun is going to come out soon and I really want to be somewhere that we can see the sun the best. Trust me, it will be worth it," I said.

"Okay," she said, her eyes curious, "but what is this preoccupation you all have with the sun? I know we won't catch fire in the light, but it seems like something is going on with it."

"You don't want to miss it," I promised, running my hand down her arm and reaching for her hand, which I tugged. "Come on, it should only take a few more minutes."

She pulled her hand away, but I wasn't hurt. I knew we could run faster without being linked to each other: I just wouldn't mind the hindrance. It was like her skin was lead and my fingers were magnets. I was drawn to her and now that she had let me touch her, I didn't want to stop. It wasn't as though we had any reason to get back to the house. We had all the time in the world for our afternoon together, and I was loath to rush it. I did want to make it up the mountain in time for the sun, though, and that was a stronger desire. I could wait to touch her until we reached the summit and the small tree-lined meadow I had once found there.

It only took a few minutes to reach the summit, and it was spent in relative quiet and a calm peace between us. I think it was the promise of answers that kept a hopeful smile on her face, while the possibility of brushing her skin again kept the smile on mine. Once we reached the summit, I led her to the small meadow I had found a few years ago. It was only twenty feet or so wide and thirty long, but it was sufficient for this purpose. The sun wouldn't be filtered through the trees here: it would be strong and undiluted in the snowy field.

"This place is beautiful," she said in awe, a hand going to her throat as she breathed the mountain air in. "The snow is completely undisturbed."

"It's not exactly easy for a human to get to," I reminded her, reaching for her hand. "There are some boulders we can sit on if you want. I imagine you have a lot of questions."

Bella laughed, a high joyful sound that rang through the crisp afternoon air. "That is the understatement of the century," she told me, giving me her hand readily and letting me lead her to a small group of boulders that were fairly dry of the snow that covered the ground around them. Bella didn't even hesitate, she just sat down, her eyes still fixated on me. "So, are you willing to answer anything at all that I ask?"

I sat down beside her, her hand still clutched firmly in my own. I wasn't prepared to let her go for anything short of a bear charging in on us. I couldn't very well let her starve. "Anything at all," I promised, "I have all the time in the world, so don't hold back."

She paused for a moment, as though trying to either collect her thoughts, or figure out what was most important to know first. Whatever it was, I forced myself to remain calm and wait patiently for her to speak. Finally she took a deep breath and looked me in the eye. "Why did you choose me? There were over a hundred girls at that school, but you didn't attack them, you attacked me. I just want to know why me."

I felt her hand shiver a little in mine and I could tell that this was something that had been bothering her more than anything else. I wanted to give her an answer that she could accept, but I wasn't sure how she would react to the truth. Well, there was only one way to find out. "Bella, do you remember us talking about the scent of blood and how mouthwatering it is? How it's impossible to stop yourself once you smell it?"

Bella nodded, "Alice said that the newborn thirst will eventually go away and that I'll be able to be around humans again. She said that self-control comes with years of practice."

"That's true, and honestly, I've never had a problem with keeping my self-control... until I met you," I said, squeezing her hand tightly.

"What was so different about me?" Bella asked, leaning into me as though my answer was crucial to her.

I paused, unsure of how exactly to explain the pull her blood had had for me. I didn't want to scare her, but I had promised to tell her the truth. "Your blood didn't smell like any I had ever found before," I admitted. "You were so mouthwatering that I could barely keep away from you, which I've told you before. The thing is, I didn't know that it was possible for the scent to differ so much from one person to another. I had never felt anything like it before."

"Then, how did you stop once you tasted my blood? Why didn't you just kill me?" Bella asked, curiosity instead of disgust (for once) coloring her voice.

"I really don't know," I said, "I know that sounds like a cop out, but I really don't know how I was able to pause long enough to realize what I was doing. Once I did, well... just because you were the cause of my lapse in self control didn't mean that you deserved to die. In that moment I ran for Carlisle and hoped that he would be able to help me save you. I vowed to myself that I would spend the rest of my life trying to help you settle into this life, no matter how long it took."

Bella's eyes widened when she heard my explanation, but she looked as though she believed me. "I guess I should thank you. You could have just let me die," she said softly, looking down at our clasped hands.

"No, I couldn't have. I don't want to be a monster, Bella. I didn't want to attack you in the first place but I couldn't stop myself. You walked right up to me and practically served yourself up on a platter. It would be so easy to blame you, but the blame lies with me. I lost control and I took your family from you, the life you knew. I just wish there was something, anything, that I could do to make it up to you."

My chest felt as though I had swallowed a brick. The guilt weighed heavy in me as I thought of how many people over the years I had killed. Never before had I felt as guilty as I did now, face to face with the girl whose world, but not life, I had stolen. I wondered if death would have been preferable to her.

"It's true that you took me away from my family, but somehow I can't blame you for bringing me into this life," she said, putting her free hand on my shoulder.

I looked up from our clasped hands and into her deep red eyes. There was no hint of deception in them at all. "You don't blame me for making you a monster?" I asked, disbelief evident in my voice and, most likely, in my wide eyes.

Bella shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "I'm not a monster and neither are you. Edward, your family tries so hard to do the right thing. You made a mistake with me, yes, but you don't normally take human lives. The thing is, I feel comfortable like this, it feels right."

I forced myself to keep calm, after all, I didn't know what she was referring to. "What feels right?" I asked, my fingers brushing the palm of her hand with gentle strokes. Could she possibly mean this time with me? Or was she being more specific than that?

"Being a vampire. You didn't really know me as a human, so you don't know how frustrated I was with myself all the time. The thing was, I never really felt like I fit in. I wasn't like other teenage girls, I couldn't get excited over boys, sports, dances, dressing up... anything. I guess, this new me, this new life, it just feels like it was always what I was meant to be. I feel like I finally found a place where I fit in," she admitted a little shyly, her eyes downcast as though she had embarrassed herself.

I felt a rush of excitement race through me at her words. This wasn't what I thought I would hear on this excursion, but it was more than I could have hoped for. She was settling in better than I had thought she was. I knew she and Kate had become close and maybe that had been what she needed all along. I was about to open my mouth to tell her all of this when I felt the warmth of the sun peek through the clouds and caught a glimpse of shimmer on Bella's cheeks. "I almost forgot why I brought you up here," I said with a grin and pulled Bella to her feet. "Look at yourself."

Bella gave me a half-smile, as though she thought I was somehow teasing her, but her gasp of surprise brought a smile to my face. "I sparkle!" she cried, dropping my hand and she looked at her arms and then up at me. "How... why...?"

I grinned at her, enjoying her enjoyment. "It's what happened when the venom changed you," I told her, brushing a hand down one of her arms, "All of your cells crystallized, turning them to something like granite. In the sun, light refracts off of those crystallized cells, giving our skin a shimmering effect."

"It's so beautiful," she whispered, moving a hand up and down her glimmering skin. She looked up into my eyes, a brilliant smile on her face, "You look beautiful too."

I made a face and she laughed. It was nice to be able to talk with her like this. It even made me think of my lot in life a little bit different. Bella seemed to think that this world and our lot in it wasn't a bad thing, just a different way of living. I couldn't help but wish that I knew how her mind worked. It seemed like such an interesting place. "You are absolutely magnificent," I said honestly, not speaking just of her outer beauty but everything about her. She amazed me.

She laughed again, shaking her head as though I had made a joke. "I'm just me, nothing special," she said, still admiring the way the sun glinted off her skin.

"I'll have to disagree with you there, you are special, Bella. You said yourself that this life seems right for you. It takes a very special kind of person to ease into it so quickly. You are the most amazing person I've ever met," I said, hoping that my honesty didn't scare her off. I shouldn't have worried; she just gave me a brilliant smile, one that radiated from deep inside of her. She was such a beautiful person.

"Thank you," she said simply, "I can tell you really mean it."

"I do," I agreed and then, just because I couldn't keep myself from touching her any longer, I stepped closer to her and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "So, friends?"

It was the same question I had asked two months ago on the day that she had stepped into our world. This time I was expecting a different answer and I wasn't disappointed. "I think I'd like that a lot," she admitted with a shy kind of smile.

I grinned triumphantly. I had a feeling that Alice's visions had just been changed for the better, and all because I had listened to her advice. It was definitely something to remember in the future.


	5. Chapter Four: Conversations

**Chapter Four: Conversations**

_"A little birdie told me that Isabella is spending the day with Katrina and Eleazar."_ Tanya's thoughts reached me a second or two before she appeared in the music room doorway. I tried to block her out, continuing to work on a new piece I was composing. Of course, trying to ignore Tanya was like trying to ignore a tornado as it tore through town.

"You know she doesn't like to be called by her Christian name. She prefers Bella," I reminded her absently as I recorded a few notes on my composition page.

I was incredibly proud of my new work. I didn't often compose my own pieces, but when I was truly inspired I couldn't stop the notes flowing from my fingertips. When Esme had welcomed me back from my sojourn into nomadic vampire life, I had been inspired to compose a piece based on her incredible motherly love and forgiveness. This time, Bella was my muse, and honestly, it was quickly becoming the best piece I had ever composed.

_"I forgot,"_ she thought, and I could tell she was lying._ "So, what are you playing? I haven't heard this one before."_

She glided across the room, her graceful feet making barely a squeak as she crossed the polished wood floor. She sat next to me on the piano bench, much like Alice had done a few days before. I could only smile as I thought of how drastically life had changed since that day. It was as if my afternoon with Bella had torn down the walls of fear and distrust between us. We were tentatively becoming closer, but it was definitely a start.

"I'm just working on a new composition. I figured I had plenty of time to compose while we were here. It isn't like I have school to take up my time now," I said with a half smile.

"I don't even know why you all go to school anyway," Tanya said aloud, "it seems like a waste of time to me."

I nodded, "It's our attempt at normalcy, but it does eat up time that could be better spent doing more productive things."

At those words, Tanya leaned into my side, practically purring._ "I can think of more productive things we could be doing. Like I said, your little friend is busy with Kate and Eleazar this afternoon. No one would miss us if we went off on our own for a little while."_

I shuddered and slid off the bench as Tanya attempted to press her lips to my neck. She moved right along with me, and I could feel her light breath tickle my ear as she tried to get closer to me. I knew she was trying to arouse me, but it was doing just the opposite. My body felt numb, as though her affections were paralyzing me. "Tanya," I said, my voice firm as I turned to look at her, "I don't want..."

I couldn't finish what I was saying, because Tanya took the opportunity to press her lips against mine, cutting off my words. The desperation and need for quickness had flashed through her thoughts so quickly that by the time I had registered them, my head had only turned to the side a fraction of an inch and she still easily found my lips.

_"I can give you everything you've ever wanted,"_ she thought desperately as she held me close,_ "that girl doesn't even look at you that way. Be with me, I want you. I can show you delights you have never even dreamed of before."_

I broke away from her in revulsion at the explicit thoughts in her mind. I didn't know how many men Tanya had been with, but it was more than than I could fathom, even having access to those memories. It was depressing the way she looked at sex as her way to get everything she wanted. It reminded me that she didn't really want me, she just wanted to say that she had had me. She wasn't used to being told 'no'.

"Tanya," I said firmly, grabbing her wrists (which had snaked around my neck) and putting them in her lap, "I don't think we would be good for each other. You know this as well as I do. You just hate being rejected."

Her face crumpled into a petulant frown. "But, we make sense, Edward," she argued, too upset to keep the conversation quietly in her mind, "We have been friends for so long and we enjoy each other's company. You have told me before that you think I'm beautiful!"

This was true, and I couldn't deny it. "Tanya, you are more radiant than the Alaskan sunrise, but I don't love you."

"What does love have to do with it?" she demanded, rubbing her hand against my inner thigh, "I want to bring us both pleasure. What is wrong with that?"

I sighed and pushed her hand away yet again. For years she had been hounding me, but when Bella had shown up, she had gotten much worse. It was as though she could tell I was slipping through her fingers and she couldn't handle competition. "I've told you before and I'll tell you again, I am not interested in a meaningless sexual relationship. I want my first partner to be my only partner. I may be old fashioned, but I want my first time to be on my wedding night," I said simply, trying to keep images of Bella's dark hair spread across white satin sheets from my mind. Thoughts like that were way too serious for these early stages of our relationship, but I couldn't seem to keep them at bay. Every time we touched, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about what it would be like to kiss her, caress her... she was like a drug that I just couldn't get enough of.

"I would marry you," Tanya said, though her thoughts betrayed her forceful words, "I would be a faithful wife."

I laughed and placed a hand on her shoulder. "We both know that isn't true. You have never been faithful to a man and I don't really think you want to be."

She frowned, her thoughts dark but honest in her own mind. She knew as well as I did that she would tire of me soon after we had lain together. She hadn't yet found a man who could satisfy all of her desires. "I wish you weren't so moral," she sighed, "we could have something special."

"I don't doubt your skills," I promised, a sad sort of smile on my face, "but I'm in it for the long haul and you just aren't built for that."

Tanya sighed and scooted off the bench, giving me a disappointed look. Her thoughts raced in her head, making it difficult for me to focus on any one possibility, but finally she settled on one, just as she reached the doorway of the music room._ "Do you honestly think that your little play thing will be any different than my sisters and I? She is quite beautiful and she might want to experience more than just what you have to offer."_

I felt as though she had kicked me in the gut. It was something I hadn't wanted to think about, but now that she brought it up, it stuck in my mind like a poisonous barb that I couldn't work free. "Bella can make her own decisions, I'm not in charge of her," I said, as politely as I could make it.

_"You're a fool,"_ Tanya tossed at me and then hurried from the room, not realizing that her poisonous words had hit their mark.

I pushed myself away from the piano, Tanya's ugly thoughts making me unable to continue working on Bella's song.

***

I couldn't make myself wait for Bella to come and find me after her training session with Kate was over, so I headed outside to see if I could interrupt. I had done that a few times in the past couple of days and no one really seemed to mind. Today, of course, I had a different reason for wanting to see Bella and it had little to do with missing her. I needed to know if what Tanya said could possibly be true and I needed to hear it from Bella's lips.

As I rounded the corner to the area where Bella and Kate spent a good portion of their afternoons, I saw Bella positively glowing with triumph. She caught sight of me and sprinted to my side, full of giddy satisfaction. "Edward, I think I had a breakthrough today!" she told me, placing a hand on my arm and squeezing it in her excitement.

"Oh?" I asked curiously. Even though Tanya's thoughts weighed heavy on my mind, I was able to push them aside for a moment to hear Bella's news. If something pleased her, it would most likely please me as well.

"Well, Carmen came out a few minutes ago to see how things were going," Bella said, gesturing to the petite Latino vampire, "and Kate got this weird gleam in her eye and made a move to touch her. I knew I had to protect Carmen from Kate's gift, before I was even conscious of doing it, I was shielding her. It was like my shield became elastic and I shot it toward her, encasing her as well as myself. I was able to protect someone else!"

Her smile was so brilliant and contagious that I couldn't stop myself from smiling back. It was an impressive feat, something that Kate hadn't even been sure Bella would be able to. It also told me how much Bella loved Carmen. The woman had quickly become like a mother to her. "Bella, that is wonderful news," I said and placed my hand over hers on my arm, "it sounds like you are making good progress."

Carmen beamed at Bella, "She has strong protective instincts. I would hate to be someone on the wrong side of her."

Bella turned to her older friend. "You would never be on the wrong side of me," she said firmly, "I absolutely adore you."

"And I you, hija," Carmen said fondly.

The moment was so poignant that I was tempted to leave and discuss my worries with her another time, but when I tried to pull away Bella tightened her grip on my arm. "I need to talk to you about something," she said to me and then turned to Kate, "do you mind if I cut out early today?"

Kate grinned slyly at her, "Oh, I think we had a good day. You take off, you crazy kids."

Bella turned to me, a determined sort of smile on her face. "Do you mind if we go hunting while we talk? I'm starving."

Her hand went to her throat and she winced a bit. I knew she got thirsty much more often than the rest of us and we tried to accommodate her with frequent hunts, but unfortunately she didn't always tell us when she needed to hunt. I wasn't sure if she wanted to seem strong, or if she just hated bothering us. Whatever the reason, I was quick to agree. "Of course we can. You shouldn't wait so long next time, just let one of us know," I said seriously, "you need to keep yourself on a steady diet for a while."

Bella winced again and nodded. "That might be best," she agreed, "so, are you ready to go?"

I gestured to the forest with a flourish, trying to keep my own worries at bay. "After you, milady."

***

An hour later we found ourselves lying back on the forest floor, our stomachs full to bursting with the blood of our prey. I still couldn't believe that Bella had taken down two bears and an elk, never failing to capture her target. She had hunted with such grace, such beauty, that it had been difficult for me to concentrate on finding my own prey. I had actually had to chase down one elk because I had missed him the first time. Bella had enjoyed watching that though. It had made her laugh. Even though it had come at the cost of my embarrassment, I liked making her laugh. It made it all worth it.

"So, Edward, can I ask you for a favor?" Bella asked hesitantly.

I turned to look at her and saw that her eyes were focused on the ground where she was making doodles in the snow with her fingers. "You can ask me anything, you already know that," I told her, reaching out to take her hand in mine. She squeezed it, as though trying to take reassurance from my closeness.

"I've been thinking about my parents a lot lately, and I was wondering if there was any way that I can tell them I'm okay," she said in a rush, obviously expecting me to give her an answer she didn't want to hear.

I paused, unsure of how to respond. While I thought, I sat up, pulling her upright as well. "I'm not sure what would be best," I said honestly. I knew her father was the Chief of Police in Forks and I also knew what that meant. He would never rest until he knew his daughter was all right. The problem was that nothing I could think of would be answer enough for a grieving family.

"Could I call Renee or Charlie? I wouldn't have to tell them where I am or what happened, I could just let them know I'm alive," Bella prompted, hope in her eyes.

"Bella, have you heard your voice?" I asked her, as gentle as I could manage, "you sound nothing at all like your old self. They wouldn't recognize you, would probably feel hurt that they were being crank called."

Her face fell, crumpling into a look of hopelessness. "Could I go and see them? I know Florida and Arizona would be out because of the sun, but what about Charlie? Could I visit him and show him that I'm okay?"

Once again I felt awful as I had to dash her hopes. "You've been a vampire for only a few months. You can barely be around a kodiak bear without tearing into him. Would you trust yourself around your father, around people you care about?" I hated hurting her, but I knew if she hurt her father, she would never forgive herself. I was trying to protect her and I hoped she would understand that.

She put a hand to her mouth, gasping at the thought of killing her father. "Alright, visiting is out, at least for now," she agreed, "but maybe in a year or so when I'm more in control?"

I nodded, "I think that would be fine, but we will have to take it month by month. As soon as I think you are ready, I will let you visit your father."

Bella dropped her hand, sighing. "That still doesn't help with what I should do now. I can't just let them worry about me until I can control myself. I'm sure they are worried sick."

I thought about that for another long moment. I wanted more than anything to make her happy, to let all of her worries disappear so she could feel free to make the most of her new life. "You could always write them a letter," I said hesitantly. "You would have to be careful about what you say. I know it isn't the best option, but you can tell them that you are alright and... happy."

Her eyes shot to mine, the expression inscrutable. I wished that I could take the words back as soon as they were out. I had obviously said the wrong thing, assumed that she felt more for me than she did. I immediately dropped her hand and scooted myself away from Bella.

"Charlie probably won't stop looking for me, but at least he would know that I'm still alive," she said, looking away from me in obvious embarrassment. "I want my parents to know that I'm happy in my new life."

I tried to hide a smile, but I couldn't. I had been wrong: she had just been embarrassed by her own emotions. It was a heady, wonderful thing. I reached for her hand again and she willingly gave it to me, her eyes still focused on the ground. "Are you really happy?" I couldn't help but ask.

Bella nodded, finally forcing herself to look at me. Her eyes were clear and full of contentment. "I didn't think I could be, but I am. I have friends and family who really understand me, who support me. I've never really experienced this before," she admitted.

Her words sent an odd chill through me. Part of me was elated to think that she really was happy here with us, that I hadn't ruined her life forever. The other part of me wondered what her life had been like before she had arrived in Forks and I had brought her into my world. I decided to ask: after all, friends could ask, couldn't they? "Why did you move to Forks? I never thought to ask," I said curiously, hoping that Bella would confide in me.

She got quiet, and her brows furrowed. I knew from experience that trying to remember life before the transformation was difficult. It was like trying to look through mud. It was possible, but not easy. "My mom and dad are divorced, they had been since I was a baby," she began, speaking slowly as she sifted through the cloudy memories. "My mom got remarried a few months ago to a guy named Phil. He was nice, but he was a minor league baseball player trying to make it in the big leagues. It meant that he traveled a lot and my mom missed him. I hated that she felt miserable staying home with me, so I decided to move in with Charlie."

"So, your mother didn't think about your needs, like having a stable home life?" I asked, outraged that Bella had sacrificed her own happiness so that her mother could travel with her new husband. It sounded to me like Bella was the one making all the sacrifices.

Bella shook her head. "You don't know my mother. She's very... childlike I guess. I've always been the one to take care of her. She has poor impulse control."

"That isn't really an excuse," I told her.

"It's hard to understand when you don't know someone like that. I guess I've just always been the adult, I'm used to taking care of people. When my mother got remarried she didn't need me to take care of her anymore. It's another reason that I left, I wasn't needed anymore," Bella said with a shrug of her shoulders. I could tell she was trying to be flippant, but she failed miserably. I could see the pain in her eyes as she thought about her mother and their life together.

I squeezed her hand tightly. "You miss her, don't you?"

She nodded, swallowing hard against the tears that she couldn't shed. "She was my best friend, we did everything together. She didn't understand me though, we were nothing alike," she whispered.

I moved closer to her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, drawing her into an embrace. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have asked," I said, my heart breaking a little as I felt her shudder with tearless sobs.

"It's just, I've never looked at it objectively before. I always just thought that my mom needed me to take care of her and so I did. I never thought of her as selfish," Bella wept into my shirt, clinging tightly the cotton fabric. All I could do was hold her, because nothing I could say could fix this. "She loved me though, I always knew that she loved me."

"Of course she did," I murmured, running my hands up and down her back in a soothing motion. "I'm sorry that I upset you, I didn't mean anything by it, Bella."

"I know," she whispered, finally pulling herself out of my arms, "I know you didn't mean to upset me. I just... I guess this was a long time coming. I've never thought about my own wants and needs until now."

"Sometimes it takes a big event to make you see the world differently," I said philosophically, "and what you have been through in the past month is bigger than what most people go through. The thing is, you now have the time and the opportunity to discover what you want out of life. So what do you want?"

"I don't know, I really haven't taken the time to think about it yet," she admitted with a smile that, while small, effectively banished the melancholy mood that had fallen over the afternoon. "Kate suggested that I do some traveling after I can control myself. I have always wanted to backpack through Europe."

I smiled at that admission. It sounded very much like the Bella that I was getting to know. She was so practical and tried so hard to hide her soft romantic side. Backpacking was the practical side of her. She didn't want to stay in high priced hotels; she wanted to live on the land. Her romantic side saw the beauty and mystery of Europe. I desperately wanted to see that dream come true, I wanted to be there when she saw Paris and Berlin for the first time. I wanted to share this dream with her.

"Alone?" I asked simply, hoping that she couldn't hear the desire to accompany her in my voice.

Bella smiled dreamily, squeezing my hand lightly. "Perhaps, but I think I would enjoy company. Maybe we can all go. It would be a nice way to celebrate putting my newborn status behind me. I can just see Alice dragging me around Paris. She is very determined to dress everyone, isn't she?"

I laughed and nodded, threading my fingers through hers. "Alice likes seeing everyone look their best. If you let her, she will buy you an outfit for every hour of the day," I said, grinning at the thought. "I don't think I've ever worn the same pair of jeans more than once. Alice just has this need to treat us all like her own personal mannequins."

Bella groaned, but there was laughter in the sound. "I haven't wanted her to be upset with me, but I absolutely hate being dressed up. I'm just not comfortable in designer clothing," she admitted.

I chuckled, "I'll talk to her for you, but I can't promise it will help. Alice is a force of nature, she can't be stopped."

"Yeah, that's what I was worried about," she said with a long suffering sigh. She leaned her head against my shoulder and I felt a thrill run through me. It was such a perfect moment, sitting with Bella in a snow quiet forest, our hands linked and her head resting against my shoulder. If I could stop time, this would be the moment I would choose. It was a culmination of everything I had been hoping for.

My thoughts began to drift as I enjoyed the peaceful time with the girl I adored. Every single day that I spent with her, the more confidences we shared, the more I grew to care about her. I still couldn't say if it was love, but if it wasn't, it was damn close.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" Bella asked, breaking the comfortable silence between us.

I hesitated, not wanting to ruin the peace we had found, but knowing that I wouldn't really be able to relax without Bella's assurances that Tanya was wrong. Not that Bella had romantic feelings for me, not yet anyway, but I was hopeful that eventually she would. Would I be enough for her? Would she want the things that I wanted out of life? I wouldn't know unless I asked her.

"You said you wanted to travel in the future," I began and Bella nodded against my shoulder, "I was wondering if there was anything else you wanted out of life."

Bella was quiet for a moment, and then I felt her relax against me. "The thing is, I didn't even have plans for the future. I guess college was always an option, but I didn't really have anything specific that I wanted to study or be. Honestly, this was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. I don't feel lost anymore, but I don't have to make any tough choices either. I had no idea what I wanted to be; now it's been decided for me."

I thought about her answer. It made sense once I had discovered how much of her time had been devoted to others. She had never really thought about herself and her wants, so she had never really considered her future. That made the question of a monogamous relationship an odd thing. Had she ever really thought about it? "What about a family, did you ever want a husband and children?" I asked. I hoped that it would just sound like a natural progression of my other question and not like the someday proposal that it was.

Bella laughed and pulled away from me. I saw that her face was wrinkled in a pretty frown. "My only experiences with marriage are my mother's, and I don't want any part of that," she said.

Just like Tanya's words had earlier, Bella's words hit me like a kick in the gut. "You don't want to ever fall in love?" I asked, hoping my words sounded lighter than they felt.

She looked at me strangely and shook her head. "Most marriages aren't about love, they are about infatuation. I have nothing against love, I just feel that if you love someone, that should be enough. So many marriages end in divorce. Besides, isn't marriage kind of a human convention anyway?"

I felt a sigh of relief run through me. She was one of those women: the ones who felt that marriage was a contract and not a promise. That I could work with. "What do you mean, a human convention?" I asked curiously, wondering about the way she had worded her comment.

"Well, it just seems that something like a 'wedding' would be kind of pointless in the grand scheme of things, wouldn't it? Carmen and Eleazar seem to be very devoted to each other, but I can't imagine them standing in front of a priest... a vampire? It seems ridiculous," Bella said with a light laugh.

"Carmen and Eleazar are married," I said simply, "so are Alice and Jasper. Why would you think having an official promise or vow to each other would be any less important to immortals? We still love the same way humans do, more so actually. You really have to be devoted to someone to promise to love them for eternity, don't you think?"

Bella closed her mouth, obviously stunned by the way I had answered her question. "You want to get married someday, don't you?" she asked softly, reaching out her free hand to stroke my face, "You are very old fashioned."

I smiled at that, it was definitely true. "I was born in 1901, so yes, I have very old fashioned ideas and morals. That doesn't mean they aren't still worth having, even in this day and age where people don't respect their partners. I was raised to do my best by a lady and to treat her like a princess. That means doing right by her and giving her my name."

"You are one of a kind," Bella said with a smile.

"As are you, Bella, as are you," I told her simply.

It didn't look like I would sway her easily, but there was a ray of hope there. I just had to be patient enough to persuade her. And, as I had told her many times before, we had eternity to figure things out. An eternity in which to ask the difficult questions like whether commitment was important to her. I was not a patient male, but I could wait for her. I was suddenly quite eager to get back to the house and work on my composition. I had an entire afternoon's worth of new inspiration to drive me.


	6. Chapter Five: Laws

**A/N: **So, I haven't exactly been very chatty since I've been back, have I? I just thought I should let you all know that this won't be the longest of fanfics and with the prologue and epilogue there will only be about 14 chapters (I haven't decided if I should add one last chapter to the very end yet). I hope you all are enjoying this story and I hope to continuing updating at a rate of one a week or so. With that said... enjoy!

**Chapter Five: Laws**

"There is no reason you can't visit the Louvre," Alice said seriously. "Why do you think you can't?"

When Bella and I had shown back up at the house after our afternoon hunt and our long talk together, I made the mistake of telling Alice about Bella's desire to see Europe. In true Alice style, she had taken over and begun planning a huge lavish trip, ignoring Bella's pleas to keep it simple. When Bella had expressed sadness over missing the visiting hours in the Louvre in Paris, however, Alice had bristled with indignation.

"Well, the Louvre closes at night and we can't exactly waltz in with shimmering skin. I think that might alert security that something is up," Bella said with a laugh, "I don't really want to be hunted down with torches and pitchforks."

Alice shook her head, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. "Haven't you ever heard of private tours? We can set one up for an evening, or we can choose a cloudy day to visit Paris. I've never been wrong about the weather yet," she said seriously.

"I can't let you set up a private tour, that would cost a fortune!" Bella said in exasperation, "The whole point of backpacking is to spend as little money as possible. I don't want to stay in hotels, especially when we won't be sleeping. I don't want to visit famous restaurants when we won't be eating. Alice, I just want the opportunity to see and experience these places."

Alice pouted, but I stepped in before she could argue with Bella again. "Alice, this is her celebration, so she can plan it the way she wants. If you want to go on a trip through Europe and do all the things you want, have Jasper take you on your dozenth honeymoon."

She stuck out her tongue at me. "I'm just trying to help make her first trip to Europe memorable. I want to make sure she enjoys herself."

"But Alice, I don't want to waste money on things we don't even need. Why book rooms in hotels that we won't use? Why the restaurants and the cafes and the car rentals? We can get around perfectly well without all of that," Bella argued. "What I want most about this trip is having my friends around me and sharing the memories with all of you. Going to the Louvre, the Eiffel Tower, seeing the remains of the Berlin Wall; those are the things that really matter to me."

I tried to hide a smile as I watched Bella go head to head with Alice. I could tell that this was something she really wanted, something that she felt she needed exactly the way she wanted it. I was immensely proud of her. "I think you have made some very valid points, Bella," I said, practically beaming with pleasure, "but if money is your only concern, you don't have to worry. We have more than enough for anything you might ever need."

Her eyebrows rose in a condescending way, as though she didn't really believe me. "It doesn't matter how much money you have. There is no reason to be throwing money away on things we won't even use. We are in a recession, you know," she said seriously.

"Bella, you know that I can see the future, right?" Alice asked delicately, settling herself into a sofa beside the ever quiet Jasper. I knew where this was heading and I pursed my lips, trying to stop myself from laughing.

Bella shrugged, "I know what you've all told me, but I don't see what that has to do with money."

"I can predict trends in the stock market," Alice said with a prim sort of smile. "Our family has more money than we could ever spend in our long lives."

Bella's mouth dropped open, but she quickly closed it again and forced a polite smile on her face. "Well, that may be the case, but I still refuse to stay in a hotel. It's just ridiculous."

Alice threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. "You win, we won't spend frivolous money."

"Does that mean I won't have to visit any boutiques with you?" Bella asked hopefully.

Alice eyed Bella critically. "I said we won't spend money on frivolities. Clothing is a necessity."

I couldn't keep it in any longer, I burst out laughing. Both girls turned to me, though only Bella had a smile on her face. "Bella, you might as well give in on this one. Alice isn't going to budge," I insisted, putting a hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Oh, all right," Bella said with a sigh, "I'll let you take me shopping."

Alice squealed excitedly, jumping off the sofa and pulling Bella into a tight hug. "I can't wait to tell the others, they are going to be so excited!"

As for me, I was glad that Tanya and her sisters had gone out hunting after Bella had cut her training session short. If Tanya had been home to see how happy Bella and I had been when we arrived back at the house... well, I didn't think it would have been a pretty picture. Tanya was already jealous of Bella. Our arrival with hands clasped would have been a little too much for her.

"We should probably stop by and visit Aro and the others while we are in Italy," Jasper said casually from the sofa.

I froze at his words, the thought of the Volturi sending chills up my spine. I didn't want Bella anywhere near the vampires that governed our secret world. The stories of them commandeering vampires with exceptional talents was legendary. I couldn't bear it if they were able to steal her away from me. "Is that necessary?" I asked lightly, "They probably wouldn't even care that we missed them this trip."

"It's only polite, Edward. You know how Carlisle feels about keeping relations friendly with them," Jasper said, and his thoughts were confused. He couldn't figure out why I was so afraid of them when I never had been before.

"Who is Aro?" Bella asked curiously, breaking into our conversation.

Every eye in the room turned to Bella, and I could tell that none of us knew exactly how to answer that question. Did we call them royalty? Gestapo? They were a little of both. I didn't want to scare Bella, but once again I felt that the truth was more important in the long run. "Aro is one of the three leaders of the Volturi. The Volturi is pretty much the closest thing to royalty that our world has," I began, trying to sound nonchalant so that she wouldn't detect the worry I was feeling.

Bella's eyes widened in surprise. "Royalty? So what, they govern us?"

I nodded, relieved by the way she had phrased it. It made it sound much nicer, like we had a choice in the matter. "Yes. Their duty is to enforce the laws that we live by. If a coven gets out of hand, the Volturi go and take care of it. That way we can keep to ourselves and not worry about what other covens might be doing," I explained, crossing the room to where Bella was sitting. It was a small alcove under a big window, where Carmen and Esme had years ago fashioned a comfortable and padded seat. I sat beside her and put an arm gently around her shoulder.

She leaned into me, seemingly without thinking about the action. "What kind of laws are we talking about here? You haven't mentioned anything about them before." She sounded a little perturbed, as if we were keeping secrets from her.

Alice piped up from the sofa near the window seat where Bella and I were sitting. "There is really only one law: everything else falls under it," she said and then smiled patiently. "We can't let humans know of our existence."

"Oh," Bella said and laughed softly, shaking her head, "I should have figured that out. It makes sense."

"Most vampires aren't like us, Bella," I said tenderly, brushing her hair back behind her shoulder. "We only drink from animals because we don't want to hurt anyone. We have found that it makes us more able to live in bigger groups and form stronger relationships. Generally, the Volturi would never bother us because we don't make spectacles of ourselves. Occasionally a newborn will run rampant and kill so many people that the Volturi would take notice, or they could accidentally show themselves to a human. Those kinds of things put all of us in danger. That would be a cause for the Volturi to take action."

"So, you shouldn't worry yourself about them," Alice said with a deliberate nod, "They don't normally leave Italy unless there is something really big for them to take care of."

Bella relaxed against me, her head resting on my shoulder. "So, you said Aro is one of three. Who are the other two?"

Jasper piped up, a look of awe and respect on his face. "We don't know a lot about them. It isn't really our business to know them. The only reason we know them well is because both Eleazar and Carlisle spent time with them before settling down with a family. Aro is the self proclaimed spokesman of the three. He has a way with words and the others, including their guard, fall behind him almost unanimously. He has the gift of being able to read every thought your mind has ever had, but he has to be able to touch you. It's a limitation that Carlisle has says he doesn't care for very much. Then there is Marcus, the quietest of the three men. He is also the most gifted of the three leaders."

"Really?" Bella asked interestedly, leaning forward as if to better hear Jasper's words. "What is his gift?"

"He can detect relationships between people and can sense the strength between them. It's an interesting and unique talent," I said thoughtfully. I could see the advantages of such a talent in the hands of the Volturi, but I didn't say any of that aloud. Speaking against our leaders wasn't exactly something you lived to tell about.

"What about the third? What role does he play?" Bella asked Jasper.

Jasper hesitated, and I couldn't blame him. Not much was really known about the snowy-haired third member of the Volturi. Carlisle had said that Caius was a sullen and power hungry vampire, but the two had never been close. Carlisle had never felt like he could trust him. "He has no special talents, so he ends up handling the messy business," I said honestly, "He sends out the guard to take care of problems."

Bella thought that over and then looked at me. "So, this guard... are they there just to take care of potential problems? Or do they have other responsibilities?"

"It depends on the vampire," I said. "Some of them attend specifically to the leaders, and others handle the dirty work. Most of the time they aren't needed though, so their numbers tend to fluctuate. I'm not sure how many members of the guard there are right now."

Bella sighed and placed her chin in a hand that rested on her knee. "This world of yours certainly has it's complexities, doesn't it?"

I chuckled and squeezed her into my side. "You have no idea."

***

I had finally settled down into the music room again, my head filled with thoughts of Bella and my composition. I was surprised, but more than that, thrilled, by the way our relationship was progressing. She had settled so well into this life that even our talk about the Volturi hadn't jarred her from the progress she was making as a newborn. Pride filled me, putting a contented smile on my face as I opened up the piano. Bella was so much more than I had ever thought. She was strong, brave, funny and completely wonderful.

I pulled my composition from its hiding place and set it in the music stand, putting my fingers to the keys so that I could play what I already had. The music began to flow out of the piano, filling the room with the luxurious notes that only a grand piano can produce. The tune was much more romantic than any I had ever written and I knew it was because of my muse. The tune reminded me of the mountains and the snow, of Bella's eyes lighting up and of glimmering skin in the sunlight. It was everything that was Bella all rolled into one beautiful song.

I was adding a second harmony to my newest section when the music door was flung open.

"Edward, I saw..." Alice breathed, but she didn't have to continue because I could see the vision unfolding in her mind. I saw Bella pacing around the room that Carmen and Eleazar had gracefully given her to decorate and have as her own. She looked confused and absolutely miserable as she walked around and around her room. Then suddenly, she seemed to have come to a decision. She flew to her door, flung it open and raced down the stairs, heading for the front door. A chill ran down my spine as I realized that Bella was attempting to leave us.

"When... when is this supposed to happen?" I asked, grabbing Alice's shoulders and shaking her as though the answers would spill from her. I felt as frozen as the tundra around the house we were in, so frozen that I couldn't even keep up the pretense of breathing. Could Bella really leave us? And a bigger question was why. "Was it me? Will I do something to cause this?"

Alice shook her head, her eyes wide with confusion. "Whatever caused this slipped past me. I don't know what happened, but I do know when... Edward, she is planning on leaving within the next ten minutes."

I sprang to action, unable to stand still for a moment longer. If there was any chance that I could change the future and keep Bella from leaving us, I would gladly take that chance. If we let her leave... I didn't even want to think about the trouble she could get into. If she ended up hurting anyone, the blame would rest solely on me.

I dashed up the stairs to Bella's room, a place where I had actually never been. Usually I preferred to let my family have their privacy, but in this case, in this moment, I couldn't abide by that decision. I didn't even knock on the door, but threw it open and barged my way in, Alice close on my heels.

Bella looked surprised to see me, but not happy. Her eyes were both accusing and guilty, a combination that didn't make any sense to me. I had only left her side half an hour before and she had been happy and smiling. I couldn't understand what had changed in that time. "Bella, I can't let you leave," I said, crossing the room and putting my hands on her shoulders, "not without knowing why."

"How did you know that I was going to leave?" she asked, her eyes still filled with accusations that I didn't understand.

"Ahem," Alice said, raising a hand behind me, "I can see the future remember? Maybe you should think about that the next time you are about to do something stupid."

Bella sighed and turned around to collapse on the small cream sofa in the corner. She put her face in her hands, the perfect picture of frustration and hopelessness. I knelt before her and pulled her hands from her face, clasping them tenderly in my own. Unlike earlier in the window seat, she shied away from my attentions, pulling her hands from mine and dropping them in her lap. "Bella, what's wrong? You are scaring me," I said sternly, wondering if a vampire could suffer from a worry induced heart attack.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she cried out, raising her hands in the air, clenching them into fists and glaring at me with burning fury. She dropped her hands then, and they landed on her thighs with a loud cracking sound that stunned me.

"Tell you what?" I asked, utterly bewildered by her frustration.

Bella's eye brows knitted together in frustration. "When you were telling me about the Volturi, why didn't you tell me that you needed permission to change me? Why didn't you tell me that my being here is putting all of you at risk?"

Her outburst surprised me so much that I couldn't form a response. What in the hell was she talking about? We hadn't said anything like that, and honestly, I had never even heard of a rule like that. We could change whomever we wanted into a vampire, at least in the Volturi's eyes. The treaty with the Quileutes was another matter entirely. Thankfully Alice stepped in for me while my brain tried to phrase a response from such a jumbled mess.

"We didn't tell you, because it isn't true," Alice said simply, her small body now leaning against the doorway that she was still standing in. She crossed her arms delicately across her chest and looked at Bella with calm eyes.

Bella looked as though she wasn't quite sure whether or not to believe Alice. Her lips puckered and her brows stayed knitted in a frown. "If it isn't true, then why would Tanya..." she trailed off, pressing her lips together tightly.

"Tanya?" My head snapped around to Alice, our eyes meeting in a wordless communication. Apparently the vampire hadn't accepted my rejection and had sought Bella out. Though how she had known that we had discussed the Volturi with Bella was something I couldn't figure out.

"Bella, what did Tanya tell you? This is important," Alice said, no longer lounging with feigned calmness. She rushed to my side, looking down at the distressed girl in front of me, her eyes serious.

Bella hesitated, looking from Alice to me, but finally her shoulders drooped and she reached for my hand, almost as if it was instinctual and she wasn't realizing that she was doing it. "She said that the Volturi controls the population and that you were all going to get into trouble when they found me with you. She said they might kill me for being illegal," she admitted. "She told me that if I cared for all of you at all, I should leave before they found me."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was going over the line, even for Tanya. She had almost sent a newborn, one with very heightened and fragile emotions, out into the world by herself. She had a lot to answer for. "Bella, this isn't true at all. While the Volturi does like to keep tabs on vampires with special abilities, they in no way monitor the population. I think Tanya was confused," I said with forced calm. My insides were squirming and screaming at me to find the vampire that had hurt Bella and to make her pay. It wasn't a very nice feeling.

"So, I don't have to leave?" she asked, hope lighting her eyes.

"Of course not," Alice said soothingly, taking one of Bella's hands and stroking it gently, "We love you and want you to stay with us."

"You aren't lying to protect my feelings?" Bella asked, "Tanya said that you might."

I took another deep breath, this one was harder to take than the first. The fact that Bella's faith in us was shaken... well, it wasn't something I was going to let Tanya get away with. "You can ask Carmen and Eleazar if you don't believe us, but they will tell you the same thing. You are not going to be taken from us, and we are not going to be in trouble for changing you."

Bella's eyes met mine, and I felt an electric spark run through me, a charge in the air that hung between us. "I wouldn't want to cause you any inconveniences. I've come to care about you all too much."

The words unspoken there struck me to the quick. When she said she cared about us, she meant that she cared about me. It made what I was about to do both easier and more difficult. I squeezed her hand, released it and stood up, heading for the door. "I hope you can trust me when I tell you that I would never let anyone hurt you," I said, pausing at the door frame.

Bella nodded, though I knew she didn't know the depths to which I would go to keep her happy. "I do trust you and I believe you," she said, "but where are you going?"

"Alice can stay with you, I need to go take care of something," I said and gave her a forced smile. "If you have any questions, I'm sure she can answer them." Without waiting for Alice's agreement, I left the room and headed across the hall to Tanya's room.

I knocked roughly on the door, hard enough to shake the frame. It quickly opened and I found myself staring down into her bouncy red-blonde curls. Her eyes were narrowed with anger, she had obviously been listening in on our conversation with Bella._ "I should have known Alice would have seen her leaving,"_ Tanya thought grumpily. _"You are both obsessed with that stupid girl."_

I grabbed Tanya's arm and began walking down the stairs. When she struggled, I pulled harder on her arm and brought her face close to mine. "Do you really want to make a scene in the house?" I whispered angrily. "I'm doing you a favor by taking this conversation outside."

She made an ugly face, but stopped struggling. Her thoughts were mutinous as we made our way through the house and out into the forest. The thoughts ranged from anger at Bella for talking to anger at me for rejecting her to anger at Alice for seeing Bella leave and stopping it. There wasn't a single remorseful thought in her and it made me sick to my stomach to see how much hate she had stored up inside. It was like I had never really known her, only thought that I had.

The moment we were far enough out of earshot of the house I stopped and let go of her arm. I didn't particularly care to touch her any longer. "Stay away from Bella, do you hear me?" I said as slowly and coldly as I could manage. "If I find out that you whispered one word in her ear, I will tear you limb from limb."

She blanched, stepping away from me as though she couldn't believe what I was saying. "You wouldn't hurt me, not over a pathetic little thing like her!" Tanya pointed to the house, her face contorted with anger and jealousy.

"I can and will," I promised. "This has to stop, Tanya. We were friends once and I beg you to remember that. I've rejected you as gently as I could manage, but this is the last time it will come up. I don't have feelings for you, as hard as I've tried over the years. I've let you try to win me over, but it has to stop. I've realized that I am never going to return your interest, and you have to let this go. I know you hate to lose, but this is over."

Her pretty face twisted into a mask of frustration and anger. "Why did it have to be her? Why couldn't it have been me?" she cried, anguish filling her amber gold eyes.

My heart wrenched a bit at the loss in her eyes, but I stood firm. Tanya had hurt Bella and that wasn't something I was willing to forgive quite yet. "I don't know why it was her," I admitted, giving Tanya the honest answer that she didn't deserve. "I would never in a million years have believed it myself. I guess the old saying is true: You don't choose who you fall in love with."

Her face crumpled even further. "Love? Do you love her?"

I was taken aback, but then I realized that the truth had finally slipped out, surprising even me with it. I had never expected it to happen in front of Tanya, but it had and I couldn't and wouldn't take it back. "I never had a choice," I said.

"I will never forgive you for this. You could have had me and you chose this... this little nobody!" Tanya spat at me, the words filled with both longing and misery. She turned away from me and ran into the forest, letting the long branches of the trees engulf her.

As I watched her sprint away from me, her legs pushing her ever deeper into the forest, I couldn't help but be grateful to her for her part in the events of the afternoon. Yes, she had tried to take my reason for being away from me, but in that choice she had made me face the fact that Bella had become the center of my world. Alice's vision had come true. I was in love with Bella Swan. The best part was that I could actually see her returning my feelings. I wouldn't rush her though. I was prepared to take things nice and slow.

With both a heavy heart and one full of love, I headed back toward the house, eager to return to the side of the girl I loved.


	7. Chapter six: Blood

**A/N: **This chapter is just a little bit on the short side, but I felt it was also complete the way it was. The next couple of chapters tend to fluctuate, but mostly they are on the longer side. With that said... enjoy!

**Chapter Six: Blood**

"Hey, Edward!"

Alice poked her head around the door to my room, a grin blossoming on her pretty face. I set down the book I was reading and eagerly welcomed her in. She danced across the room to my side, sitting on the sofa beside me. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" I asked, raising one eyebrow in a questioning look.

"Well, I wanted to extend you an invitation," she said brightly. "Jasper and I had been talking about going out on a hunt, mostly because we had nothing planned this afternoon and it's been about a week since his last hunt and you know how he gets. Anyway, we were talking and Bella happened to be sketching in the living room and overheard us, so she asked if she could come along. Apparently she hasn't gone since we took her last and she has been getting agitated. I had the bright idea that you could come along as well and it could be like a double date."

It had been almost a month since Tanya had tricked Bella into almost leaving us. A month since I had come to the realization that I was very much in love with Bella. During that time she had shown us all what kind of immortal she would be. She had taken up drawing and painting, turning her room into an art studio. Alice had told me that she was painting landscapes, that her art seemed to get better every day. She had also taken to reading every book in Carmen and Eleazar's small library. It seemed that she couldn't stand a moment of laziness, of boredom. She wanted to learn, to do and she learned quickly. All in all, it had been a very, very long twenty eight days.

Perhaps it felt longer to me because Bella didn't seem inclined to take our relationship any further than letting me hold her hand or put an arm around her shoulder. It seemed that she had pushed her art and studies into the forefront of her wants and I had fallen by the wayside. I wasn't trying to push her, of course, but it felt like we had come to a painful crawl. It was made worse by the knowing glances Alice and Jasper kept throwing me. I knew the moment she had mentioned Bella's name that she was trying to help me and play matchmaker, but I was worried that she might ruin everything.

"Does Bella know that I would be joining you?" I asked, realizing that Alice's mind was completely blank. She was hiding something from me.

She shrugged, as though it didn't matter. "The two of you are friends now, right? Why would she mind spending an afternoon in your company?"

The word _friends_ sent a spear of pain through me. Yes, we were friends. Unfortunately, that was all we were, and it didn't look like that was going to change anytime soon. "What aren't you telling me?" I demanded.

Her shoulders sagged and she sighed. "Bella told me that she misses you. She said you haven't spent a lot of time around her this past week and she wondered whether she had done something wrong. I didn't tell her you were coming because I didn't know if you were going to agree to come. Why have you been ignoring her?"

I sighed and moved a hand to my face, gently massaging my temples as though I had a headache. The truth was that I was worried I was coming off too strong. She had put barriers between us, and so I had pulled back. Being around Bella was so much more confusing now that I knew my own feelings for her. I was frightened to do anything that might make her uncomfortable with me, or push me away. In doing so, I had hurt her feelings.

"I thought that maybe she needed a break from me. I've been at her side every minute since I realized I loved her and I was worried that I was coming on too strong. Now I've gone and done the opposite," I groaned. Why could I never do right by her?

Alice put a hand on my shoulder. "Edward, she cares about you, more I think than even she knows. Just let her set the pace, don't try to do it for her. She isn't the kind of girl who wants people to make decisions for her. So come hunting with us, show her that you want to be around her. When we get back you can play the piano for her... I know you are done with your new song."

I hesitated. I hadn't actually played the finished song for anyone yet, though I'm sure everyone had heard bits and pieces of it as they had been in and out of the house over the past month. I had never put as much work into a composition as I had put into this song for Bella. It was a sweeping, romantic piece, full of crescendos and soft whispering moments. I wanted to play it for Bella, but I was worried about the reception.

"Do you think she will like it?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

Alice squeezed my shoulder and stood up. "I know she will. Now, let's go find some bears."

***

The air was icy cold as it whipped past my face. I reveled in the feeling, knowing that nothing in the world could ever feel as invigorating as running through the snowy woods. Soon enough the weather would change and we would start getting rain instead of snow, but near the end of April there was still enough powder on the ground and in the air to cover Denali in a blanket of white.

I looked to the right and saw Bella running beside me, a peaceful smile on her face. Ever since she had written a letter to Charlie a few weeks ago, she had seemed much more content with her lot in life. She was thriving, blossoming, and all of us were drawn to her. Well, everyone except Tanya. My old friend was ignoring Bella to the point that she would leave a room if Bella entered it. Kate just ignored her sister and insisted to Bella to do the same, but my love's tender feelings couldn't allow her to accept that someone she didn't really know could be so cruel to her.

I frowned a bit as we came to a stop in a heavy wooded area. I could smell a group of bears to the east, but that wasn't the thought that occupied my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about how Tanya's treatment of Bella was affecting both of the girls. Tanya was so angry, so unforgiving, that she was pushing away the family that loved her in the process. As for Bella, she was so confused that I would often find her sitting in the window seat in the family room, staring off into the distance with a discouraged look on her face. I wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault, but then I would have to explain my feelings for her and I wasn't ready to do that yet. All I could do for her was tell her that Tanya was jealous and leave it at that. It wasn't exactly the best answer, but it was the only one I had to give.

"Edward, are you all right?" Bella asked, stepping to my side and putting a hand on my arm. "You look unhappy."

I forced a smile and placed my hand over hers, squeezing it gently. "It isn't anything that you need to worry about," I said, "Besides, I thought you were thirsty. Why are you concentrating on me instead of your needs?"

Bella's free hand fluttered to her throat, as if she had forgotten about her thirst. "I guess I just want my friends to be happy," she said with a shy sort of smile. I watched as she bounded away, heading east toward the group of bears I had smelled earlier.

I smiled as I followed her, enjoying the way her body moved so fluidly. Never before had I seen a vampire with more grace or elegance. Bella's body stirred me in ways that I had never felt before. I muffled a groan as I tried not to think about parts of me stirring. It had happened all too frequently lately; yet another reason I had chosen to spend more time away from her.

"You desire her," Jasper said matter-of-factly in my ear, keeping pace with me as we followed Bella.

I sighed. It was impossible to keep any kind of emotion hidden from Jasper. This wasn't one that I particularly wanted to share, however. "I do," I said shortly. My mind was reeling though, daydreams of Bella unclothed in my arms making my body shiver with anticipation. My daydreams had gotten much more graphic of late, and I couldn't seem to keep them contained anymore.

"She cares for you, Edward," Jasper said, a rare smile flitting across his scarred face, "more than even she can understand. She desires you as well. I just thought you would be interested in knowing that." He dashed off then, catching up to Alice and taking her hand.

I thought about what he said and knew that he wouldn't lie to me. His thoughts had been entirely open and honest with me. I had seen what he had felt coming from Bella whenever she was around me. The knowledge put a smile on my face, and I practically hummed as I caught up to Bella and the others. I was going to take Alice's advice as well and play my song for Bella. Maybe then I could open up to her and tell her exactly how I felt.

I reached the others just as Bella took down the first bear. It was a monstrous beast, nearly ten feet high, but she didn't even struggle with it. I watched as she rolled it onto its back and broke his neck with one swift movement. I felt my groin tighten with lust as her perfect lips and teeth came down and ripped him open. Everything Bella did made me want her more, even this.

I watched with surprise as she suddenly dropped the bear, whose blood had barely been touched, and looked toward the north, determination and severe hunger in her eyes. Alice gasped beside me, a vision filling her head. There was a human hunter out there, one who was poaching in the national forest. Too bad for him that his sentence was going to be death... carried out by our Bella.

"Bella, no!" I shouted, but I was too late. She was off like a shot, heading in the direction of the hunter. She had caught the scent of his blood, and absolutely nothing was going to stop her until she had tasted it.

Alice, Jasper and I quickly gave chase. We rushed through the trees, following both the scent of the hunter and Bella's own unique scent. "Dammit, why weren't we more careful?" Alice cursed angrily, her arms pumping at her sides as she gave it all she could.

"This hunter is poaching illegally; he shouldn't even be out here," I reminded her through gritted teeth, "we shouldn't have had to think about humans on this land."

"None of that matters," Jasper reprimanded us, "she will never forgive herself if we don't stop her... trust me, I know."

I pushed myself even harder at his words, knowing his past experiences and how well he knew Bella's emotions. I couldn't let this destroy her: not if I could stop it. I raced behind her, feeling her hair brush my face in the moment before I tackled her to the ground. "Bella, stop," I said, hoping that I could keep her down until the other two reached us, "You don't want to do this."

"Let me go, I'm thirsty," she snarled at me, her eyes half crazed in her need to get to the human blood that was less than a mile away. She pushed at me, but thankfully Alice and Jasper fell to the ground beside us and lent me their strength.

"No, I can't let you go," I whispered, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her tightly into my embrace. I trusted Alice and Jasper to keep hold of her hands, but I meant what I had said: I couldn't let her go. "Bella, if you kill this man, you will never forgive yourself. Don't make the mistake that I did with you, don't steal away someone's life."

I put a hand on her face, stroking her cheek as I looked into her eyes. They were no longer crazed or determined to flee. Instead I saw in them regret and shame. "Take me away from here, make me run," she croaked, even though her body was straining toward the blood her body so desperately craved.

Alice and Jasper helped me pull her to her feet, and then I pulled her onto my back, just as I had the day I had taken her away from the school and into the forest with me. The difference was that now I was trying to save her instead of destroy her. I don't think that was lost on Bella either, because she buried her face in my shoulder and clung to my hands that held her in place.

We all ran as fast as we could away from the scent of the hunter. It was just our bad luck that the wind had shifted when it did, giving Bella the scent that she had never caught before. I was just grateful that we had been able to catch her before she made a mistake that would have killed her. I would never have forgiven myself if she had done it. It was my job to protect her, and that included her emotional state as well.

"Thank you," she whispered in my ear, still clinging to me, "thank you for making me leave. I could have killed that man..." I squeezed her hand to let her know that I was listening, but she seemed to have said all that she was able to say for the time being.

When we were well out of range of the hunter, we stopped and I let Bella down. She didn't let go of my hands though. She held them so tightly I was worried that she might snap one of my fingers off. "Bella, you can relax just a little. I promise that I won't let anything happen to you," I told her, squeezing her fingers a bit. Her grip loosened, but she didn't let go.

"Edward... you were right," she began, her eyes filled with a sadness that I had never seen there before. "The scent of human blood is so much stronger than I thought. I have no idea how you stopped with me, but I do know why you attacked me in the first place. I didn't think I could ever really forgive you, but now..." she trailed off.

I pulled her into my arms, tight against my chest. She willingly came forward, burying her face in my cotton shirt. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm just glad we were able to stop you," I whispered into her hair.

"Bella, you had more self-control than any newborn I've ever known. I know you didn't leave on your own, but you didn't fight us when we turned you away from the hunter. I am so proud of you," Alice said, making her way to our side and putting a hand on the back of Bella's head.

"Thank you," Bella whispered. She began to shake in my arms, sobs wracking through her body as she held onto me. I didn't blame her; she had been through an emotional mess lately and this hunter incident was the cherry on top of a disaster sundae. I just held her as tight as I could, kissing the top of her head.

Alice gave me a knowing smile, but she didn't say anything, she just stroked Bella's hair tenderly. "I think I can smell a group of elk to the south. Were you still thirsty?" she asked her, voice as soft as silk.

Bella nodded against my chest, clinging tightly to me. "Just stay close to me okay?" she begged me. "Just in case."

"I won't let you hurt yourself in any way, I promise," I said softly, my lips brushing the top of her head yet again. She didn't seem to mind though, a fact which made my heart soar. "So lets go and get you some sustenance, okay?"

Bella reluctantly removed herself from my arms, a look of regret in her eyes. "Edward, I..." she began, but trailed off, uncertainty obvious in the way she bit her lip and looked away from me.

"What is it? You can tell me anything," I reminded her, brushing her cheek with my fingers. I was desperate to know what she was thinking, but I didn't want to force her. After all, it had been a rough afternoon.

"It isn't important, we can talk about it back at home," she said softly. She then looked to Alice. "Are you guys ready to go again?"

When Alice nodded, the two girls took off into the woods, heading for the scent of the elk. I was left standing in the clearing with Jasper, unsure of what had just happened between Bella and I.


	8. Chapter Seven: Changes

**A/N: **I actually have a 5,000 word alternate version of the chapter that I wrote back when I still only had the first two chapter of this story written. You can tell that it's from a time when I had a vastly different plot in mind, but it is still close to my heart. Perhaps when the story is over I'll post it at the end as a "this is what could have been" chapter. Anyway, at this point in the story things begin to change and evolve, leading into the climax. I hope you enjoy it!

**Chapter Seven: Changes**

"So, are you sure you don't want to come with us?" Kate asked, looking at Bella with hopeful eyes, "We won't be back for about three days and I'm going to miss you. I really wish you would come."

Bella smiled but shook her head. "You need some time with your sisters and I would just be in the way. Besides, I could use some time on my own to figure some things out."

At those words Kate flicked a glance at me, and her thoughts rolled around the idea of Bella and I as a couple. She smiled slyly at me and sent a wink in my direction. "I'll miss you, but you may be right. I think some time alone is just what the doctor ordered."

"I wish you luck," Bella said with a smile, "take down a couple of bears for me, alright?" Kate just laughed and hugged Bella tight.

I was looking forward to having the house just to ourselves. I was hoping that Bella would finally talk to me about the events of a week before. Not just the hunter she almost killed, but the words she had almost said. When I had brought it up later that day, she had brushed it off, saying that it hadn't been important. That brush off had made me decide not to play her song for her. I wasn't sure how she would take it. I didn't have that hesitancy anymore though; I was planning to whisk her off to the music room the minute our cousins were out the door. I was hoping that having a mostly empty house would make Bella more receptive to my romantic overtures.

Kate came over and gave me a tight hug. "Treat her good, okay? I want to keep her around for awhile."

"Me too," I whispered in her ear, squeezing her tight before releasing her. She beamed at me and squeezed my hand before bounding out the door.

Irina didn't stop in front of me, she just followed her sister out the door, her thoughts haughty. I just shook my head. Irina had followed Tanya's lead in her dislike of Bella and in her anger with me. Irina felt that I had mistreated Tanya by leading her on and then parading Bella in front of her face. I had tried to explain the truth to her, but I had long since given up. Tanya of course, had to share a parting shot before leaving the house.

"Do watch out for Bella," she said, with a look of mock concern in Bella's direction, "we wouldn't want to lose any members of the neighboring towns, would we?"

"That was uncalled for, hija," Carmen said sharply, coming up behind Tanya. "You should apologize to Bella. We were all young once and made mistakes. At least she was able to stop herself before she hurt someone."

Tanya threw Bella a smirk. "I'm sorry, Bella. Would that we could all learn from your self-control. After all, loss of self-control is why you are here with us, isn't it?"

Before Carmen could say anything else, Tanya flew out of the house, chasing after her sisters. "I'm sorry for her hurtful words," Carmen said sadly to Bella, "she doesn't like competition, and you are such a pretty girl." She shook her head and then left the house, following the others out.

"You all have a good time," Eleazar said, smiling at us, "It will do you good to have some time alone." He kissed Bella's cheek, smiled at me, and then headed out after his wife and adopted children.

Bella turned on me, her eyebrows knitted in confusion. "Why does everyone keep mentioning us having time alone? Are Alice and Jasper going somewhere too?"

I shook my head and laughed, sliding my arm around her shoulders. "No. I think they all mean time without Tanya. I think everyone knows how difficult things have been for you lately. Carmen came up with this long hunting trip to give you a break."

She beamed up at me. "That was really nice of them. So, do you have any plans for us?"

Us. That one word made my heart soar with anticipation. I looked down into her ruddy red-orange eyes and felt my breath catch in my throat at the promises in their depths. She looked so beautiful that if my heart had still beat, it would have stopped. "Well, I do have a few ideas," I admitted, leading her toward the music room.

"Oh? Anything special?" she asked eagerly.

"A few things, but one very special surprise to start with," I said mysteriously.

Bella laughed, "Oh, really? A surprise? Will I like it?"

"I genuinely hope so," I said, opening the door to my favorite room in the house. "Now, come sit in this window seat and listen. Do you think you can do that?"

Her eyes were curious, but she nodded. "You know, I seem to remember Alice saying something about you playing the piano. I guess I've just discovered where you disappear to everyday."

"You may have heard me playing lately and not even realized it was me," I teased, "but I have been working on something special and I want you to be the first to hear it."

Bella settled against the window, her posture expectant as she leaned toward me, her eyes filled with excitement. When I was sure that I had her full attention, I turned to the piano and began to play. The music began soft and sweet, like a lullaby. Slowly, very slowly, it transformed into something much more rich. As I played, I could see Bella the way she had been on the mountain during our first afternoon together, all shimmery and smiles. I saw her beam as she let me pull her into my arms. I saw her hair spread about her as we made love on a feather bed. The last, of course, was a daydream and not a memory, but that didn't change how real it felt. The music just took me away, into all of my dreams and fantasies, hopes and desires. It was easily the best piece I had ever written.

"You wrote this?" she asked breathlessly the moment the last notes faded from the room.

I turned toward her, my chest tight with anxiety. I wanted her to like the song. No. To love it. I had written the song for her, inspired by her and with dreams of her playing in my head. If she didn't like it... I would be heartbroken. "Yes," I said simply, thinking that I would tell her of her role in it after she told me what she thought.

"Edward... it's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. How did you come up with it?" she asked, leaving the window seat and coming to sit beside me as though she couldn't bear to be away from me for a moment longer. Of course, that was what I wanted to think so it most likely wasn't the truth.

"Honestly?" I said with a soft smile, "It was all you."

Her eyes grew wide and she brought a hand to her mouth, covering a gasp of surprise. "Me? How could I inspire such a... a..." she paused, trying to find the right word, "such a masterpiece?"

I laughed lightly and leaned forward, brushing my fingers against her alabaster face. "Because you, my dear, are a masterpiece," I told her honestly. "Every moment I have spent with you has inspired that song. My heart just couldn't hold the beauty and it spilled out into that composition."

She flicked her eyes up to mine, a stronger, deeper emotion shining in them. Her hand shook as she dropped it into her lap, but her eyes didn't leave mine. "What are you saying, Edward?"

She was pushing me for the words that I had been holding in, and I knew that I couldn't hold them in much longer. Instead of blurting it out and embarrassing both of us, I held out my hands to her, and she willingly placed hers in mine. "Let's go somewhere more private," I suggested, "I don't really want this conversation overheard by prying ears."

Bella rolled her eyes. "Alice has already seen how it plays out anyway. What's the point?"

I laughed and pulled her to her feet, bringing her just inches away from my body. "She is kind of meddlesome. If she thinks things aren't going exactly right, she will interfere," I warned her. "If we can get some distance between us, she might have a more difficult time interfering."

Bella smiled at me, a perfect trust in her red-orange eyes. "Okay, you lead and I'll follow."

***

Half an hour later, Bella and I reached the summit of the mountain and I led her into the little snow covered meadow where we had spent our first afternoon together. It felt like a good place to be, the right place to be to have this conversation. I didn't really know if Bella was emotionally stable enough yet to discuss a possible future together, but I couldn't wait another six to eight months. I wanted to be with her now, and I would take it as slowly as I needed to. I had three days, after all, and nowhere in the world I would rather be.

"So, do you think this is far enough away from the house?" Bella teased as soon as we walked into the clearing, "because I think another half hour run would be more beneficial."

I laughed, pulling her into my arms once again. I buried my face in her soft and fragrant hair. It was so beautiful, the color of mahogany. I absolutely loved touching it. "This should be fine," I whispered in her ear, "besides, I have you right where I want you."

"Oh?" she asked saucily, pulling back and looking me in the eye, "and exactly where would that be? Alaska? You've had me here for months, remember?"

"No, Bella," I said seriously, "I meant here in my arms."

Her eyes grew soft and so did her body. She practically melted in my arms at my words. It was a good sign that she returned my feelings. "So, you have me here, what do you plan to do with me now?" she asked, all traces of playfulness gone and replaced with something tender.

I moved a hand to her face, cupping her cheek in my palm. "For starters, I want to know what you are thinking at this very moment, because I don't think I've ever been happier and I need to know if we are on the same page."

A small smile played over her lips as she spoke. "Edward, I never thought I would find happiness in this new life, especially with you. The thing is, I don't think I could be happier. I'm just so worried that it's all going to disappear and you will have been a dream."

"I'm not a dream," I promised, stroking her cheek with my thumb, "and I'm not going anywhere."

Her perfect pink lips parted, a look of wonder in her eyes. "I've been hoping for this for so long. Ever since that first day that we came up here to the mountain. I just never thought that you would feel the same way about me. I couldn't even let myself dream it."

"Bella," I whispered, my fingers brushing her lips, "I want to try something. Will you stay very still and let me try?" Her mouth formed a curious 'o' but she nodded. "Good, now just stay perfectly still."

"Edward, you look so hungry," she whispered, caressing the hollows under my eyes eyes and my cheekbones, as though checking for the normal signs of hunger and not finding them.

"What?" I asked, unsure of what she meant.

"Your eyes... it looks like you want to swallow me up. I don't understand," she said and leaned slightly away from me, the first stirrings of confusion clouding her pretty face.

I had a sudden realization that she could see my desire, could sense it. It was with that realization that another one came hot on its heels. "Bella, have you ever been in a relationship before?" I asked curiously, holding her at arms length so that I could look into her eyes.

She shook her head. "I've never even been on a date," she said seriously, "why?"

That was it. She didn't recognize desire because she had never had the opportunity to see it in anyone before. I decided to go with a truth that would be easier to explain. "Bella, the hunger that you see? It means that I'm attracted to you, that I desire you. Do you understand?"

A flicker of unease passed through her eyes, and I could sense that she was going to flee at any moment. Instead of holding her still, I dropped my arms, allowing her to move away if that was what she needed. I wasn't going to rush this, no matter how long it took.

"Edward, I..." she began, her voice as shaky as her hands, "I don't know if I can do this. I just feel... I feel like I'm going to fly apart at the seams. I don't understand all these feelings."

"I'm not going to push you," I said gently, holding my hands in front of me so that she could see them. I knew how difficult this must be for her, especially since her newborn senses were still a little out of control. "I can wait for however long you need me to. When you feel ready, you can come back to me, okay?"

Bella nodded and I watched her take a deep breath, trying to ground herself and her emotions. I could tell that she wanted this, to have a physical relationship with me as well as an emotional one. The problem was that her emotions were so out of control that it was hard for her to focus on her wants when her body was so certain of its needs. I knew that I would wait if I had to, but I really believed that she could pull herself together enough to give herself what she wanted. I was just glad that what she wanted was me.

I watched as she took deep even breaths, closing her eyes in an attempt to shut out everything else and focus on what was at hand. It seemed like I watched her for hours, but I'm certain that it was not even fifteen minutes before her eyes opened again and focused on me. She took one step toward me and then another, her smile growing with every step. By the time she was back in my arms, a full blown grin spread across her face. "That wasn't so hard," she said, obviously proud of herself, "I think I can do this."

"Good," I said seriously, "because I'm going to try to kiss you now and I'd like it if you could stay still for a moment."

Her body shuddered in my arms, and she dropped her eyes from mine in her nervousness. "Why would you want to do that?" she asked, her voice shaky again.

I chucked her under the chin, forcing her to look back up into my eyes. "I want to do it, because I think we will both enjoy it," I told her with a small smile, "and because I've been wanting to kiss you for months."

Bella wet her lips nervously, her pale pink tongue sliding over the satin perfection of her lips. I couldn't stop what happened next. A groan rolled through my chest at the sight of her tongue and I slid one hand to the back of her neck holding her in place. "Bella..." I groaned, all of the desire I felt spilling into my voice.

Her body tensed, but she didn't move away. She just uttered one word: "Please."

"Yes," I breathed, my mouth now just inches away from her lips, "yes..."

I couldn't wait a moment longer. My lips descended on hers, touching as gently as I could manage. I was terrified of scaring her away, so I had to make the moment as perfect as possible. I moved my lips tenderly over hers, slow and filled with all the love inside of me. I wanted more, wanted to give her more, but I forced myself to keep my kiss tender and loving, saving the passion for when she was more comfortable.

I was about to pull away when I felt her hands unlatch themselves from around my waist and make their way tentatively up my chest. They locked around my neck and pulled her body tighter and closer to mine. I bit back a groan, but clutched her waist tightly. I was sure she could feel the evidence of my desire, but when she didn't pull away, I figured she didn't care.

Finally, regretfully, I pulled away. It was gratifying to see the way she swayed toward me, as though she wasn't ready to relinquish the feeling of the kiss. I could feel inside of me the burning need to just back her up against a tree and take her. In less than a second I could have us both naked and moaning in each others arms. I realized how badly I wanted that, how badly I wanted her. It was as though all of my careful plans for courtship and marriage were just a buffer I had concocted against Tanya's advances. I wanted nothing more than to feel Bella's silky skin against my own. Marriage be damned.

Bella looked up into my eyes and gasped. "You still want me?" she asked, as though this surprised her.

I pulled her tight against me again, letting her feel how badly I wanted her. "You say that like it's a shock," I teased, pressing kisses along her throat.

"But... that kiss..." she murmured, his voice a soft sigh as I continued kissing every bit of her that I could reach.

"What about it?" I asked, running my tongue along the shape of her ear.

"It was so restrained, so soft. I just thought you were giving me what I wanted," she admitted.

I paused in the act of running my fingers up under the hem of her shirt. "What is it that you want?" I asked, more curious about that than I had ever been about anything else.

She paused and I felt as though my entire world was silent, still, waiting for the words that I needed to hear so desperately. "You, Edward. All I want is you," she whispered, dropping her head into my shoulder. "For months you have been all I've wanted. Even when I felt I was supposed to be angry with you for taking me away from the life I knew. Even then I took notice of how beautiful you were and how much I wanted to be around you."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I whispered hoarsely, bringing her back against my chest, but this time so that I could hold her and nothing more. "I was going crazy thinking that you blamed me, that you hated me. Why didn't you say something?"

I heard tears in her voice when she was finally able to speak again, but I felt they were tears of joy and longing, not to sadness. "I couldn't say anything. You were such a beautiful dream that I couldn't imagine it actually coming true."

I dropped my forehead to hers. "I felt exactly the same way. I've been so scared that if I told you how I felt, I might scare you off. I couldn't bare to lose the closeness we were gaining by telling you how desperately I wanted to be with you in every way," I said, my voice thick and hoarse with an emotion more overwhelming than I had ever felt. If I had thought I loved her before, it was nothing to how I was feeling now.

"You don't have to be scared," she whispered, bringing a hand up to stroke the side of my face with gentle fingers, "I want you as badly as you want me... maybe more."

I doubted that, but I wasn't going to say anything. If she thought that her wants and desires exceeded my own, I would let her believe it. Knowing how badly I loved, wanted and desired her... well, it was just impossible. "I'm just afraid of taking advantage of you. Your actions are still governed by your emotions and I don't want to make you do something that you will regret," I whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

Bella pulled back, a focused look in her eyes. "I want to be with you. You aren't taking advantage of me, I promise," she said. She then leaned up on her tip toes and pressed her lips forcefully against mine.

This wasn't the same kind of kiss as the first one: it was as different as day and night. She was in control this time, and it was her desires that drove the pace. I groaned into her mouth and moved my hand to the back of her neck, crushing her silky hair between my hand and her skin. Her lips moved over mine, searching, hungry. I decided to give her what she wanted. I parted her lips and slipped my tongue inside her mouth. Damn, she tasted good. Like honey and wildflowers and sunshine. The best part was that she was all mine, totally and completely mine.

She fisted her hands in my shirt, almost tearing the soft fabric of the tee-shirt in her need to get closer to me. I obliged eagerly, grinding my body against hers with a need that I couldn't deny. She moaned, a delicious sound that sent shivers through my body. It meant she was enjoying this as much as I was. I took it as a good sign and decided to take it a step further. I needed to touch her bare skin, to feel the satin texture under my fingers.

Slowly, I moved my free hand from her back down to her waist. The soft blue wool sweater she was wearing was thin and it offered no resistance to my searching fingers. I quickly found the hemline and moved my fingers up and under, splaying my hand against the small of her back. It was as I knew it would be, smooth and perfect skin. I moved my fingers around in tiny circles, mimicking the movements my tongue was tracing around her own.

It was too much for her, she gasped and pulled away from me, her eyes wild with so many emotions that I couldn't name them all. "Wait," she whispered, putting her hands on my shoulders to keep me away.

I was breathing hard, so aroused that I was nearly out of my mind. "Bella? Did I do something wrong?" I asked, forcibly bringing myself back down to earth. It was hard with a girl as perfect as Bella in my arms.

"I can't... it's just too much," she whispered hoarsely, her breathing just as hard as mine.

I stopped breathing entirely at those words. She couldn't possibly meant what I thought she did. "I'm sorry if I moved too fast," I said softly, stepping back away from her to give her space, "I didn't mean to upset you."

Bella stepped toward me, refusing to let me walk away. "You don't understand," she said, a light laugh in her breathy voice. "If we keep going I'm not going to want to stop."

I laughed, pulling her back into my arms, her head resting against my chest. "I do understand," I said softly, "These emotions are so strong that they are hard to contain."

"I've never been kissed before, I didn't realize the emotions could be so overwhelming," she sighed, burying her face in my shoulder. I smiled down at her, my love for her growing with her admission.

"It was my first kiss as well," I admitted.

Bella brought her head up, her eyes accusing. "I've seen Tanya kiss you, and Alice told me that she kisses you all the time. You don't have to lie to me."

I chuckled. "Tanya may kiss me, but did you see me kiss her back? Have you ever seen me seek her out for a kiss?"

Bella thought about that. "I'm not sure what the difference is," she admitted.

I put a hand to her cheek, my thumb stroking her bottom lip with slow and sensuous movements. "I'm not interested in Tanya. I've never shared, nor have I ever wanted to share, an afternoon of this sort with anyone but you." I leaned down and pressed the softest of all soft kisses to her lips, letting mine linger for just a moment on hers. When I pulled away I saw that her face had crumpled, and her lips were quivering.

"Edward..." she whispered tearfully, her voice full of so much emotion that it speared my long dormant heart.

"I'm sorry, I upset you again, didn't I?" I cursed myself, frustrated that I couldn't do anything right by Bella. If I were smart I would leave her and let her be happy, but I didn't think I was strong enough to do that. I loved her, but I needed her, too.

Bella dropped her head, her forehead resting on my shoulder yet again. Not for the first time, I thought about how perfect she fit me in every way. Her head just nestled so perfectly against me. "You didn't upset me," she whispered, her voice muffled by my shoulder.

"What about the tears? You look upset," I said softly, stroking her back in what I hoped was a soothing and calming manner.

"I'm just overwhelmed," she told me, turning her head slightly so that she could look up at me and still lean on me.

"We can go back to the house, we don't have to talk about all of this now..." I began, but Bella's head shot up, her eyes wide with fear.

"No! If we go back now I'll never get my courage up again," she said desperately, her hands grasping my shirt again, as if scared that I would walk away from her.

"Get your courage up for what?" I asked, confused by her words. I didn't think she and I were quite on the same page, yet again. I wondered if it would always be this way between us, that I would never really understand her because I couldn't hear her thoughts. I hated that; I wanted us to be close and to be able to share everything. I was worried that maybe I had pushed things too far too fast, thereby ruining everything. Of course, Bella surprised me yet again.

"Just stop talking," she muttered, throwing herself at me again.

In that action I knew exactly where her thoughts had been going. Earlier, when she said that she wouldn't be able to stop, I had assumed she wanted to stop to preserve her chastity. I hadn't realized that she was just taking the time to mentally prepare herself to actually follow up on her feelings of desire. She wanted all of me and I wanted to give it to her.

Her lips were firm and strong, desperate for everything I could give her and more. I traced her mouth with the tip of my tongue, teasing and tempting her. Her growl of need and frustration was my reward. Smiling I pulled her closer, slipping my tongue into her mouth. It was obviously what she had wanted because she practically purred with satisfaction. Suddenly, I felt the need to be closer to her, to feel her against and around me. I pulled away from her, long enough to whisper: "Forgive me," and then I slipped my hands down her back to her bottom, hitching her legs up off the ground and wrapping them around my waist. Bella gasped, but when she tightened her legs and brought me even closer, I knew this was going to happen and I didn't have the strength to stop it.

I strode across the clearing, carrying her to a specific destination. When we crashed into the tree, we both laughed breathily into each others mouths. I pressed her into the tree, grinding my arousal into her welcoming softness. Bella's hands dug into my hair as my mouth left hers, moving down her neck with soft kisses and careful scrapings of my teeth against her sensitive skin. "Edward..." she moaned, her head falling to the side to give me better access.

I didn't respond, I was much too busy lavishing attention to every inch of her exposed skin. When my lips reached the neck of her sweater, I thanked Alice for putting Bella in a soft and stretchy wool. Ever so gently, I drew the material down, exposing the top of her left breast. I dropped a kiss to the skin and felt Bella shudder in my arms. Leaning against a tree wasn't enough. I picked her up again and moved us to the ground. I didn't care about the snow and from the way Bella was kissing me again, I didn't think she cared much either.

It was so much more dangerous having her in a supine position. She wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me against her so that she could grind herself against me. I groaned into her mouth and rolled us over, letting her be on top so that she could have better access and give her a better opportunity to get what she wanted from me.

"I want you," she whispered against my lips, "I want this..."

I was about to respond when I heard a noise nearby. I quickly rolled us to our sides and sat up, my ears practically twitching as I listened to the sound of someone approaching."Bella, get up," I said quickly, the sensual mood of the afternoon quickly dissipating.

"But what...?" she asked, her eyes growing fearful at my forceful tone. I stood up, grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. She didn't have to wait long to discover what I already knew. We had company and they didn't exactly have good news for us.

"Edward, Bella!" Alice cried as she came flying into our view. It was obvious from the distressed look in her eyes that she hadn't wasted a moment in coming after us once she had had her vision. "I'm so sorry. I know how much you wanted time alone, but this can't wait!"

"Alice, what is it?" Bella asked, concern for her friend overriding any irritation that she might have felt at having our time together interrupted.

"It's Charlie..." Alice said, looking at me with wide and frightened eyes, "He's in trouble."


	9. Chapter Eight: Return

**A/N: **I know this chapter is short, but I promise that it will be the last short chapter! Also, thank you to everyone who has been reading and reviewing thus far. You guys seriously rock my world. :D

**Chapter Eight: Return**

"Bella, you are not coming with us," I said firmly, crossing my arms in front of my chest in a no-nonsense stance.

We were back at the house, trying to come up with our plan of action while Alice relayed what was going on to a frantic Carlisle back home. Bella was being stubborn, refusing to stay behind while we went and took care of the situation that was brewing back in Forks. I really could understand her wanting to go: it was her father after all, but there were so many reasons why it was a very bad idea.

"It's my father!" she cried again, slamming her hands down on the coffee table in front of her. It shattered into a thousand pieces, the glass flying from the force of the impact. She looked down at it and then back at her hands, reminded of how very strong she was.

"And you are only five months into this life!" I countered. "Do you really trust yourself not to hurt Charlie?"

Her face crumpled and she slumped back into the leather chair she was sitting in. She looked so defeated, like a heartbroken child. I wanted to reach out to her, but I knew that if I did, my resolve to keep her safe would crumble. "I can't stay behind and wait," Bella said, wrapping her arms around her waist, "I'll go crazy waiting for news. Besides, Alice said that other vampires are involved. What if you get hurt?"

"Bella, sweetheart," I said and knelt by her side, taking one of her hands in mine, "My family can protect Charlie. We can talk to this other coven and ask them to leave our area. It isn't an uncommon occurrence, so they most likely won't be offended."

"If it's so easy, why do you have to go back? Why can't the others take care of it there?" Bella demanded, her eyes dead serious.

I sighed and turned to Alice who was still on the phone. "If things get complicated, they need the three of us to help. I'll be able to read their thoughts and see if they will go peacefully, Alice will be able to tell if Charlie is in any more immediate danger, and Jasper can diffuse any situation with his handle on emotional climate."

"You can't leave me behind by myself," she said stubbornly. "That is my father, my family. Besides, if you leave me behind, I'll just follow you. You can't stop me from coming."

"She's right, you know," Jasper said quietly from the doorway of the living room. "She should come with us. She has more self-control than most newborns I've seen. If we are there to keep an eye on her, we have nothing to worry about."

Bella sat up in the chair, her eyes pleading with me. "Edward, please," she whispered, squeezing my hand.

My defenses fell apart the moment she whispered my name. I knew then that I couldn't leave her behind, and not just because she wanted to be with her father. I couldn't be without her.

I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Okay," I told her, "but you have to promise that you won't leave my side."

The grateful smile that spread across her face said more than mere words ever could. "Why would I want to be anywhere else?" she asked. Knowing that she wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with her put a smile on my face.

I kissed her lips as tenderly as I could manage. "Why indeed?" I said, and she beamed at me.

***

We decided not to take the car, figuring we could run much faster than we could drive. There would be no stops for gas, no worrying about highway patrol's pulling us over. It would take us almost a whole day to run, but we wouldn't get tired and we were determined not to rest until we reached Carlisle and Esme's home in Forks.

Before we left I had taken Bella aside, giving us as much privacy as possible.

"Before we head out, I think we need to talk about what happened this afternoon," I said the moment Bella's bedroom door shut behind us.

Her brows knit together in confusion. "Edward, we need to get to Forks, we can talk about this later."

I put my hands on her shoulders. "We have enough time for this," I said seriously, wishing she could feel how important this was to me.

Bella put a hand to my face, stroking it with soft fingers. "What are you worried about? Are you upset about being interrupted or..." she trailed off.

I closed my eyes and bent my head so I could touch my forehead to hers. Being interrupted was such a small part of it. Honestly, I was glad that Alice had come when she had. I might have done something that I regretted. I wanted to be more than Bella's mate: I wanted to be her husband. I wanted to be tied together the right way before we were intimate. Unfortunately I had let my head get away from me when I was around her. I wanted her too badly.

"No, it was probably good that Alice showed up when she did," I admitted, frowning a little as I thought about what might have happened.

"I don't think so," Bella said softly, her fingers tracing my lips in a seductive way. "I told you in the meadow that I wanted you, wanted to be with you in every way. I meant that."

I put my hand around her wrist and guided her palm up to my lips. She sighed as I placed a small kiss to the very center. "You know what you are to me, don't you?" I asked.

Her smile lit her entire face, softening it in the process. "What would that be?" she asked.

"The girl I've been looking my entire life to find," I said honestly.

Her eyes filled with pleasure and she leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss me. "I'm glad you found me. I can't imagine what my life would have been like without you."

I smiled, touched by that sentiment."Bella, I..."

The door to Bella's room opened, and Jasper stuck his head in, looking apologetic. "Alice said to tell you that she is sorry for sending me up here, but we need to get going. Carlisle suggested that something else might be going on in Forks in addition to the unwelcome visitors."

I was frustrated by the intrusion but knew that Alice wouldn't keep interrupting us unless it was absolutely necessary. "We will be down in a minute," I told him, trying to shoo him out the door so that I could finally confess my feelings to Bella.

"Sorry, Alice told me we couldn't wait. She said that all of this can wait until we reach Forks," Jasper said with a shrug, "You know Alice."

I sighed, took Bella's hand and followed Jasper downstairs. There was no arguing with Alice.

***

We didn't talk much as we ran through the forests and mountains of Alaska, Canada and down into Washington. What I had to say was for Bella's ears alone and I wasn't sure that she was ready to hear it. My stress over everything made the trip so much longer, mostly because I couldn't stop looking at Bella and wondering what was going on in her head.

When we finally reached the outskirts of Forks, I was exhausted. Not physically, because that wasn't really possible. I was emotionally and mentally exhausted from thinking and worrying about Bella and our still uncertain future together. The fact that we were running into an fairly unknown situation made it all that much worse. Of course, we knew what to expect thanks to Alice, but we didn't know anything about the players involved. That made things much more complicated.

"Edward, do you smell that?" Alice asked me, her face puckering in a distasteful frown.

We all stopped dead in our tracks, breathing in the strange scent in the woods around us. It was a scent we knew well, but one we hadn't come across often in the time we had been back in Washington. We had thought that the gene had long since died out. It looked like we were mistaken. "The wolves are out here," I said softly, a growl building in my chest, "Dammit, we may be too late."

"But..." Alice began, her eyes wide in confusion, "that was a long time ago and besides, I didn't see anything."

"What are you guys talking about?" Bella asked, looking between Alice and I, "What wolves?"

Alice pinned me down with a fierce look. "You never told her about the wolves and our treaty with them?"

I shifted uncomfortably under her glare. "You were the one who told me not to upset her. I didn't think it was something she needed to know about. Certainly not something to worry about! How was I supposed to know the gene was still active?"

"What gene? Are you keeping something from me?" Bella asked me, touching my arm and looking at me with wounded eyes.

I hesitated, knowing that we weren't exactly safe in these woods if the wolves were around. The moment they saw Bella they would know that the treaty was broken. I had no idea what would happen if we met face to face, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be good. "Not here, we need to get to the house, we can talk about it there," I said, looking away from Bella so that I wouldn't be tempted to do or say something foolish.

"I don't think that is going to be possible," Jasper said calmly.

"Why not?" I demanded in frustration. "We are just a few miles from the house."

"Well," Jasper said in a matter of fact tone, "they have us surrounded."


	10. Chapter Nine: Home

**Chapter Nine: Home**

"How many are there?" Alice asked me, looking around the forest with wide eyes. Her thoughts were frustrated and confused. She was unsure of why she couldn't see anything. We could smell the musky, woodsy, animal scent that permeated the air, but we still couldn't see the creatures. It was unnerving.

I listened intently and shook my head. "I've never heard anything like it. They have a hive mind... I can't quite tell how many there are," I admitted, feeling just as strange as Alice with this shortcoming. "I want to say three, but there could be four."

Bella tightened her grip on my arm, her fear a palpable thing. I put my hand on hers and squeezed. "Edward, you have to tell me what is going on. Why are we being surrounded?"

I looked down at her and saw the worry on her face. I put an arm around her shoulders and drew her into me. "Most likely this will be a warning to get off their land," I said. "We don't exactly get along with the Quileutes."

Bella's eyes widened. "The Native American tribe in the area? What do they have to do with us?"

I hesitated, unsure of whether or not I should tell her with the wolves about. I ended up not having a choice in the matter when four gigantic wolves sprang into the thicket. I held up my hands. "Wait, stop!" I cried out, stepping in front of Bella so I could protect her. She, of course, was having none of it. She peeked around my shoulder, curious about what was going on.

The wolves paced around us in a circle, snarling and howling at us. Their thoughts were angry, furious that we would be on their side of the line. The big black one, who I assumed was the leader, didn't take his eyes off of me. I watched as he stopped in his tracks and his body began to shake, shuddering as though he were about to rip apart. Within seconds he had transformed back into his human form and he stood before us, naked and unashamed.

"You are on our land, Cullens," Sam said angrily, his brow knitted as he frowned at us. "You know that the treaty forbids this."

"There has been an emergency, we were just passing through on our way home," I said calmly, trying to keep Bella from showing her face but failing miserably.

I knew the instant that Sam recognized her, because his thoughts were filled with shock and horror. His gaze shot to mine. "Bella Swan? You changed Chief Swan's daughter?! are you insane?!"

Alice shot forward, shielding Bella and I. "It was an accident," she said calmly. "We never meant to break the treaty."

"Yet you flaunt your betrayal in our face," Sam said, gesturing to Bella.

"What are they talking about?" Bella asked me, putting a hand on my shoulder to get my attention.

"I'll tell you when we get to the house," I whispered back at her. "Now keep quiet, you don't want to make the situation worse." Bella quieted down, but she squeezed my shoulder with all of her strength, causing me to wince. I was definitely going to hear about this when... if... we got away.

"Not only did you break the treaty, you killed the only child of the police chief in the city where your family lives. How can you tell us to overlook this breach of trust?" Sam demanded, stepping toward Alice and glaring at her as though he wanted to tear her to pieces.

"He didn't kill me," Bella said, angrily stomping around me and facing Sam on her own. I tried to hold her back but it was no use. "I may not understand what's going on, but I do know that I'm not dead."

"You are a soulless, bloodsucking leech," Sam said in disgust, practically spitting on her. "You kill innocent humans to stay alive."

"We only kill animals, and unless you are a vegetarian who never eats meat, you do too," Bella pointed out, "While I may not be human, I'm not dead either. How can you talk about things you obviously don't understand? It's clear that you have a bias against us, but have the Cullen's ever hurt you or anyone close to you? No. They don't hunt humans."

"If that is true, why are you here right now?" Sam pointed out. By this point I was ready to step in and rip the wolves to pieces, but Bella was stronger than I gave her credit for. She didn't even know what was going on and yet she argued in behalf of me and my family. If I hadn't already loved her, I would have fallen for her in that moment.

Bella hesitated, looking over her shoulder at me. I could tell that Sam's pointed question had rattled her and I was about to suggest that we all leave, but Bella surprised me yet again. She turned back to Sam, her fists clenched at her waist. "Haven't you ever made a mistake in the heat of the moment?" she asked. By the look on Sam's face, I knew she had struck a chord. His thoughts became an avalanche of pained memories, mostly focused around a pretty Makah girl named Emily. Well, well, well... apparently I wasn't the only one making mistakes.

Sam stepped back and decided to change his tactic. He went for questioning instead of accusing. "These blood suckers took you from your family, they took away the life you had. You aren't angry with them?"

Bella shook her head. "That is none of your business, you don't even know me or the life that I had before. How can you think to compare two lives that you know nothing about?"

Sam backed away even further, his thoughts a jumble of confusion. He looked at Bella, obviously unsure of what was going on. Finally he snapped a sharp command at the other wolves, bursting into his wolf form himself, and the four of them took off into the woods, heading back toward La Push.

Bella turned on me then, her eyes blazing with fury. "What was all that talk of a treaty? Why did they care that I'm one of you?"

Alice put a gentle hand on Bella's arm and turned her so that they could look into each others eyes. "Let's talk about this back at the house. I'm not sure I trust the wolves not to try and follow us."

Bella nodded, but shot a glare at me. "I expect the truth," she told me.

"I'll tell you everything," I promised. What more could I do?

***

When we reached the house I could practically feel the heat and anger rolling off of Bella. I hated that it was directed at me, but there was nothing I could do to change that. All I wanted to do was protect her and it had backfired horribly. There was no way I could have known, no way Alice could have known that not telling her about the treaty would have resulted in this. I just hoped this could be worked out between us. I couldn't bear to lose her so soon after finding her.

Almost the instant we were inside the entryway of the house, Bella turned on me, a fierce determination in her eyes. "So, this treaty. Want to tell me about it?" she asked shortly.

"You don't even want to meet the rest of my family first?" I asked, hoping that with a little time she might calm down a bit.

As if I had summoned them, Carlisle and Esme appeared in the entryway, both of them looking anxious. Esme rushed up to me and pulled me into a tight hug. "I've been so worried about you," she whispered in my ear. "Have things been difficult with Bella?"

I shook my head and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Not to worry, Esme," I told her, "things have been and will be fine."

She pulled away from me then, satisfied that I was telling her the truth. She moved to Alice and Jasper then, hugging them tightly as though they had been separated for years instead of just a few months. She fussed over them for a few moments, asking questions about our friends in Alaska, and then she turned to Bella. "Hello, dear. My, you are quite a beauty, aren't you?" she asked, a smiling blooming on her pretty face.

Bella looked as though she wasn't sure how to react. She touched her hair nervously as she looked at Esme. "Do I know you?" she asked her, racking her memories to find the missing one.

Esme smiled gently, putting a hand on her shoulder in a motherly gesture. "I sat with you before the others took you to Alaska."

"You sang to me," Bella said, the memory suddenly resurfacing. She looked at Esme as though she were the most wonderful woman in the world.

Esme laughed. "I don't sing as well as Edward, but I enjoy it from time to time. I thought you could use some comfort."

Bella's face softened even more. "Thank you for that. It reminds me of something my own mother would have done."

Esme beamed at that and turned to Carlisle, reaching a hand out to him. Carlisle walked over, a soft smile on his face as he looked at his wife. It always thrilled me to see them together. They had such a wonderful romance and it was something I had always wanted to have. I looked at Bella who was smiling at my parents with such tenderness that it was obvious she already adored them even though she barely knew them. My hope for the two of us, for our happiness together, was rekindled.

"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Bella," Carlisle said with the same soft smile he had given Esme. "It looks like you are settling in all right."

"It all feels right," she admitted to him as she had to me many times before. "It feels like I was meant to be in this world all along."

I couldn't stop myself, I stepped up beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, drawing her into me. She snuggled into me, even though I knew she was still upset, and she wrapped her arm around my waist. Carlisle raised an eyebrow in surprise and shot a look at me. _"This is a nice surprise,"_ he thought. I just nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Bella sighed and leaned a head on my shoulder.

Esme was absolutely glowing with happiness as she looked at us. _"Edward! You've found a mate!"_ she practically crowed at me, pleasure evident in her smile and her eyes. I nodded again, not wanting to let Bella know she was being discussed in our private way.

"It is good to have a full family," Carlisle said aloud, still smiling at Bella. "The situation left a little to be lacking, but it seems to have worked out in your favor."

Bella looked up at me, her anger seeming to drain away as we looked into each others eyes. "I've never been happier," she said honestly. I was so touched that I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers. I wasn't really surprised when she kissed me back, a soft affection causing her fingertips to brush my face.

The thoughts of my parents intruded on the moment, though they didn't mean to. They were both just so happy that they couldn't stop themselves from letting those thoughts race around their minds. I think they were almost as happy as I was myself.

"So, how long are you all staying?" Carlisle asked me, "I wasn't sure what exactly was going on, it all happened so quickly."

Alice stepped forward. After all, this was her forte and she knew what was going on better than anyone else, except, myself. "As you know, about 21 hours ago I had a vision that Bella's father, Chief Swan, was going to be attacked by some new vampires in the area. At the time, we were barely going to be able to make it back," she said, pausing as confusion over the new state of things settled around her.

"What changed?" Carlisle asked.

Alice shrugged, her hands clenched with frustration. "That's the thing, I have no idea! The vision just suddenly disappeared. It's as though the other coven turned tail and left. Charlie is completely safe now."

Bella let out a sigh of relief, her body sagging against mine. "So, Charlie isn't going to be attacked?" she asked, needing the confirmation from Alice.

"I'm not sure where the new coven was, or where they went, but they are not going to cross paths with Charlie. Of that I am absolutely certain," she said with a nod, though she still looked confused as to how she could have been so wrong.

"The new coven was causing problems," Carlisle admitted, "Forks was being used as a hunting ground. So many deaths in such a small town could cause a lot of problems for us. I'm not sure why they decided to leave, but I'm glad they did. We might have had to go to the Volturi otherwise."

"How many deaths were there?" Bella asked, concern for the people in Forks written all over her face.

"Twelve in the past two months," Carlisle said sadly. I knew how painful that must have been for him: he hated the loss of human life more than anyone I had ever known (vampire or otherwise).

"Was there a panic?" I asked, wondering if it was this sudden rash of deaths in the addition to the disappearance of his daughter that had sent Charlie into the woods in Alice's vision yesterday.

Carlisle nodded. "People weren't sure if it was an animal or a serial killer," he explained, "but since most of the bodies weren't found, they assumed the worst. We can't stay here much longer, it is getting too dangerous."

"Will you all go back to Alaska with us?" Bella asked, as though Alaska was now her permanent home and she couldn't imagine living anywhere else.

"For a little while, maybe," Carlisle said thoughtfully, "the problem is that if there are too many of us, we tend to attract attention a lot faster. Our next possibility is New Hampshire. We already have a house there, and Esme misses the museums and culture of the east coast."

Esme laughed lightly, "Things just have an old world feel up there."

We chatted a bit more about the possibilities of moving again and where we would go, but all I could think about was that wherever I went, I wanted Bella with me. I still owned my biological parents' home in Chicago, but I wasn't really keen on living somewhere so sunny. I wondered if Bella would like to design a home of our own, just for the two of us. We could live in Alaska if that was what she wanted. I just wanted to give her a home she would love. I was still daydreaming when Bella elbowed me in the stomach.

"Yes?" I asked her, giving her a brilliant smile. I couldn't help it, my mind was full of thoughts of our future together.

"Can we go somewhere private to talk? You promised you would tell me everything I wanted to know," she reminded me pointedly.

I turned to Carlisle and Esme, smiling graciously at them. "We have plenty of time to catch up later. For now, Bella and I have some things to discuss."

Esme smiled at us, but it didn't reach her eyes. _"Is everything okay between you?_" she asked me hesitantly. I could tell she didn't want to pry, but she so desperately wanted me to be happy that she couldn't stop herself from acting as my mother.

I nodded and her shoulders relaxed a bit. "Come on, Bella, I'll show you my room," I said lightly, and Bella and I headed up the stairs.

***

"So, this is your room?"

I brought Bella inside and closed the door, giving us a chance to have a few minutes alone. It wasn't for the reason I wanted, but it was necessary, so I wasn't too upset. It had also been nearly half a year since I'd been in my room, but I remembered where everything was. While Bella was taking in the room and what it said about my personality, I crossed to the CD player and put on my favorite classical CD. The music began soft and slow as I crossed the room back to her side.

She had sat on my sofa and was passing her hand across the soft black leather. "Is your room in Alaska like this one too?" she asked, looking up at me with quizzical eyes.

I shook my head as I took a seat beside her. "I don't spend much time in the room Carmen has given me there. I prefer to spend it in the library or the music room..." I paused and took her hand in mine, brushing her palm with my lips, "Or with you, of course."

She shivered and leaned into me. "Edward," she breathed.

"Bella," I whispered back, moving my head up to kiss her. The moment our lips met it was like fireworks went off inside of me. I couldn't help but pull her into my arms, feeling her body pressed against mine. All I wanted was her, did she know that?

She pulled away, but there was a smile on her lips. "Are you trying to distract me from the real reason we came up here?" she asked.

I sighed and settled against the back of the sofa, releasing my hold on her. "I wasn't distracting you intentionally, but I see your point. You have questions that deserve answers. Anywhere in particular that you want me to start?"

Bella leaned into me, softening her teasing. "What is the deal between you and the wolves? Why do they care that you changed me, and what is the treaty they kept talking about?"

"Well, you certainly don't hold back when you are curious about something, do you?" I teased her back, "But I suppose I understand where the curiosity is coming from. I'll try to start at the beginning, so try to keep up."

"Oh, I'll see what I can do," Bella said dryly.

I grinned down at her and kissed her forehead, letting her know that I was just teasing. "Did you know that this isn't the first time we have lived in the area?" I asked, and she shook her head. "Back in the 1930's we lived just north of here. One day we came across the wolves while we were hunting. They saw our eyes and they believed us when we said that we didn't hunt humans. We devised a treaty with them right then and there. They would let us leave safely if we stayed off their land and promised never to bite another human."

"Bite being the keyword," Bella said with a glint of understanding in her eyes. "So that was why they said you were flaunting a betrayal in front of them."

I nodded. "We promised, and we never actually intended to break the promise. The thing is... I don't think, even if I had been able to keep my self control around you at first, that I would have left you unchanged for long."

"What are you saying?" Bella asked me, confusion in her eyes.

It had come time to say the words I had tried so many times to say. "Bella, I love you. I have for months now."

Her eyes were wide with surprise and she brought a hand to her lips. "You love me?"

I pressed on, needing to say what was in my head and in my heart. "I don't ever want anyone else, ever. I think I would have fallen in love with you even if you'd been a human."

She looked as though she wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn't come. "Edward... I don't know what to say."

It wasn't what I had wanted to hear, but I understood that I had surprised her. "I'm sorry if I've upset you, but I can't just keep this in anymore. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

She ducked her head and leaned against my chest, her arms wrapping around my waist. "I think I would like that," she admitted, "because I think I love you too."

I closed my eyes and brought her close. I may have screwed up a lot of things, but I was blessed in this. It was the best moment of my very long life. Nothing could possibly have been better.


	11. Chapter Ten: Meeting

**Chapter Ten: Meeting**

I hadn't expected my declaration of love to make Bella forget she was annoyed with me, but I'll admit that I had expected my reprieve to last at least an hour or two. In my mind I had imagined a few hours of cuddling and whispered words of love and affection. What I got was a reality check. The girl I had fallen in love with was not a sappy romantic in the same way I was. Bella was grounded in reality and very focused. It didn't take her fifteen minutes to start hounding me about keeping secrets from her.

"You know, don't think that just because you told me that you love me it's going to make me forget that you didn't tell me about the treaty," she said with a smirk.

I was a bit shocked at her direct works and I just gaped at her. "I was trying to protect you!" I told her, "Does that mean nothing?"

Bella gave me a fierce stare. "Do I look like I need protecting?"

I wanted to argue with her, to tell her that it didn't matter if she was capable of handling things on her own or not. The point was that I loved her and wanted to keep her safe and unfettered by these matters. Of course, Bella wouldn't have taken kindly to that. "No, of course you don't look like you need protecting. I should have just told you the truth instead of hiding it from you."

Bella beamed at me. "Yes, you should have. I'm glad you can admit that. So, is there anything else I should know about the wolves?"

I thought about that. "Well, the trait that allows them to become wolves is genetic. I got a good look into their minds today and discovered that they all descend from the wolves we met back in the 30's. I'm not sure what that means, but it is interesting to say the least."

"Why do they hate us? Just because we drink blood?" she asked, obviously warming to our discussion.

I nodded, "It's a little more complicated than that. I think it's because we take lives to keep our own going. They think we are unnatural. I did like the point that you made earlier about vegetarians, it definitely struck a nerve in them. I don't think any of them had ever seen us as similar to them in any way." I couldn't help but laugh a bit at that. Sam and the others had all been horrified to think that them being omnivores was anything like what we did. It made me love Bella all the more.

She frowned though, her eyebrows creasing in her frustration. "I don't know why they never thought of it that way. If we exist only on animals, how are we any different from them? Is it because we drink blood instead of eat meat? That just seems ridiculous."

I laughed again and pulled her close to me. "Sweetheart, it is very ridiculous. You've just hit the nail on the head. It's one of the reasons we try to stay out of their way. We don't exactly want to play up this rivalry. We are peaceful and we want to be left alone. It doesn't help to have an enemy watching our every move just in case we slip up."

She sighed and snuggled into my chest, letting her head rest against my frozen heart. "I guess I understand why you didn't tell me. You didn't want me to worry about your family back here when I had enough going on with Tanya and everything else up in Alaska. I still think you should have told me, but I do understand you wanting to protect me. That needs to stop. If you really love me, we should be partners. I'm not any less capable than you are," she told me, tapping her right forefinger against my chest to enunciate her words.

I took her hand and pressed a kiss to each of her perfect fingers. "I promise that from now on I will keep you informed about everything," I said seriously.

She smiled. "All right then, what do we do now?"

I pretended to think about that for a moment. "Well, we could always spend a few more minutes up here alone before Alice comes to drag us back down with the family."

Bella laughed, knowing that I wasn't kidding about Alice interrupting us. Her ruddy orange eyes sparkled with mischief as she lifted her chin and gave me access to her lips. "I suppose we should make the most of our time alone together then," she teased.

I took her chin in my hand and bent my lips to hers. "I suppose we should," I whispered against her lips. It was the sweetest kiss we had ever shared.

***

The next morning something happened that I had never expected. A wolf showed up at our front door.

It was around ten in the morning and Bella and I had been discussing the possibilities of a hunt. She still wasn't used to going very long without hunting and it had been nearly a week since she had been given the chance, what with everything else that had happened. It wasn't really fair to her that circumstances kept piling more and more hurdles in her way. She kept amazing me at her ability to overcome them. The wolf showing up only complicated it all.

"Are you sure you heard something, Edward?" Esme asked me nervously, her eyes filled with worry and uncertainty.

We were all standing around the foyer (Jasper, Alice, Esme, Bella and I), waiting for our unwelcome guest to show himself. It was nerve wracking, but none of us really wanted to head out in the forest to intercept him. There was safety in numbers after all, and because of the unique nature of the wolves' thoughts, I couldn't tell how many of them were out in the woods. It was definitely safer to wait, but safer didn't mean comfortable.

I finally nodded in response to Esme's question and my eyes flicked down to the top of Bella's head. She was wrapped in my arms, and I was loathe to let her go for any reason, especially if what I thought was coming was actually coming. I refused to let Bella be harmed and I would do anything in my power to keep that from happening. "The thoughts were jumbled, but clear enough. Any minute now the wolf will come onto our property and demand a meeting," I told her.

"Why do they want to meet with us?" Bella asked me, her hands tightening on my arms nervously.

I opened my mouth to answer her, but before I could there was a loud knocking on our door. "Why don't you let him explain," I said simply and gestured to Jasper to open the door for our 'guest'.

Jasper moved to the door and drew it open with all the care in the world. It was almost comical how exaggerated his movements were, but I assumed he was doing it on purpose to annoy the wolf. I choked back a laugh at the murderous expression on the young Quileute's face. Jared, his name was.

"The pack is requesting a meeting," he said by way of greeting.

"Would you like to come in and sit down?" Esme asked him politely, always thinking like a mother.

Jared's face contorted in a look of disgust. "No way in hell am I setting foot in this house," he spat at her.

Esme's face fell at his harsh words, and she excused herself from the room. I watched her disappear and then turned to glare at the rude boy, furious that he would talk like that to Esme. "Don't forget, dog, that you are on our land now. The treaty is the only thing keeping me from tearing you apart," I snarled at him.

"What treaty? The one you broke when you killed the chief's daughter?" Jared asked rudely.

"Just say what you want and get out of here," I said, trying to keep my temper in check while Bella was around. I didn't want her to see how ruthless I could actually be. I didn't need to scare her.

Jared looked as though he wanted to tear me apart just as much as I wanted to do the same to him. His eyes narrowed into slits and his upper lip curled in a snarl. "I've been sent to give you a message. You Cullens have violated the treaty, but Sam seems to think that there can still be an agreement made. He wants a meeting between your coven and our pack tonight at midnight," he said darkly, as though even the thought of an agreement between our families made him sick.

"There is a large field north of town. It will be far enough away from both Forks and La Push that Bella won't be a threat to any humans close by," Alice piped up suddenly. Her thoughts were simple and straightforward. More than anything she wanted Bella to be in a safe place, and our baseball field seemed like the best option to her. I had to agree with her. It seemed like the perfect place.

Jared nodded. "I'll tell Sam that you agreed. I warn you that if you fail to show up or if we think you might be trying to play us, we won't hesitate to fight you."

I growled, moving Bella from my arms to a safe place behind me. "Don't threaten us, dog," I said, stepping toward him, "We have no quarrel with you, so don't force one. You won't like the outcome if it comes down to a fight, trust me."

"Trust a filthy bloodsucker? You must be kidding me," he said in disgust, spitting on the ground at my feet.

"Now you wait just a minute," Bella snapped, coming around me. I groaned, knowing it was useless to try to stop her when she got angry. At least Jasper was here to help me hold her down if she tried to attack Jared. "How dare you walk into someone's home uninvited, threaten them and then spit on the floor of their home. You really are just an animal, aren't you?"

Jared began to shake, his thoughts so furious that nothing else could get through. I placed myself in front of Bella, shoving her not only behind me, but into the nearby living room. Bella gasped loudly, her surprise at being thrown around by me was evident, but I would have to apologize later. I wanted her as far away from the wolf as possible. They were dangerous, as I well remembered, and her self-control wasn't good enough to keep her from attacking him back. The whole situation felt like a bomb in the room, ticking and ticking away, ready to go off at the slightest provocation.

"Everyone just calm down," Jasper said softly, his gift weaving through the room like a sedative. I felt my body uncoil as the tension drained away. Even Jared, who had just a moment previously looked as though he was going to kill us all single-handed, had stopped shaking and was easing back into a more casual posture.

I stepped forward before anything else could happen to damage the situation. "We will see you tonight. Until then I suggest that we all take some time to decide what we want to say," I told him calmly.

Jared nodded, though his thoughts were clouded and confused. "Don't be late," he said as a parting shot and left as quickly as he could manage.

As soon as he was out of sight I rushed into the living room, hoping to apologize quickly to Bella. She was still sitting on the floor, a look of surprise and a hint of anger on her lovely face. "I was trying to keep him from killing you," I said quickly, hoping that it would be sufficient enough to keep an argument at bay.

"I can protect myself, Edward," she snapped and moved to her feet. She stepped forward, poking her finger into my chest. "I'm not made of glass and I know we have had this conversation already."

"I love you," I reminded her. "That gives me a little leeway in this, I think."

She tried to glare at me, but I knew that my words defused her anger. It was still so early in the relationship that I assumed it was hard for her to stay angry with me, especially when I told her I loved her. "You have to let me fight my own battles," she finally said, her shoulders falling limp as the anger drained from her.

I stepped toward her and pulled her into my arms, burying my face in her hair. "Bella, you aren't fully in control of your emotions yet. If I feel that you might do something to put yourself in danger, I will step in. I can't lose you, okay? I need you to understand that," I whispered, kissing the spot where her jaw and ear met.

She shivered and wrapped her arms around me, dropping her forehead to my chest. "I guess I can't argue with that, can I?"

Alice sighed loudly, and we turned to look at her. "Haven't you learned anything yet, Bella? You are part of our family. We would die to protect you. It has nothing to do with you not being able to handle yourself. It has to do with how we would feel if we lost you."

Esme came back into the room then, peeking around the doorway from the living room to the kitchen before re-joining us. "I called Carlisle at work and told him about the young wolf. He was worried about Bella and decided to come home early," she said in a quiet voice. Her eyes flicked to my face. "He thinks it might be a trap," she thought frantically.

I shook my head as discreetly as I could. That much I did know. Jared may have been angry at having to come to our home and talk to us, but his mind was simple and unable to hide anything. The wolves simply wanted to talk to us, especially to Bella. They honestly didn't know more than that, they were unsure of the situation themselves. Bella's jab at Sam had really gotten to him, and he didn't know what to think anymore.

"I'd like to talk to him about all of this. I'm sure he will know what to do," I said with a somewhat forced smile. The truth was that I didn't want the wolves anywhere near Bella, but I also knew there was nothing I could do to keep her away from them. I just had to let things play out and protect her as best as I could.

"Alice, will things work out all right?" Esme asked, her hands clasped together, as though she could hold everything together as long as she never unclenched her hands.

Alice shrugged helplessly. "I can't seem to see anything where the wolves are concerned. It's like a blind spot."

Jasper put an arm around her, his thoughts worried for her. "Don't beat yourself up. They are strange creatures and ruled by emotions. I doubt even they know what will happen with their own bodies from moment to moment."

I thought about that, wondering if Jasper was right. Not that it mattered right now, but it was an interesting thought. For now I just had to work on a plan to protect the one thing I loved more than anything else. I was not going to lose Bella, no matter what the wolves had planned.

***

The night was quiet when we arrived at the field where we usually played baseball. It was a large clearing, maybe a good mile in all directions before the trees started again. I wasn't sure if anyone but our family had ever used the area, but it was our favorite recreation space. I hated bringing the wolves here to our safe haven. It felt like an intrusion into our private lives, but I knew that Alice had been right in suggesting it. There was nowhere else inside our boundaries that was far enough away from Forks and yet big enough to make us feel safe. We were left with no option but this on, and I resented it. I wasn't the only one either.

"I don't like bringing them to our field," Esme said with a sigh, looking around and thinking about all of the time we had spent here during the last two years. Carlisle put his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. He wasn't happy with the circumstances either, but he was the head of our family and he knew we had no other choice.

"Do you all come here a lot?" Bella asked me, tugging on my hand a bit to get my attention.

I looked down at her, at the way our hands were clasped. It reminded me of why we were here at all, and all my frustration with the situation drained away. All that mattered was this girl at my side, the person I wanted to spend my very long life with. Right now I just needed to focus on getting her through this night. If I could do that, we would be well on our way into that long life together.

"We like to play games here, mostly baseball, but occasionally football or soccer," I told her, forcing a smile to appease her growing nerves.

A smile blossomed on her face as she looked up at me. "I've never been one for sports. I was always too clumsy to enjoy them, but I think I would like watching you guys play. It would be fun," she admitted.

"Edward, do you hear them yet?" Carlisle asked me, knowing that I might hear their thoughts before the others could hear or smell them coming.

I shook my head. I hadn't heard a peep out of anyone but us since arriving here, and I had been really listening. "It isn't quite midnight yet, so they aren't late," I pointed out, but I had to admit to myself that I was surprised they weren't here before us. It would have been a sound strategy, advantageous. Perhaps Bella really had rattled them, even more than I had realized. It might make them unsure of what they were walking into. If that was the case, it was a good thing. We definitely needed any advantage that we could get, no matter what it was.

We all waited in silence, no one wanting to break the stillness of the night in case the wolves were waiting just out of our view, ready to pounce. Bella moved closer to my side, wrapping the hand that wasn't clasped in mine around my upper arm. Even without being able to hear her thoughts, I could feel her nervousness and I knew how afraid she was of the unknown. I pulled my arm out of her grasp and wrapped it around her waist, letting her fall against me in a closer embrace. She made a sound of pure happiness, and it made me smile, even as tense as I was.

Before long I heard the faintest whisper of words coming from the southwest. I turned toward the noise, my attention focused on the words, hoping to make them out. "...blood...daughter...treaty..."

"It's them," I whispered, and I could feel the tension rise in all of us. Bella's hand tightened around my waist, her grip slightly painful.

"What are they thinking?" Alice whispered back, her voice barely audible over the wind that had just picked up in the field.

"It's just bits and pieces right now," I told her, "but it gets clearer the closer they get." I focused on the voices again, trying to determine how close they were.

_"What are you expecting, Sam? Do you think the Swan girl is really going to prove that they aren't monsters? We know they are!" _

_"We don't know much about the Cullens, they have never broken the treaty before." _

_"But how do we know that for sure? They were away for over seventy years. How do we know what went on wherever they were for that time?"_

Sam didn't get a chance to respond to his furious pack member because the wolves neared the edge of the field. "They are here," I said, nodding toward the forest. I knew that my family could already tell that the wolves had arrived, but I said it anyway, mostly to let the wolves know that we had been waiting for them.

They moved into the field, clad only in frayed shorts. It was obvious to me that they had stopped shy of the field to transform and put on some clothing. The last time they had transformed in front of us, there had been two ladies present and Sam had been very uncomfortable with his nakedness. This time they had taken the necessary precautions to be at least halfway decent. I appreciated that: I didn't like the thought of Bella being exposed to a bunch of naked men.

"You came," Sam said as he strode across the field to where we were waiting. He was obviously surprised by our acquiescence. He hadn't expected us to show up. It was the excuse they would have used for attacking us.

"We always try to keep our word," Carlisle said simply, stepping in as the head of the family.

Sam turned toward Carlisle, his eyes wide in surprise, not believing that such a distinguished looking person... a doctor for crying out loud, could possibly be a vampire. He finally pulled himself together, a frown creasing his eyebrows. "Well, keeping your word is the reason for this meeting, isn't it? If you hadn't broken the treaty and made Chief Swan's daughter one of you, we wouldn't be here tonight," he said seriously, his voice deep and full of authority.

Carlisle stepped toward Sam, dropping his arm from around Esme's shoulders. "We take full responsibility for that mistake," he said calmly, placing his palms beseechingly before him. "It would have been worse if we had left her to die. Instead, we had to save her. We aren't monsters."

One of the wolves behind Sam scoffed. It was the one I recognized as having been the messenger, Jared. Sam turned a hard glare at him and turned back to Carlisle. "Perhaps we don't have the whole story," he said, and then turned his eyes on Bella, "You were very vocal yesterday, and I was hoping to hear everything from you, if you'll tell us."

Bella blanched, looking up at me as though wanting me to tell her what to do. I squeezed her waist and nodded. "I'm right here and I won't let anything happen to you," I whispered in her ear.

"You won't leave my side?" she asked, her eyes begging me to promise.

"I won't leave your side," I said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

She dropped her hand from my waist and instead entwined our fingers tightly, linking us as a united front as we walked closer to the wolves. She faced them bravely, her chin jutting out in defiance of what they might think of her. "What exactly do you want to know?" she asked, her voice strong with no trace of weakness. I squeezed her hand, my chest puffing up with pride for her strength.

Sam looked at her thoughtfully. He could tell that she wasn't really like us. She was fresh, vibrant, very much alive. The rest of us had lived for so long that we kept our emotions in check, always thinking everything through before doing or saying things. Not Bella, and somehow I doubted that she would ever be as tranquil as the rest of us. She had too much to say and do to be quiet and thoughtful.

"I want to know everything, from the moment you first met the Cullens until yesterday. Tell me what living with them is like, what kind of things you do in this life," he suggested, as though it wasn't important to him, though that was far from the truth. He needed to know Bella's story, but I couldn't figure out why: the thought was missing from his mind.

Bella looked at me again, and when I nodded she took a deep breath and faced the wolves again. "All right, I'll tell you my story. But you have to promise that after I tell you, you will let us all leave in peace," she said seriously.

Sam looked surprised, but also thoughtful. "I promise that no matter what you say, we will take time to think about where to go from here. You have no worry from us tonight."

The rest of the pack didn't look like they necessarily liked that promise. Most of them frowned, a few even cracked their knuckles menacingly as they looked at us. If this hadn't been so serious, I would have laughed at them. They were acting like common teenage thugs. It was absolutely ridiculous.

Bella ignored them though and began to tell her story. She started with her first day of school, talking about how uncomfortable she had been with the move up to Washington from Phoenix, how she was trying to keep depression at bay and failing miserably. She talked about seeing us in the cafeteria that day, about the uncomfortable Biology class we had had together which had led to the confrontation in the parking lot. When she brought up the attack I closed my eyes in shame. I could still see clearly the fear in her eyes as I lost control, unable to stop myself from tearing into her throat and spilling her precious blood. I wanted to run as far away from that clearing as I could go, to run away from myself and the pain I had caused her. Yes, that act had brought to me the sweetest joy of my life, but I still wished that it had happened differently. She hadn't deserved the fear and pain I had brought to her.

She skipped over the actual pain of the transformation, instead dwelling on how desperately we tried to save her. How I never left her side during that time. She talked about Esme singing to her and Alice holding her hand and preparing her for our way of life. She didn't mention that she had tried to attack me or that it had been difficult to build a relationship together afterward. Instead she talked about how comfortable she had felt as a vampire, how right it had seemed to her. She explained that she felt she had always been meant to be one of us. The wolves had bristled a bit at that, but none had spoken. They were just as interested in the rest of her story as Sam was.

The most important part of the story was obviously the hiker she had almost killed. She told the wolves of how she had run after him, intent on killing him and having no way to stop herself. She told them how we had stopped her from making the mistake, how it was then that she truly understood how hard it had been for me not to kill her. She talked about the remorse she had felt at even having almost ended someone's life. The way it had torn her up and made her question things and ultimately realize that she was lucky she had been part of our family and not another coven that didn't care about human life.

She ended her story with the sudden vision Alice had had of Charlie being in danger and our mad rush to get back to Forks in order to save him from the rogue vampires. At the mention of the three who almost killed her father, the wolves froze, looking at us in astonishment.

"They weren't friends of yours?" Sam asked suddenly, realizing that this subject hadn't come up before.

"No," Carlisle said with a forceful shake of his head, "those deaths in town that they caused had nothing to with us. We would never cause such chaos on purpose. We were actually formulating a plan to take care of them ourselves when they disappeared."

"You have us to thank for that," Sam said grimly, "we smelled unfamiliar vampires and could smell fresh blood on them. We didn't care if they were friends of yours or not, we had a duty to keep La Push and Forks protected."

Bella stepped forward, her eyes bright with gratitude, "You saved my father's life, how can I ever thank you for that?"

"Well, don't thank us too soon," Sam said with a dark look, "one of them, a female with red hair, got away. I've never seen anyone so fast."

There was a pause as everyone in the group digested that. Alice especially looked thoughtful and I could tell she was trying to pinpoint the red-heads future. Finally, Bella broke the silence.

"So, now that you know my story, know that what happened to me was an accident. Will you honor our agreement and let us leave?" she asked seriously. Her gratitude for her father was one thing, but our own lives were still the matter most pressing.

Sam hesitated, the story running through his mind as he thought about what she had told them. "It seems there is much to be thought about. Our treaty never factored in transformation as a way to save someone, even if the fault had been with one of you to begin with. The truth is, we don't know as much about each other as we thought. Bella, you don't seem like a walking corpse. You have a lot of life in you."

Carlisle spoke up again. "Why don't we all take a few days to think things through? You should know that we were planning to leave as soon as possible. That might help you make your decision."

Sam nodded. "We will meet again in a weeks time. I expect that you won't leave before we meet again. I also would advise against visiting with Chief Swan. I don't think any of us want him hurt."

Bella looked crestfallen. "I would never hurt my father. I promise that I won't even leave the Cullen's home without someone with me."

Sam nodded and spoke seriously. "See that you do that."

We all began to back away from each other, our faces grim with the silent treaty still hanging by a thread between us. It wasn't the resolution we had hoped for tonight, but it definitely could have been worse.


	12. Chapter Eleven: Visitors

A/N: I am so sorry for the delay! As I've said before, my husband is my beta and he just got a new job. In the past couple of weeks we have packed up our lives, moved to a new home and my husband started his new job. With all of that going on we didn't really have time for editing or messing with fanfictions. I am here to post though, so please enjoy!

**Chapter Eleven: Visitors**

A week had passed since the meeting with the wolves, and I had finally decided to pack up my room and my life. Of course, it wasn't going to take very long, it never did. The problem was that I loved it here in Washington. It had always been what I considered my real home. I wasn't interested in packing up everything once again and leaving, especially because everything seemed to be hanging in the balance, and I wasn't just thinking about the wolves.

Worried about the treaty and about an uncertain future with Bella, I packed my room up as quickly as I could. My collection of books and the CD's were quickly sorted and put into labeled boxes. I moved from one end of the room to the other, leaving only empty space where once were my prized possessions.

I reached the closet and began digging through clothing and assorted knick-knacks when I came across a small oak box, inlaid with mother-of-pearl. I paused for the first time since I started packing and brought the box to the sofa with me, setting it down and opening the top with loving care. The insides of the box were of a faded blue velvet, and a small antique mirror was attached to the underside of the lid. This was my mother's jewelry box, and I knew each and every piece by heart.

I picked up a five carat diamond heart, remembering that it had hung on a favorite necklace of my mother's. There was another charm, a small ruby butterfly. My father had given it to my mother on their anniversary when I was eight. There were so many memories in that box, some that I had shared with Alice and Esme, but most that I had kept for myself in the hopes that I could give them to my wife someday. Honestly, I had almost given up hope on that dream until I had met Bella. Now I was hopeful again. When my eyes fell on the single most important item in the jewelry box, my chest tightened.

In the middle of the box, in a place of honor, was my mother's antique wedding ring nestled in blue velvet.

I picked up the small bit of metal in my fingers and looked at the perfect rows of delicate diamonds set in an oval face. My mother had worn it until she had passed away, and I had always intended to give it to my future wife. I could imagine how beautiful it would look on Bella's finger as I promised to love her for the rest of eternity.

If she would accept it, that is.

I slipped the ring into my pocket, certain that if I was alive my heart would be pounding furiously. Instead, I felt my mouth run dry at the thought of asking Bella to be my wife. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was all I wanted for eternity, and after our discussion a few days earlier, I believed that she wanted the same of me. I knew it was early; we had only known each other for a few months, but those months had been an eye opener for me. She was everything I could have ever dreamed of having, and, more than anything, I wanted a formal claim on her and her affections.

Without pausing to think of whether what I was doing was wrong or right, I left my room and walked down the hall to Alice and Jasper's room where I knew Bella was chatting with Alice. I was about ten feet from the door when I heard Alice speaking with Bella and I instantly froze, my whole being focused on the conversation.

"Are you sure that you really want to go back to Alaska?" Alice asked her. "The issue with Tanya isn't going to go away anytime soon."

"I know," Bella responded, "but already miss Carmen and Kate. They are the only family I have right now. Besides, I don't have anywhere else to go."

Her casual remark made my insides clench painfully. Had she really just said that she didn't have anywhere to go? What did that say about our future together? Would she go to Alaska without me if I decided to go to New York with Carlisle and Esme? Could I really just leave my family forever just to follow a girl who I wasn't even sure actually loved me?

"So, you think of Denali as your home? You wouldn't imagine living anywhere else?" Alice asked casually. My head perked up, and I listened intently. The answer was more important to me given the fact that I had my mother's ring in my pocket.

"Like where?" Bella asked, her voice full of curiosity. I was good at reading her moods now. I had to learn how when I realized her thoughts were forever shielded from me.

"Well," Alice said cautiously, her thoughts focused on helping me. I really loved my sister in that moment. "You could come with our family to New York. I mean, Jasper and I absolutely adore you. And Edward, well, you know how much he loves you."

Bella was quiet for a long moment, long enough to make me uncomfortable as I held my breath. "I don't even know the rest of your family. Carlisle and Esme are nice, but why would I choose to move somewhere with them?"

"Because they are Edward's parents," Alice argued, "and we are happier when we are together as a family."

"I don't see why this is a big deal. It isn't like I have to settle down anywhere. Didn't you say that once I'm in control of myself that I could travel?" Bella asked.

"Are you planning to go alone? I thought you wanted to take a trip with all of us," Alice said, her voice growing low and hurt. I knew how she was feeling, because my chest was tightening with the same kind of pain.

"Who says the trip across Europe has to be the end of my traveling? I've never seen much of the world and I finally have the time to explore everything I want to see. I don't really want to settle down," Bella explained.

I stepped away from the room then, unable to listen to another word. I was going back to my room to put the ring back in the jewelry box where it belonged. It obviously wasn't the right time yet. I just hoped that someday she _would_ be ready to settle down, both with me and the life I could give her.

Damn, why did it have to hurt so badly?

***

I was finishing up packing the last few boxes when I smelled Bella walk into my doorway.

"Edward, can we talk?" she asked, her voice filled with sadness and worry.

I turned to her, taking in the face that was more familiar to me, more dear to me, than any other. I couldn't help but think of the conversation that I had overheard, and the fact that it seemed to prove that Alice's vision of Bella always running away from me was coming true. Without even realizing it, this girl in front of me was destroying me in ways I had never imagined would be possible.

I turned back to the boxes in front of me, taping them up securely for the move. It was stupid, but I couldn't look at her anymore. It just hurt too much. "Was there something specific on your mind?" I asked lightly, not wanting her to know that I had overheard her private conversation with Alice.

She stepped into the room, wrapping her arms around my waist from behind and laying her cheek on my back. I froze, completely taken off guard by the affectionate action. This was not what I had been expecting when she said she wanted to talk. I moved my hands to hers, threading our fingers together and pulling her tight against me. She made a soft noise of approval and nuzzled her face into my sweater.

"We haven't had any time alone together since we came back to Forks," Bella said softly, her voice wistful and yet still laced with the sadness and worry I had heard in her voice when she first walked in.

"We spend hours alone in my room every night," I pointed out, turning so that I could sit on the sofa and pull her into my lap. She immediately curled up into my arms as though it was the only place in the world she wanted to be. She buried her face in my neck, placing tiny kisses on my skin. It felt nice, better than nice, but I still couldn't forget what she had told Alice. She wasn't interested in settling down, and I wasn't sure where that left me. Was this all just a distraction for her until she got things under control? Did she really love me, or was this attraction between us all in my head? It was so painful not being able to read her thoughts. It would make all of this so much easier.

"Mmm," Bella agreed, her thoughts most likely on the enjoyable hours we had spent in this very room in the past week. "That's true, but there is always someone else in the house, close enough to hear every word we say and sound we make," she reminded me.

"So, what did you have in mind?" I asked, playing with a curl of her hair, twisting it between my fingers and enjoying the silky feel of it.

"I'd like to take a walk with you in the woods, maybe do some hunting, talk about some things that have been on my mind," she said seriously, looking up into my eyes. I took notice of the fact that her eyes were finally turning a soft golden color instead of the red-amber they had been the past few months. The change in color didn't change the depth to them though; they were still filled with mysteries and secrets that I might never know. It was one of the things that attracted me to her in the first place. Though now, it seemed like everything about her just pulled me in more and more. I was so in love with her that I could barely contain it. I just wished I knew if she felt the same. Damn, why couldn't I concentrate on what we had now instead of obsessing over the future? My curse, I guess.

"Is everything all right, Bella?" I asked, brushing her hair off her face and behind her shoulder in a comforting sort of gesture. I tried to push my doubts away and focus on her. If she did leave, these would be the only memories I would have of her. I needed to hold onto them, and her, while I could. "Love, is everything okay?"

She nibbled her lower lips gently, so as not to hurt herself. "Can't I just want to be alone with you for a little while?" she asked, totally unconvincingly.

I laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You are not a good liar, my love. But if you want, I'll take a walk with you. I'll admit that I'm intrigued by your sudden need for privacy."

A smile blossomed on her lips, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Instead of answering me, she took my hand and stood up, pulling me along with her. We didn't speak as we left my room, made our way down the stairs and then left out the front door. There was purpose in her walk, in the way she tugged at me to hurry up even though I was practically running to keep up with her. Whatever it was that she wanted to talk about, it was obviously important to her, weighing heavily on her mind. If there was anything I could do to help her, I would do it. Even if it hurt me, I wanted her to be happy. I loved her that much.

We were fairly far into the forest when she finally stopped by the river. She dropped my hand and walked toward a large boulder, climbing atop it with ease and sitting upon it, looking for all the world like a Queen surveying her court. I couldn't help but think once again about how beautiful she was, how much I wished I had a claim on her. "There's room for one more," she called down to me, a soft laugh in the words.

I smiled and bounded up the side of the rock, settling in beside her but not touching her. If she was going to break my heart, I couldn't let myself be too close. It would make the pain even worse. "So, what did you want to talk about so privately?" I asked, trying to keep a light note of teasing in my tone. It was the only way I could hold onto my self control and not just shake her and ask her if she was planning to leave me.

Bella looked down at her hands, her lovely perfect hands, and then began to twist them, her fingers fiddling together. Vampires can sit for hours or even days without moving, so I knew that she had a need to move, to be restless. She was worried about something and she had to know that I knew it. For several impossibly long minutes we sat in silence, Bella trying to muster up the nerve to say what was on her mind, and me trying desperately not to overreact to her worry. Finally, she looked up from her hands, gazing into my eyes. "Edward, do you think that the wolves are going to kill us tonight?"

That was so far from what I was expecting that I just stared at her for a moment, my eyes wide and surprised. "Is that what you have been worried about today?" I asked, the breath releasing from me in a rush of air. So, she obviously hadn't been thinking about her conversation with Alice the way I had. I wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, but I wasn't going to push anything. If she needed me to console her about the meeting with the wolves, I would do that and with great pleasure. I moved closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her into me so I could bury my face in her fragrant hair.

Bella nodded against my chest, her shoulders heaving with sobs that she couldn't release. "I'm so scared," she whispered, grasping for my hand. I let her have what she wanted, and then I winced at her grip. No matter how good her self control was, she was still a newborn and she was stronger than me. I didn't complain though. I could tell she was terrified and I wanted to ease her fears.

"Bella, sweetheart, I will never let anyone hurt you again," I promised, putting a hand under her chin and forcing her to look me in the eyes, "Did you believe me when I told you that I love you?"

Her lips quivered, but she nodded. "Of course I did, and I love you too. The thing is, love isn't going to stop the wolves from attacking if they think that you broke the treaty. I can't bear the thought that someone might hurt you, that you might not..." she broke off, her shoulder shaking with tearless sobs yet again.

My heart clenched in my chest at her words. I couldn't reconcile her conversation with Alice earlier to the words she had just said, but I didn't want to think about that now. What mattered right now was the girl in my arms and how upset she was. "No one is going to hurt me," I whispered, stroking her hair as I comforted her. "Honestly, from the thoughts that I gathered at the meeting last week they were impressed by you; surprised by your story, of course, but all of them wondered if they had misjudged us. I don't think that they are going to attack."

"Do you really think that, or are you just trying to make me feel better?" Bella asked, a half smile on her lips as though she knew the answer and was grateful that I was lying to her.

"I really believe that," I said honestly, pressing a kiss to her forehead. It felt so nice that I decided to kiss her again, this time on her perfectly formed lips. She seemed surprised at first, but only for a moment, then she eagerly threw herself into the kiss.

"Edward," she breathed, my name sounding like candy on her lips.

My response was to pull her into my lap, like I had on the sofa in my room. No words I could speak could show her how very much I love her, so I would let my actions speak for me. I cradled her face in my hands, kissing her lips as gently, as lovingly as I could manage. She was my world, my life, my everything. The thought that I might lose her, ever, was more painful to me than death.

"I love you," I whispered against her lips, needing to say the words I was feeling so strongly. I knew that she said she knew, but I didn't want her to ever doubt the truth of that fact. It was the most important truth in my world, the only thing that really mattered. I loved this girl, this beautiful, wonderful, brave girl. Whether or not she truly loved me back, at the moment it didn't matter. She needed me and I was never going to leave her wanting or needing while I could help it.

She pulled me back against her, pressing her lips once more against mine. It was a desperate sort of kiss, full of passion but also an intensity that wasn't normal for Bella. When she finally pulled away, both of us breathing hard from our shared desire, her lips had a determined set to them. "Edward, make love to me," she whispered. She was not begging though, more like demanding it of me.

"Bella, no," I said gently, moving her hands from my neck. This was something that we had discussed at least once a night since arriving back in Forks. I had tried to explain to her that I didn't want to rush things: I wanted to let our relationship take its natural course. I also reminded her that I was old fashioned, but apparently she liked to ignore that fact. Every night in the past week she had pushed me further and further, until I was dying inside with the need to have her. I was determined to keep my promise to myself, but she was making it so difficult.

She looked disappointed, but not completely put off. "Why not? What if something does happen tonight? Don't you want to know that we shared everything? That we were everything to each other?"

I smiled and kissed her hands that were still clutched within mine. "You already are everything to me. I don't need anything more to prove to me that you are the love of my life, the love I will take with me until the end of time. Besides, I already told you that I'm not worried about the meeting with the wolves tonight. I don't think they are going to attack," I said tenderly, punctuating my sentences with a kiss to each of her fingers.

A slow smile crept onto her lips as she pulled her fingers away from mine and instead snaked her arms around my neck. "Yes, but Edward," she said softly, kissing her way from my chin to my lips, "you have forgotten one very important detail."

"Oh, and what is that?" I asked, bemused by this attempt at seduction.

"I'm a lot stronger than you are," she whispered and pulled us off the boulder onto the ground where she both straddled me and pinned my hands above my head.

I couldn't help but be impressed with her. My Bella was not afraid of going after what she wanted, and I supposed that right now the thing she wanted most was me. It was both flattering and arousing, and my body responded to her fierce possessiveness. "Well," I said as calmly as I could with my body reacting to her nearness, "now that you have me, what are you going to do with me?" I had no intention of giving up my morals so easily, but I was curious to know what her plan was. I apparently enjoyed tormenting myself.

Bella grinned and it had a feral feeling to it. She was acting on pure instinct now, her animalistic tendencies bleeding through the civilized facade. It aroused me even more, and I knew that she was pushing me toward a line that I wasn't ready to cross. Before I could protest she leaned down, capturing my lips in a kiss so hot that I feared my body would catch fire. I wasn't sure where she had learned to kiss this way, but the way her tongue explored my mouth was a carnal delight. I moaned, pressing both my groin and my lips against her. All of my self restraint seemed to bleed away as her body pressed against mine, writhing, grinding, maddening. If she didn't stop soon, I might not be able to hold out.

"You want me, almost as much as I want you," she whispered, nipping gently at my lower lip and drawing another moan from my body.

"Bella, we have to stop right now," I told her, trying to pull my wrists free of her grip but failing, "if we don't stop now we won't be able to."

"I don't want to stop. Edward, I told you that I want to make love to you," she said softly, a wicked smile in her eyes, "and I'm pretty sure you want exactly the same thing."

"I want you," I admitted, "but I'm not sure right now is the best time."

"Why? What's wrong with now?" she asked, teasing me and she ground our groins together, "You seem just as into it as I am."

I wanted to tell her that the sanctity of marriage was important to me, that when we made love for the first time, it should be on our wedding night. I wanted to say that once we were married I would find some remote cabin with her and we would make love until we could no longer tell where one of us ended and the other began. All of these words and more filled my head as I tried to figure out the right way to say it all without rejecting her.

"Bella, I love you," I said seriously, "but this isn't the right time for us. I don't want to rush a physical relationship."

She pulled back, but it wasn't acceptance in her eyes: it was rejection. I had once again failed to say what I meant and had hurt her. "You don't want me," she said unhappily, moving away from me with hurt in her eyes.

I scrambled to my feet, reaching for her arm and yanking her into my embrace. I buried my face in her hair and held her as tightly as I was able. "Don't you dare walk away from me," I whispered, "can't you tell how badly I want you?"

"If you want me, why won't you take what I'm offering?" she asked, trying to push me away, "I just want us to be together in every way possible. Why is that wrong?"

All of the reasons I had thought about before raced through my head. I didn't want to scare her off. I didn't want her to think that I wasn't interested in exploring every nook and crevice of her delectable body. But how in the hell was I supposed to explain both things? "I want to make love to you until we are both so exhausted, so satiated, so filled with pleasure that we know each other's bodies better than we know our own," I admitted, cupping her face and forcing her to look into my eyes. "I want to touch and taste every inch of you until you are hoarse from screaming. I've thought of little else for months."

"Months?" she asked, her eyes growing round with surprise, "but you didn't even kiss me until last week!"

I laughed, leaning down to press a light kiss to her lips. "That doesn't mean that I hadn't been thinking about that first kiss and much more for a long time before it happened," I teased.

"So, you really do want me?" she asked, her eyes still showing uncertainty.

"More than you will ever know," I told her honestly, "but this isn't the right time. Trust me, when the time comes, the right time, you won't be able to stop me from making love to you for weeks on end."

A small smile touched her lips. "I'll hold you to that," she said quietly.

"I hope you will," I said, pulling her back into my arms so that I could kiss her again. "But for now, we should probably go back to the house. Alice is bound to come looking for us if we don't head back."

Bella made a face and sighed. "All right, I did promise her that I would help her with something this afternoon."

I laughed and slung an arm around her shoulder, gently pulling her back toward the house. "Well, I would hate to keep Alice waiting. She is a frightening little monster sometimes."

Bella laughed all the way back toward the house.

***  
I was whistling to myself as I walked up to my room after parting with Bella in the foyer. She had even paused to give me a kiss goodbye. It had been a nice kiss, full of the promise of longer, deeper and much more passionate ones in the future. All in all, I felt much better about our future than I had when the two of us had left the house an hour or so before.

It was probably this lightheartedness that distracted me as I made my way to my door on the second floor. The house was nearly empty, as Carlisle and Esme were taking care of last minute arrangements in town but I could smell something strange, something that didn't quite belong to Forks. I was still trying to place the smell when I walked into my room and saw Tanya sprawled out on my black leather sofa, looking for all the world as though she thought she belonged there.

"What in the hell are you doing here?" I demanded, surprise and a lingering anger at her coloring my tone. I closed the door quickly behind me, hoping against hope that Bella hadn't heard my angry words. After everything that had happened between us today, seeing Tanya wasn't exactly going to help her state of mind.

Tanya clucked her tongue and shook her head in disapproval as she gracefully peeled herself off the couch and sauntered toward where I was still standing by the door. "That isn't a very polite welcome, Edward," she said softly, her accent giving the words a sensual purr. "I thought you might have missed me by now."

I clenched my jaw, grinding my teeth in frustration. All I wanted to do was take her by the neck and toss her out my window, but I was too much of a gentleman for that. "I suppose 'what' was the wrong word," I amended, " I meant why. Why in the hell are you here instead of on an extended hunting trip with your sisters and Carmen and Eleazar?"

Tanya pouted, her lower lip jutting out in a petulant way. "Irina and I got back to the house early. When we found your note about Bella's father, why, we couldn't just wait around. We had to come and see if we could help. Besides, I wanted to apologize to you in private without everyone looking in on us," she said softly, putting her hands on my collar and drawing herself against my chest.

I stepped to the side, letting her hands drop from my neck. "What is it exactly that you want to apologize for?" I asked stiffly, sensing no real contrition in her. She was up to something and I wasn't interested in falling for it as I had in the past.

Tanya sighed dramatically, her thoughts so obvious and forced that I could tell this was a front. "I can tell you don't want me around, so I'll just skip to the point," she said with another forced sigh.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and leaned back against the door, generating an air of boredom and dismissal. "I would appreciate it," I told her honestly.

The first flash of anger passed through her mind and across her face, but she suppressed it quickly. She was definitely good, I had to give her that. Unfortunately for her, the one man she really wanted (namely me) could read her mind and therefore her true intentions. It made it much more difficult for her to charm me. "I'm sorry that I wasn't more helpful with easing Bella into this life. Maybe if I had helped, if I had been around you both more, you would have seen the good in me instead of the bad. Maybe you would have fallen in love with me instead of her," she said seriously.

The sad thing was that I could tell this was the truth. It wasn't really an apology though, it was a sad facsimile of one, but it was just another pathetic attempt at winning me over. It was never going to happen and this time I was going to give her one more chance to listen before I shut her out of my life forever.

I put my hands on her shoulders, squeezing them firmly. "Tanya, it was never going to happen between us. Bella was always meant to be the one for me. I _have_ always and _will_ always love her, there was never any other option for me. Do you understand this?"

Tanya's face crumpled and she threw her arms around my neck, clinging to me. With one hard jerk, she pulled me down onto the ground where she tangled herself around me, our limbs entwining, her fingers digging into my hair and dragging my mouth to hers for a hot open mouthed kiss. I was so stunned that by the time her true intentions had been made known, I was already wrapped in her arms and being sexually assaulted by her. I was trying to pry myself from her arms (she was surprisingly strong when she wanted something) when I heard the door swing open, followed by a gasp of horror.

I mustered up every bit of strength I had and wrenched myself out of her grasp, turning toward the door just in time to see Bella taking a step back into the hall. "Bella, this isn't what it looks like," I cried out, reaching out a hand toward her.

"I can't believe..." she sobbed, wrapping her arms around her stomach as though trying to hold herself together, "I actually started to think you were telling me the truth. I thought you wanted to wait to... you never really wanted me at all. Irina was right about you."

"No! She attacked me!" I said, getting to my feet and trying to grab her but she was too fast. Before I could reach her, she took off down the stairs. I followed after her, leaving Tanya and her victorious thoughts in the room behind me as I chased after the one thing in my life that I couldn't lose. "Bella, don't go, please!" I called after her.

"Stay away from me!" she screamed at me, covering her ears with her hands. "I don't want to hear any more of your lies!"

She ran out the front door, heading for the forest, but I was unable to follow her. Jasper threw an arm around me, restraining me from running out of the house. I spun to look at my brother, my fury causing me to throw a punch at him. He caught it easily and held my fist in his hand, holding me captive. "What in the hell are you doing? I need to go after her!" I yelled at him.

Alice stepped around him, her face drawn into a miserable frown. "You can't go after her, it would just make things worse," she said seriously, her arms wrapped around her body as if trying to hold herself together. She looked so horrified, so miserable that I was torn between wanting to comfort her and run after Bella. "I've already run through all the possible scenarios and every time one of us goes after her, no matter what is said, she either attacks us or just plain ignores us. Right now she isn't in the mood to listen to anyone, she doesn't trust any of us."

"What am I supposed to do? Let the only thing I really care about walk right out of my life?" I asked, clenching my fists as I tried to escape Jasper's firm grip on me.

Alice sent Jasper a desperate look, her thoughts asking for him to calm me down. I wanted to resist, but Jasper's gift was strong and I felt myself relaxing, the worry of Bella seeming to drain from me even as I tried to hold onto it. "Edward, she is going to wander for a few hours, but then she is going to head to Alaska to talk to Carmen. It is the best thing that she can do right now. If you go after her, she is just going to think that you are following her out of guilt and not love. You need to give her time to think and cool off. In the meantime, I'll call Kate and tell her to meet Bella halfway. In Bella's state of mind, I don't know what she is capable of. Thankfully Kate is quite fast and if she knows Bella needs her, she will find her before she goes too far."

I knew that what she was saying was true, and even a little grateful that she would have the idea to call Kate, but that didn't make me feel any less miserable. In a moment of sudden clarity I realized that Alice's vision regarding the two of us had come true. I had poured out my heart to Bella... and she had run away from me looking for all the world as if she had seen a monster. Earlier in the day, I hadn't thought that anything could be worse than Bella roaming the world without me. But watching her go with that horrified and heartbroken look on her face had been much, much worse.

"Dammit, Alice!" I groaned, straining against Jasper again as the reminder of my earlier fear washed over me. "What about that conversation you had with Bella this afternoon? She was going to leave me anyway, right? Is that the real reason you don't think I should go after her? Is this an easier way to lose her than the alternative?"

Alice took a step back from me, hurt coloring her eyes. "Edward, you have no idea what you are saying," she whispered.

"No?" I asked, gesturing to the doorway which Bella had run through only minutes before. "Are you saying that Bella wasn't telling you that she doesn't want to be tied down, that she wants to travel alone?"

"You left before the good part, you idiot!" she shouted at me, her worry for Bella etched into every anguished line of her face. She took a step toward me, pointing a finger in my chest. "She was never planning to go without you! She said that a permanent home meant nothing to her because she would be with you! Does that sound like someone who was planning to leave you at the first opportunity? Dammit, Edward, you are usually so much smarter than this. Why does anything having to do with Bella make you act so stupid?"

I flinched away from her, the anger draining from me. I had been so quick to believe the worst of Bella, to believe that the feelings were entirely one sided. I had doubted both Bella and Alice. "I'm sorry... I just... I feel so useless. I need to go after her, don't you understand? She ran away from me and here you are telling me that not only can I not go after her, I would be hurting both her and myself if I did. You might as well kill me now."

Alice sighed and punched my shoulder lightly. "Stop being so melodramatic. We have a lot of things to worry about right now, all right? You need to deal with Tanya and Irina and I need to call Kate. The sooner she gets out the door the better. Bella needs someone and it can't be one of us."

I knew she was right, I knew I was wasting time, but my emotions weren't entirely under my control. Watching the only person you will ever love run away from you can have that effect on a man. "I guess your visions_ are_ never wrong, Alice," I said miserably as I dropped my chin to my chest and felt the misery, the hopelessness and the devastation of my inability to fix what had happened.

"There is always hope," Jasper told me, "Nothing is ever set in stone."

"Will she forgive me?" I asked, wondering if I actually wanted to know the answer.

Alice took my hand in hers, squeezing it tight. "She loves you," she told me as a response. It wasn't an answer, but it was definitely a place to start.

When I got back upstairs to my room, Tanya and Irina were both sitting on my sofa, looking thoroughly pleased that their plan had worked. It was only due to Jasper's continued presence at my side that I didn't storm in and begin tearing them apart limb from limb. I was already out of my mind with worry about Bella and the trouble she could get into, I didn't particularly need to deal with the kind of crap Tanya and Irina were sending my way as well. Instead of attacking them like I wanted, I walked inside the doorway and just stood completely still, my arms folded across my chest so that I wouldn't feel the urge to snap one of their necks.

"So," I said stiffly, "I suppose the two of you are proud of yourselves?"

Irina's thoughts flashed back to her part in the plan, a part I had not understood until it unfolded in her mind. Apparently while I had been listening to Tanya's false apology, Irina had waylaid Bella on her way to speak to Alice. Unbeknownst to Irina, Bella was already fragile because of my plea to wait on our physical relationship and the fact that we had kept the treaty with the wolves a secret from her. It made her easy pickings for a few whispers concerning my trustworthiness. Irina had told her that she wasn't the first girl I had wooed this way and that after each one I went back to Tanya. Bella had run to talk to me, to convince herself that Irina had been lying. The timing couldn't have been more perfect on Tanya's part. When Bella had seen the "proof" that Irina had been telling the truth, her newborn side, her irrational and emotional side, had taken over and she had fled. She was literally running for her life, trying to hold herself together while the world around her fell apart. Honestly, if I pulled these two females apart limb from limb and slowly set fire to them while they watched, it would be too good a death for them.

"If she was so easily swayed, she obviously doesn't deserve you," Tanya said with a toss of her hair. "If you were mine and I had seen you with another girl, I wouldn't have gotten angry, I would have joined the party."

I bit my tongue, wanting to argue that she had done exactly the opposite. When she had seen that I was falling in love with Bella, Tanya had done everything in her power to get rid of her competition. That wasn't exactly fitting with the picture she had just painted. "But I don't belong to you do I?" I snapped at her, "so it doesn't matter what you would have done."

"I did her a favor," Irina said angrily, getting to her feet and pointing an accusing finger at me.

"Oh, by breaking her heart and destroying everything she believed? Is that the kind of favors you do for people?" I asked coolly, forcing myself to remain calm,"If so, remind me to never accept any favors from you."

Her eyes flashed and she gestured to Tanya who was still sitting on the sofa. "You have strung Tanya along for years, letting her believe that someday the two of you could be together. It wasn't fair to Tanya to watch you do it to someone else right under her nose. I was just letting Bella know what kind of man you really were."

I stepped forward then, coming face to face with a furious Irina. "For your information, it was Tanya that has been chasing after_ me_ for the past fifty years. For another thing, I am_ in love_ with Bella. I want to spent the rest of my life with her. Just this morning I planned to propose to her. If you think for one second that I will not destroy you for what you have put her through today, you are wrong."

Irina blanched then, stepping away from me with genuine fear in her eyes. "You wouldn't touch me. I'm part of your family! We go back for decades!"

"Just try me," I said coldly, "you might have cost me the one thing in my life that meant more to me than anything else. Family doesn't do that. As far as I'm concerned, you mean absolutely nothing to me. I'm doing you a favor by offering you a way out. I could kill you right now and only regret the pain it would cause Carmen and Eleazar. If I were you, I would run somewhere far away where you will never come across me again."

"She's just another female!" Tanya said, fear sparking her eyes for the first time since I had come back to the room. "Why do you care so much about her?"

"If you have to ask, you have never been in love," I said softly and then turned away, planning to head out the door where Jasper stood waiting for me. "By the way, if the two of you aren't gone in the next five minutes, I won't hesitate to inflict every bit of pain that I saw in Bella's eyes on each of you."

Without another hesitation I exited the room, leaving Jasper to make sure Tanya and Irina were properly escorted from the house. I just couldn't stomach looking at either of them any longer.


	13. Chapter Twelve: Forgiveness

A/N: Hello everyone! I just wanted to send all of you a huge thank you for reading with me so far! This will be the last chapter (followed by an epilogue sometime next week) and I hope I wrap up all of the loose ends. Also, just a reminder that the song Edward plays is "Turning Page" by Sleeping at Last (obviously the instrumental version). I bring this up because during this chapter especially there is a beautiful scene that really needs the extra level of this music to really tear at the heartstrings. To be honest... I listened to the song the entire time I was writing this chapter and I cried more than once *blush*

**Chapter Twelve: Forgiveness**

By the time that Alice, Jasper and I got on an airplane to Anchorage, I was emotionally and perhaps even mentally exhausted. It had been so difficult not to just bolt after Bella a dozen times between the hours from when she left and when we met with the wolves, but I had somehow been able to be strong for my family and had made it through. Not that the meeting with the wolves had gone badly, because it hadn't. Honestly, it had gone better than even I had expected.

After their initial shock of not seeing Bella with us and accepting that she had gone back to Alaska because she missed our friends there, things had actually gone quite well. They hadn't exactly given us permission to stay ( in fact they had stipulated that leaving the area was imperative) but Sam had told us that Bella had impressed upon them all that everyone makes mistakes, and we had been forgiven for ours to a point. As long as we left the area immediately and promised never to come back, they were going to keep both our secret and the treaty intact. It was what I had expected, but still a nice note to leave on. That is, it would have been if Sam hadn't taken me aside to speak with me privately after they had ordered us to leave.

"You love her, don't you?" Sam had asked me the moment we were alone together.

"Who?" I asked, blatantly playing dumb so that I didn't have to have this conversation. I was desperate to get to Seattle and be on the first possible plane to Anchorage. It was possible that I would beat Bella there, but that could only help my plan. I had my mothers ring in my pocket for the second time in twenty four hours and this time I knew exactly what I was going to say to her. Sam was holding me up, and it was making me irritable enough that any goodwill I felt towards him for letting us leave was quickly dimming.

"Chief Swan's daughter," Sam said seriously. "I could tell by the way you looked at her last week. It was the thing that made this decision for me. You made a mistake, but you tried to make the best of it and you ended up finding the best thing in your life."

By the end of his 'speech' I knew (from both his thoughts and his spoken words) that he was talking about himself and not about me, but the fact that he saw his situation in mine wasn't a bad thing. I could understand and appreciate that. "Yes," I admitted hurriedly, hoping my rushed words would let him know how impatient I was to get going, "I love her, more than anything in this world, and honestly I would do anything to keep her alive and happy."

"Then don't make any more mistakes with her. I know you didn't send her away. I could tell that something happened before we arrived. There was too much confusion and tension in your family to chalk it all up to the meeting with us," Sam said wisely. "If I were you, I wouldn't waste any time in fixing things. Give her my best will you? She is one of a kind."

I was surprised, even though I had known where this was going. Sam had actually taken me aside to give me advice? It had been the strangest part of my very long day, and that was saying something. "Thank you, I think she is pretty special myself," I told him, attempting to be civil while I was dying to get away. "Now, if I don't leave right this second, I might not be able to fix things at all."

"Go get her," Sam said, a rare smile breaking out on his face.

We shook hands then and went our separate ways. Within ten minutes we had arrived back at the house, packed it up into moving vans, and Carlisle and Esme had left for New York while Alice, Jasper and I had opted for Seattle. I had promised my parents that like Rosalie and Emmett were planning to do, I would meet them in New York in a few weeks and Bella would be at my side. It was the only option that I could give myself.

And as I sat beside Alice and Jasper, waiting for the plane to take off, I couldn't help but think about Sam and the Guard and the turbulence of the day. When Bella and I had watched the sun coming up over the mountains earlier that morning, snuggled up on my sofa, I could never had imagined that so many things could happen in a twenty four hour period. Not only had I nearly proposed, Bella had attempted to seduce me (and almost succeeded), Tanya and Irina had shown up on a pretense of helping, Tanya had then attempted to seduce me, Bella had seen us in a compromising position and had fled from me with a broken heart and then not only had the wolves kept the treaty intact, Sam had taken me aside to wish me the best with Bella. I couldn't have dreamed up a day like this if I had tried.

"So, has our decision to fly into Alaska changed the future?" I asked, teasing Alice with a forced levity. I knew that it had in certain ways: how could it not have? The question that I was really asking, and that Alice understood, was whether or not seeing me right off the bat when she arrived would give me an advantage or be a weakness.

Alice sat back thoughtfully, her hair fanning out on the headrest behind her. "It depends on whether or not she knows you are there," she said with an ever widening smile. I had to grin too, the plan that was building in her head was something that I could definitely get behind.

"After all, my scent is all over the house," I said smugly, "she won't realize I'm there until Kate has already had hours calming her down..."

"... and then," Alice said, continuing my thought, "she will be completely swept off her feet."

I paused as the plan formulated between us, even though we sat in near silence. The most important question was hanging on my tongue, and I wasn't sure that I should ask it, but I was unable to stop myself. "Will she say yes?"

Alice didn't answer, she just have me a smug little smile and shook her head. "No fair peeking into my head for that answer, Edward," she teased, "that is something you have to find out in the proper time and place."

I leaned back against my seat and closed my eyes, even though I couldn't sleep. "Well, you can't fault a guy for asking."

The only response I received was Alice's joyful laughter.

When we arrived at Carmen and Eleazar's home, it was nearing eight o'clock in the morning. Even if Bella had run straight here without stopping, which, given her mental state, was debateable, she wouldn't arrive for another few hours, maybe one or two in the afternoon at the earliest.

Carmen came running out to join us, her eyes belying their worry. Before they could speak, even though I already knew the answer, I had to ask. "Is Bella here yet?"

Carmen shook her head. "No, we haven't seen her since we left on our hunt. After Kate got your call, she just said she had to go and took off. She didn't even take time to explain what was going on."

"Good, we need to talk and I hoped that we would have time to set everything up before she arrives," I said darkly.

"What happened?" Carmen asked the moment I was done talking. "Carlisle called again after Kate left and said that you three were on your way. What is going on?" She seemed absolutely frantic. I knew how close she and Bella were and it pained me to see her like this. Before I could answer she shook her head and ushered us into the house. "No, it can wait until we get inside. We can talk about this in the living room where it is warm."

By the time we were all situated in the living room, seated on assorted chairs and sofas, Carmen was wringing her hands with worry, and I could tell in her thoughts that the worry extended to all of her children, Bella included. I felt guilty for what I would have to tell her about Tanya and Irina, but I hadn't been the one to make the choices they had made. The sisters had ruined things all on their own, and unfortunately one of the side effects would be a brokenhearted Carmen.

The woman I looked at as a beloved cousin was looking at me for answers that I wasn't sure how to give. How did you tell someone that their family members had disgraced themselves, that they had hurt someone else that they cared about? I wracked my brain trying to figure out how to say it, but luckily for me I didn't have to because Alice jumped in and saved me from the burden. "It was Tanya and Irina," Alice said sadly, knowing how hard it would be for Carmen to accept. "Tanya snuck into Edward's room and attempted to seduce him. Bella was supposed to be with me, but Irina somehow got to her first. She convinced Bella that Edward was lying to her, that he didn't really want her and that once he was done with her he would go back to Tanya. Since Bella had recently discovered that we were keeping something from her, this hit a nerve in her. She went to confront him and well..." she trailed off uncomfortably.

"Bella found the two of us in a compromising position," I said through clenched teeth. "She didn't even give me a chance to explain before she left."

"No!" Carmen said, putting her hands to her mouth as her eyes grew wide in horror, "I knew my girls had left Denali, but why would they do that to my sweet Isabella?"

"Tanya couldn't take no for an answer," Alice said shrugging her delicate shoulders, "If she couldn't have Edward, she couldn't handle Bella having him either."

Eleazar appeared in the doorway, looking concerned. "Did you say that our girls showed up at Carlisle's home?" he asked seriously.

Carmen turned to watch her husband walk into the room and sit on the arm of the chair she was occupying. "Eleazar? I can't believe they did this," she cried, putting a hand on his arm and clinging to him.

"Edward, where is Isabella?" he asked me, "What did my daughters say to her?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing would come out. This was the first time I was so upset that I couldn't even speak. Instead I turned to Alice, my eyes begging her to say what I couldn't. She seemed to understand because she patted my shoulder and gave me a pitying look. "As I told Carmen, Tanya and Irina must have had some sort of plan. Tanya attempted to seduce Edward and Irina goaded Bella, telling her that Edward would never stay faithful to her..." she trailed off with another delicate shrug, "When Bella went to ask him about what Irina had said, she found the two of them wrapped in each others arms. Tanya attacked him, knocking him to floor at just the right moment for Bella to see them together."

Carmen gave me a sympathetic look, but Eleazar looked shocked and pained. "She was obviously devastated by that," Carmen said with a sigh, "I can understand why she ran. She needed time to think. That must have been when you called for Kate."

"I wanted to go after her myself, but Alice told me that I would make things worse. Watching her leave and knowing that her faith in me was completely broken was the worst moment of my life," I said in a choked whisper, looking down at my hands that were splayed in my lap. It didn't hurt any less now than it had yesterday afternoon. I just hoped that by the time Bella arrived, she would be willing to listen and understand my story. I regretted now that I hadn't proposed when I had first thought of it, but that was going to be remedied as soon as I could manage. Now it was time to get everything in motion. Luckily for me, everyone here loved Bella as much as I did.

"So, instead of letting her wander alone, I called Kate as soon as I could. She intercepted her near the Canadian/Washington border and has been trying to calm her down ever since. I knew that Kate was the only person Bella would trust," Alice said, trying to fill in all of the missing holes for Carmen and Eleazar.

"That explains about Kate's disappearance, but where did Tanya and Irina go? Why are they not with you?" Carmen asked, her eyes wide with concern. Even though her daughters had done something terrible, she still loved them and worried about them.

Alice's face fell into another grim frown. "They decided to spend some time traveling. It was in their best interests as well as ours."

There was a painful, aching silence as everyone digested the information that Alice and I had relayed to them. Finally Carmen spoke up, her voice strong and determined. "So, Alice must have seen that Kate would bring Bella back here. What is your plan for when they arrive?"

Alice perked up at this, standing up and grinning at everyone. "Carmen, Eleazar, would you mind giving us the house for the afternoon? I'm not sure exactly which future will come to be, but I know that Edward and Bella will need their privacy."

Carmen smiled at me, her eyes soft with warmth and understanding. "Anything you need, Edward, and it is yours."

I smiled back at her, a sudden idea flashing through my mind. "That is good to know, because there are a few things that I might need..."

"...Edward, you need to relax. When Kate gets back with Bella you need to be ready," Alice told me as I paced around the living room.

I ran a hand through my hair, mussing it into tangles. I had never been so worried in my life, not even during the three days I had waited to know if Bella was going to make it through the transformation. My entire future, my whole life, was riding on the question of whether or not I could convince Bella to listen to me. Of course, if Alice was right, getting her to listen to me wasn't the problem: it was saying just the right thing. Everything was riding on this.

"What if I mess up? I can't live without her," I said shortly, feeling so full of energy that I couldn't sit still. It wasn't a problem I usually had. Bella brought out my human side in ways that I hadn't felt in years.

"She feels the same way," Alice said sagely. "It's why she was so hurt when she saw you with Tanya."

I felt a small burst of hope within me. Maybe it wasn't too late to fix things after all. This led to an idea, a brilliant idea, one that I was almost certain would work. "Thank you for that," I said with a soft smile. "It's the only thing that is keeping me going. But right now I have a small problem. I need you to ask Jasper if everything here can be relocated to the music room."

Alice's eyes grew wide as my change of plans changed the vision in her head. "Oh..." she whispered softly, a tender smile flitting across her lips, "That is perfect."

With that reaction to guide me, I left the front parlor, rushed across the house to the music room, sat down at the piano and stretched out my fingers. If Bella was looking for just the right words, I wouldn't say anything at all. I would just let the music remind her of how I felt. If the song that I composed couldn't do that, I hadn't done a good enough job.

While I began playing, reacquainting myself with the piece, Alice and Jasper began bringing in items that we had set up in the living room. "You know, I think I agree with you on this," Alice said as she pulled the curtains closed in all of the windows in the room, "playing her song is definitely the way to soften her up. Also, the music room is much more remote. Why didn't I think of this to begin with?"

"You can't always be the one with all the bright ideas," I teased her, feeling the tension drain out of me and into the song as I played, "you have to leave a few for the rest of us sometimes."

Alice laughed and kissed my cheek as she danced past me on her way to get the rest of the items that would be set up for Bella's enjoyment. I felt like laughing myself. My entire outlook on this plan had changed the minute I decided to play a song for her. It was probably because I began to personalize it and make it about the two of us and not just any seduction attempt. Though, by calling it a seduction attempt I was cheapening it. It was more like the most elaborate apology slash proposal that had ever been attempted. I just hoped that it worked.

Alice and Jasper had just finished putting the final touches on the room when I heard Kate's thoughts screaming at me from the edge of the woods surrounding their home. I instantly stopped playing the piano, stopped breathing, stopped moving entirely and focused my entire being on Kate and Bella.

_"She is still upset, but after I explained what I think happened, she seemed to have calmed down quite a bit,"_ Kate told me, relief in her thoughts. _"Thankfully she doesn't seem to realize that anything is going on and since she asked me if she could call you guys when we got to the house, I think she wants to apologize for running off so suddenly."_

The tension left my body, but I still didn't move an inch. Any little thing could ruin this moment and I needed it to be absolutely perfect in every way. When I heard the doorway crack open and the hushed voices of Kate and Bella, I felt as though my frozen heart were about to jump out of my chest. An entire day had passed since I had seen Bella and our parting had been the stuff of nightmares. I turned my face upward and prayed for the first time since becoming a vampire. I prayed desperately for the chance to redeem myself in Bella's eyes, for the chance to fix what had been broken. I prayed for the hope that she still loved me.

Thankfully, Kate seemed to have sensed that we had moved everything from the living room to the music room because I heard the two girls walk down the hallway toward the door that I was waiting behind. "I'll go and get you the phone," I heard Kate say, and I knew that it was time to put my plan into action.

I took a deep breath, placed my fingers on the piano keys and began to play Bella's song. I heard her gasp of surprise a moment before she cracked open the door and then gasped again. "Edward?" she breathed, stepping into the room with wide and wondrous eyes, "how... why...?"

She put a hand to her mouth as she surveyed the room, and I knew that I had been right to play her song for her as a welcome home. I didn't turn to look at her as she walked around the room, taking in the bouquets of flowers, lupine and tulips, that were both in vases and had petals strewn across the floor. There were candles of all shapes and sizes, both in candlesticks and in glass jars on every available surface. When Alice had closed all the windows the room had become pitch black, lit only by the flames of the candles. It was a romantic scene, but one that wasn't overwhelming. It was just a show of my feelings.

The notes flowed from the piano, ringing triumphantly around the room as though they were celebrating our love just by being played. By the time I got to the end of the song, Bella had sat down shakily on the piano bench next to me, her shoulders heaving in tearless sobs. "I want to explain what happened with Tanya," I began the moment the last notes faded from the room,"I know what it looked like, but I swear that I wasn't a willing participant..."

Bella stopped me, pressing her fingers to my lips. I looked up into her eyes and saw all the love in the world contained within them. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, humbled both by her apparent forgiveness..

"Kate and I talked for a long time, and she told me that even though she wasn't there when it happened, she knew that there was no way that what I saw could be the truth. She explained all about Tanya's obsession with you through the years, so you don't need to apologize." She took a deep breath, steeling herself. "But I do. I'm sorry I ran away like that," she whispered, pushing her face into my neck and breathing in deeply, taking in my scent as though she had been away from me for weeks or months instead of a day. "I'm sorry I ran away without even listening to what you had to say in your defense. It's just, when I saw Tanya on top of you, when Irina's horrible words seemed to be true... Well, I was scared that maybe everything you had told me, everything that we had shared, was a lie. I couldn't deal with that."

I took my chances and turned to her, taking her face in my hands so that I could look at her in the candlelight. Damned if she wasn't more beautiful in that light than she had ever been before. "Bella, I have never lied to you, not once," I told her seriously. "I may not have told you every detail from my past, or withheld something that I thought might worry you unnecessarily, but nothing I have ever told you has been a lie. If you thought that I didn't love you or want to spend forever with you... well, you are insane. I especially don't want you thinking that I was ever interested in Tanya as anything more than a cousin. I never loved her, never desired her. You are the only one I have ever cared for this way. You are my entire life, everything I want or need. I need you to believe that."

Bella laughed, but I could hear the sobs in it. "Can you ever forgive me for doubting you?" she asked tearfully.

I pulled her against my chest and buried my face in her hair. I breathed in her scent just as she had done with me. Honestly, a day was much, much too long to go without her. Even if she didn't agree to marry me, I knew now that I would never be able to let her leave me. "Only if you forgive me for what you saw. I know it wasn't my fault, but I feel guilty for not just tossing her out of my room the moment I knew what she was trying to do. I thought that I could convince her to give up her ridiculous need to have me at any cost. I should have known it was impossible, but I wanted to do it for us, so that we could have a future together without her interference," I explained, squeezing her tight against me. It felt so good to hold her again.

"You didn't have to explain, but I'm glad you did," she admitted with that same half-laugh, half-sob, "and honestly, I think I could forgive you for anything right now. Just as long as you never let me walk away from you again."

I kissed the top of her head. "I will never, never let that happen. In fact, that is something I wanted to talk to you about, but not before I answer any questions that you may have for me. Anything at all."

She pulled away from me then, looking into my eyes with surprise and pleasure. "You would really do that for me? Tell me anything I wanted to know?"

I laughed and nodded. "Bella, I love you more than anything in the world. I want you to trust me, so yes, you can ask me anything your little heart desires."

A soft smile crept onto her lips and she shook her head. "If you want to tell me, you can, but I don't need to know about your past, or about any past you may have had with Tanya. I already know the most important thing," she said and curled back up against my chest.

"Oh, what is that?" I asked, touched that she would trust me that way. It wasn't something that I expected, but it was something that I appreciated. It meant that we could have a future together.

"The fact that I love you and nothing is going to change that, and knowing that you love me back... it is all that I really need to know," she said honestly.

I didn't even know how to respond to that. It was the best gift I had ever been given. It made me want to give her something just as good in return. I decided that with our declarations of love, with this new trust between us, it was the perfect time to propose a formal union. So, I moved from her side and dropped to one knee, pulling the ring box out of my pocket and placing it on the piano bench next to her.

"Bella, I'm glad you said that, because I'm going to do something I've been wanting to do for weeks now. Honestly, I don't really know how to start this, because I've never felt this way in my entire life. I know that we have only known each other for a few months, I know that our relationship is still new and fresh... but for us that won't ever change," I began nervously, feeling my hand shaking as I opened the ring box to show Bella my mother's ring. "Carlisle once told me that emotional changes don't happen very often in a vampires life. We can learn, but forming new attachments isn't something that comes easy. Once we feel those changes, they remain with us forever. Bella, I love you now and I will love you forever, more and more with every day that passes. I know that you don't particularly like the idea of marriage, and if you wanted to wait, I would wait forever for you. But to me, marriage is more than just a piece of paper that says we are formally bound to each other. It is a promise, a vow that we make to each other, to love each other, honor each other, and cherish each other."

I realized I was rambling, but I couldn't seem to help myself. The words had just come pouring out of me in a flood of emotions. Before I could embarrass myself any further, I decided to get to the point. "Bella, I need to know... will you do me the honor of making that vow? Will you marry me?"

I held my breath as I waited for her answer. If she said no... well, I would accept that and I would stay with her. What we had was more important that losing her. I would even be willing to stretch my moral code... maybe. It would depend on what she said, if she ever answered me.

Bella took her own sweet time in answering my question. She looked down at the ring, at her hand, at me, at the room all decked in candles and flowers. She even looked like she wanted to cry at one point, but finally she stepped away from the piano bench and knelt down next to me, taking my mothers ring box and placing it in my hand. "If I say yes, will you travel the world with me? Would you be willing to give up the permanence of a home for me? At least for a few years?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with happiness.

I let out the breath I had been holding and forced myself not to pull her into my arms, shout for joy and spin her around the room. "Bella, my only love, I would follow you anywhere. You are never going to get rid of me again."

She smiled then and moved closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Edward, I love you more than I ever thought possible. Of course I will marry you."

I couldn't resist any longer, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her as though I was never going to let her go... and I never really would.


	14. Epilogue: Paris (18 Months Later)

A/N: All right everyone, here is the end of the story! I hope you enjoyed the ride :)

**Epilogue: Paris (18 Months Later)**

"Do you think he is actually going to show up?" Bella asked nervously, smoothing down her silk skirt for the dozenth time since we had arrived at the cafe.

I looked across the table at my beautiful wife and I couldn't help but grin. Ever since she had sent her father Charlie the plane ticket to Paris and asked him to join her there, she had been worried that he either wouldn't show up - or that he would and he would bring the police. I had tried to reassure her, as had Alice, numerous times, but I could tell that no amount of coddling would help her feel any better until she had seen her father and solved the "mystery" of her disappearance.

Instead of trying to comfort her yet again, I reached underneath the table and took her hand in mine, rubbing my finger over the ring that she wore that signified her as belonging entirely to me. "You look absolutely radiant, Bella," I told her, bringing her hand up to brush her knuckles with a kiss.

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she was pleased. Every day I got a little bit better at reading her expressions. Sometimes she would even roll back her Shield to let me read her thoughts, though those were infrequent times at best. She and Kate were still working with her Shield, but she seemed to get a little bit better with it every day. I was so proud of her. Her strength and grace amazed me. In the year that we had been married, every day had been an adventure. It was blissful, a perpetual honeymoon. I just hoped that it could last the rest of our very long lives.

"Alice said that the weather should stay snowy, right?" Bella asked in the same nervous way that she had been acting since we arrived in Paris.

"It's Christmas Eve in Paris and there will be snow for the next three days. Alice is never wrong when it comes to the weather," I reminded her, "and your father will definitely be here. He hasn't been satisfied with just letters for the past two years."

Bella groaned and slumped back in her chair. I had to stifle a laugh at her very human reaction. It was so charming and yet so out of place in the clothes that Alice had picked out for her. She looked like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's closet. "I still can't believe you let Alice dress me up in this silk thing," she said with a sigh, "it's so impractical, even with the fur coat."

I shrugged and pretended to sip the coffee that we had ordered from the waiter on our arrival. "It is Paris, and Alice couldn't bear to let you walk around in your favorite jeans when this city calls for elegance. At least this way you look like a fashionable lady," I teased.

Bella made a face and leaned over the table to whisper in my ear. "Yes, but you like me best when I'm wearing nothing at all."

My body reacted to her teasing words, I couldn't help myself. Yes, we had been married for a year but that didn't stop me from wanting to bury myself in my wife's delicious little body at every available opportunity. "Or that delightful little black lace number," I murmured back.

She laughed and straightened up, giving my knee a little pat. "Maybe if you are a good boy today we can see what we can find at that boutique Alice wants to drag us to this afternoon."

I grinned back at her. "That sounds like a very enjoyable way to spend this afternoon. Unless Alice is wrong and Charlie decides he wants to spend this evening with you."

Bella looked thoughtful as she gazed down into her coffee cup. "Charlie has surprised me before. I didn't expect that he would come all the way to France to see me again. I guess he just doesn't like unsolved mysteries."

"Or he is your father and he loves and misses you," I said quietly. Then I looked up and I noticed a figure approaching the Cafe that looked distinctly out of place. "Speaking of which, he is on his way here now. Are you sure you want me to stay nearby?"

She nodded, squeezing my knee as her nerves came back full force. "I don't think I can do this on my own," she said through clenched teeth.

"Kate will come out of the cafe in a moment and she will be at your side the entire time," I said, putting my hand over hers and patting it gently. "Just stick to the story and don't embellish it."

I had to admit that I wasn't fully on board with her plan to keep her human family in her life, mostly because I didn't know them and wasn't sure whether or not they could be trusted to believe our story. It was a chance I had to take though. I loved Bella enough that I would give her whatever she wanted, no matter how dangerous it may be. Hopefully she was right, and her father would accept it all and be grateful she was still alive.

When Alice gave me the signal that Charlie was coming, I squeezed Bella's hand and walked across the street to where Alice was waiting at a tiny bakery. I watched from the window as Kate stepped out of the cafe, taking my seat next to Bella and then gave me the thumbs up. Wordlessly, Alice stepped to my side and we both watched as Charlie approached the cafe. Bella stood up a little too quickly, her nerves obvious for anyone around her to see, but not so quickly that she gained the suspicion of anyone around her. "Dad," she said, her hands reaching out slightly in front of her, "I'm happy to see you."

I was listening in through both Kate and Charlie's thoughts, hoping that the two girls could handle the situation without me. Charlie looked as though he were seeing a ghost, and even from across the street I could see tears glistening in his eyes. "Bells, is that really you?" he asked, reaching a hand out to her. His thoughts were cautious, unsure of how to react to seeing his daughter that had apparently run away from him after only one day together. He wanted to hug her, to pull her into his arms, but he worried that she might refuse him. Holding out a hand was the most hope he could give himself.

Bella shook as she reached out her own hand to him, clutching it in hers. Charlie shuddered. "Bells, your skin is freezing. Have you been waiting outside for me this whole time?"

She shrugged, taking her hand back and biting her lip as she looked at Kate. She stepped in, putting a comforting hand on Bella's shoulder. I wished desperately that it could have been me with her, but since Kate hadn't been involved in her disappearance, had never even been to Forks, she was the better choice."We should get inside out of the cold. Would you like to join us, Mr. Swan?" Kate asked politely.

Charlie took notice of her for the first time, looking at Kate as though he was trying to place her face. When he couldn't, he shook his head to clear it and gave her a hesitant smile. "Are you the roommate she mentioned?" he asked.

That had been another white lie that Bella had told him. We hadn't wanted him to know about me or to freak out about her young marriage and running away, so when she wrote to him she told him that she had met a girl on the road and her family had treated her well. Kate just nodded in response to his question and led him to the door of the cafe. I bristled a bit as they headed for the door, knowing that when I could no longer see them, I would have to focus on seeing the interaction from Kate's mind.

"My name is Katrina, but you can call me Kate," she said, omitting a surname because she hadn't used one in centuries.

"It's nice to meet you Kate. Bella has written a lot of wonderful things about your family," Charlie said a bit stiffly as he walked past Kate and into the warm building, effectively shutting me out of the visuals.

I felt Alice's hand on my shoulder and her thoughts brushing against my mind._ "She is going to be okay, Edward. I promise."_

I put my hand over hers and squeezed, letting her know that I trusted her. "I guess we should get going if I'm going to be able to surprise her later," I said, turning a smile on my sister. Alice just beamed at me in response.

We walked around the corner to a little jewelry store that Alice and I had been to once before, about fifteen years ago. It was close enough to the cafe that I felt comfortable with the knowledge that I could be at Bella's side in a minute if I was needed, but still far enough away that Charlie wouldn't accidentally spot us and guess what had really happened to Bella last March.

Thankfully when we entered the jewelry store (which catered to a very select clientele) the jeweler was not the one who had helped us during our last visit. It wasn't likely that the elderly gentleman I remembered would be able to recognize Alice and I, but it was a possibility, and so I was relieved to see a pretty young woman behind the glass counter.

"Bienvenue," she said warmly as we reached the counter, but she gauged our appearance and quickly switched to speaking English in a softly accented voice. "Is there something special you are shopping for today?"

I glanced at Alice and she nodded at me, her thoughts filled with Bella's pleased face when she saw her Christmas gift. Bolstered by this, I flashed my most brilliant smile on the young saleswoman. "Actually yes, I'm here for something very special today. A week from today I will be celebrating my first Christmas with my wife since our marriage and I need a gift that will make her feel as though I'm giving her the world on a platter."

The sales woman's thoughts grew shrewd as she realized how much money Alice and I were willing to spend on this purchase. Her smile didn't betray these thoughts though, she remained cooly professional and yet warm and welcoming at the same time. "Is there a certain type of jewelry you have in mind? A bracelet perhaps or even a matching set of earrings and a necklace?"

I shook my head, Bella wasn't really a fan of earrings of any kind and I wasn't interested in something as simple as that. "I'm looking for something unique, one of a kind if possible," I said, thinking about how special Bella was, how much she deserved something that no one else had. I wanted to give her the world on a silver platter, just like I had told the jeweler. I just had to find that perfect item.

"Does the lady in question have a favorite gemstone?" the saleswoman asked curiously, and her thoughts were running through all the possibilities in the store and the type of gems that they had in stock.

"Garnet," I answered automatically, calling to mind the rich red stone that Bella was so fond of, "but I was thinking about something perhaps with pearls or diamonds. Something that brings winter to mind, if possible."

The light in the sales woman's eyes when I mentioned winter was exactly what I had been hoping for. She excused herself to the stock room and within a flash she was back, cradling a small velvet box in her hands. "This is something special," she said eagerly, showing just a trace of the enthusiasm she had been trained to keep locked away as a sales person. "We have recently received a handful of pieces based on the seasons from an up and coming artist who specializes in working with precious stones and metals. When you said 'winter' this was the first thing that came to mind." She then opened the box to show us the necklace she had brought from storage and even though I had already seen it in her mind, the beauty of the delicate piece took my breath away.

It was a small pendant, just larger than a nickel in diameter and made of pure platinum. The design was of a snowflake, delicate and airy with differently cut diamonds making up each of the crystalline spines of the flake. There was also a small pearl in the center that set the whole design off perfectly. It was a beautiful reminder of the first home we had shared, the place we had discovered our friendship and our love. It was perfect.

"I'll take it," I said.

The saleswoman beamed at me. "Will that be cash or credit?"

By the time that Alice and I were done at the jewelry store, I was chomping at the bit to make my way back to Bella's side. We made our way back to the bakery just in time to watch Bella hug Charlie and send him off in a taxi. I watched as she and Kate chatted for a moment and then walked across the street to us, brilliant smiles on their faces. When Bella finally entered the bakery, she was so filled with smiles that my irritation at spending part of our honeymoon away from her evaporated.

"Thank you for letting me see him," she said as she wrapped her arms around me. "It meant a lot to me."

"Anything that makes you happy makes me happy," I told her honestly, squeezing her as tight as I could to make up for the last half an hour apart.

A few minutes later we all left the bakery together, hailing a taxi back to the hotel. Yes, Alice had finally convinced Bella to check into a five star hotel near the Eiffel Tower. Not that it had taken much convincing once I reminded her that this was the honeymoon we hadn't yet had. Having a bed at our disposal was something she was very much interested in, so Alice had gotten her wish.

All in all, it had gone much better than we had imagined, and Bella was happier than she had been in weeks. And like I had told her before: anything that made her happy made me happy.

Later that night as Bella and I lay in bed together, our legs and arms still entangled from the rather energetic bout of lovemaking we had just shared, I couldn't help but reflect on how much different my life was from how it had been two years ago.

I pressed a kiss to the bare skin of Bella's collarbone, loving the way she sighed at my slightest touch. "I love you," I whispered against her skin, brushing my lips along her neck.

She smiled at me, tracing my cheek with her fingers. "How am I so lucky? I've experienced more love in the past two years than most people get in a lifetime."

I kissed her lips tenderly, a kiss full of all the love I had for her. "No, Bella, I'm the lucky one. I was living a life of drudgery; of endless night with only a few dim stars to light my way. When I met you... I never could have believed that such a terrible mistake could finally pull me from the darkness. You were like a sunrise, bringing hope and joy and love to a life that had precious little of it. When I fell in love with you, my life finally began."

Her lips quivered, her eyes shone brightly with love for me. "Well then, how do I argue with that?" she asked.

"You could always just give me your rebuttal in the form of sexual favors," I teased, nipping at her ear.

She laughed, pulling my lips to hers for a long and thorough kiss. "Mmm, yes, I could do that, but aren't you interested in what I bought you for Christmas? It is almost midnight now, so I figure it is close enough to Christmas day."

"It can wait until later," I said, burying my face in her neck and kissing my way down her body. I was eager to give her my gift as well, but it could wait. My hunger for her body was more overwhelming than my excitement at giving her a present.

She sighed happily, knotting her fingers in my hair. "We do have forever don't we?"

"Yes," I whispered, "and I look forward to every minute of it."

As the clock struck midnight signalling Christmas day, I reveled in the joy of loving my wife, my partner, my greatest gift in the world. Forever could never be long enough for me to really get my fill of her, but it was definitely a start.


	15. Outtake 1

**A/N:** Hey everyone! I bet you didn't expect to see another update, huh? Well, I got to thinking and talking with my husband and I was telling him how disappointed I was that I couldn't share some of my earlier ideas for the story with you all. When he asked why I couldn't, I realized that I absolutely could... in the form of Outtakes! This first scene is one that I did back when the story only had one chapter and I was really uncertain of where the story was going (at one point I had a huge kidnapping plot involving the wolves, never would have worked out) but I really love the emotions in it. I'm sure you'll see that I tried to keep some of the dialogue intact for what became "Chapter Seven" but this scene had some potential that never got to see the light of day. Well, I am sharing it with you now (completely unedited), hope you enjoy! Oh, and I have at least one more Outtake to share with you all later :) (This scene was written back in 2010... scary!)

**Outtake #1 or "First Kiss"**

"What's on the agenda for today, Monopoly, Life or Pay Day?" I asked as I sorted through the games in the closet. Edward and I were spending the afternoon together, just as we had every day since Tanya's family had gone on an extended hunting trip. "If we are playing Monopoly, I want to be the hat."

I turned to look at Edward and see what his reaction might be to me claiming his favorite piece. He didn't look put out or even eager to play one of the many games that Tanya's family had stashed away. I could understand his reluctance, we had spent every day of the past week playing board games and it was getting a little old.

"Actually, I had something else in mind for today," he said in a cautious tone that immediately put me on my guard.

"Alice and Jasper are watching a movie downstairs; did you want to join them?" I asked, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. I had been with Edward and his family for close to three months now, but I still didn't know them as well as I wished I did. It wasn't as though there was going to be a lack of time to get to know them, but it was still unnerving to be living in a world I didn't understand with people I didn't really know.

Edward had become my friend though, as strange as that thought would have seemed when I first became a member of his secret world. Though, friend might not have been the right word. Ever since my disastrous hunting trip with Edward, Alice and Jasper a month ago, things had seemed different between us. It seemed like Edward and I were dancing around the edges of a big change that was headed straight for us. Any day now our relationship was going to shift into something else… I was just afraid of what it might be.

"No, I don't want to join Alice and Jasper," he said seriously. He rolled off the sofa he had been lounging on and he walked toward me slowly, knowing that I wouldn't be able to stop myself from reacting if he came at me too fast.

"Then what do you want?" I was confused now and confusion didn't work well for me. I became jumpy and quick to run at the first sign of provocation. I didn't want to run from Edward or the others, but I was incapable of controlling myself. It made life difficult on all of us.

"Bella, would you mind if I tried something?" Edward asked me, taking another step toward me. His eyes were gentle but there was also something else there that unsettled me. It was hunger.

The hunger confused me for a moment while I tried to rationalize my scrambled thoughts. Why would he be looking at me with hunger in his eyes? I wasn't human; I couldn't possibly tempt him that way any longer and… oh. It wasn't that kind of hunger.

I fought my natural instinct to flee and instead I held my ground. I had to remind myself that this was Edward and though my fragile and heightened emotional state was working against me, I suddenly realized that I wanted to be his more than anything in the world. This was the change that we were headed towards and I only now understood that this was what I had wanted from the beginning.

My mind and body refused to cooperate with each other though. I was poised for flight while simultaneously waiting to see what Edward wanted to do. It was the hunger in his eyes that made everything so much more difficult to deal with. I knew how to react to an angry Edward, or a gentle one, but this hungry sort of wanting made me nervous. It didn't matter that I knew he wouldn't hurt me; it was fear of the unknown that was going to send me flying out of here if he took another step toward me.

I began to shake, fear and indecision clouding my rational mind and making me feel like the newborn I was. I hated that feeling! It was making it so hard to get what I wanted, even when what I wanted was right in front of me, being offered up on a silver platter. I wished that I were like the others here, able to control my emotions and needs. It was so frustrating making stupid mistakes while they all looked at me sympathetically.

"Edward…" I moaned piteously, unable to make up my mind about whether I should agree to this or not. I wanted to agree! I wanted to let him try anything he wanted as long as he stayed close to me. Unfortunately I wasn't rational enough to do that.

His eyes softened even more, understanding exactly the dilemma that faced me now. "Just hold still, I'll come toward you slowly and I swear I won't hurt you," he promised me.

I nodded, forcing myself to stay completely still though my eyes followed Edward's every step towards me. He was incredibly slow and careful, seeming to have all the time in the world to reach my side. When his hands finally settled themselves on my shoulders I felt myself relax a bit, this wasn't so hard after all. It felt nice to feel the weight of his hands on my arms.

I smiled up at him and he positively beamed back at me. There was nothing in the world that compared to Edward when he was happy. It was like the sun shining out at me from his face. "This feels nice," I said with a contented sigh.

"Bella, I want you to put your hands on my shoulders, all right?"

I hesitated for a moment before I let myself touch him. This was something I had dreamed of doing since that day I had seen him coming back from his hunt with Tanya. His skin had sparkled so brightly in the reflection of the sun off the snow; I had wanted to see if the feel of him could compare to the sight. Now he was telling me it was okay and I wanted it badly.

The moment my hands came to rest on his shoulders he pulled me in a little closer to his body, we were almost touching. I wondered what he would do if I pushed myself all the way into his arms and wrapped myself around him. I was quickly realizing that for the past several months since I had become a vampire I hadn't had much physical contact of any kind. Well, unless you counted Alice's restraining arms, and I didn't really think that counted.

"Edward?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Bella?" His eyes were such a beautiful liquid gold that I lost myself in them for a moment. Dammit, I was getting distracted again!

"W-would you mind if I hugged you?" I kept my eyes down in case he denied me. I didn't expect him to want my touch as badly as I wanted and feared his. He was probably wondering how to refuse me, while at the same time thinking that I didn't know how to make up my mind. Which was true, I honestly had no idea how to keep my thoughts and feelings consistent from one moment to the next. It was probably going to be the death of me.

"Look at me," Edward commanded gently. I slowly raised my eyes to his and was surprised not to see frustration or amusement in the golden depths. He moved his hand to my cheek and stroked my skin with absolute tenderness. "I would like nothing more than to feel your arms around me."

Timidly I moved my hands from his shoulders and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling myself against his chest. I pressed my face into his shirt, unable to look up at him and see if the contact of our bodies was as overwhelming to him as it was to me. I wanted to feel his arms around me, to know for sure that he wanted me to be right where I was. It didn't matter that he had said he wanted me close, words didn't mean anything if they weren't backed up by actions.

I waited for several eternal moments, trying to convince myself to move away from him but knowing that I would stay until he pushed me away. When I couldn't take the waiting anymore I tore my gaze away from his chest and looked up into his eyes.

The longing and need in his eyes was so intense that I tried to back away, but Edward wasn't going to let that happen. He snatched me back to his chest, burying his face in my hair. "Please, put your arms around me again," he begged me hoarsely.

I immediately complied, letting myself enjoy the moment. Nothing I had ever felt could compare to this, to being held by Edward. I rested my head against his chest and breathed in the scent of him. It was sunshine and chocolate and laughter, everything good in the world was contained in his scent. I loved it.

"Was this what you wanted to try?" I asked him, letting my fingers trace a pattern on his shirt.

"Not exactly," he murmured, "But this was a good first step toward the goal."

I looked up and his eyes met mine, the hunger was back but I steeled myself against running from him. If I retreated now I would never have the courage to give Edward another chance. Losing him was unthinkable, so I had to fight my instincts in order to keep going.

"What do you want?" I asked again, wetting my lips with my tongue in my nervousness.

Edward's eyes followed the movement of my tongue with seeming fascination that was accompanied by a growl of need when I stopped. "Bella," he moaned, his hand sliding to the back of my neck.

I stopped breathing, stopped moving, stopped everything that would possibly divert him from what he was about to do. I knew he was about to kiss me and I realized that it was what I wanted more than anything I had ever wanted before. It seemed that every touch we shared just made me want more and more. It was a craving now, a craving for anything he would give me.

"Please," I begged. It was barely more than a whisper but he must have sensed that my need for him was matching his own need for me.

He groaned just one word before our lips met, but it was the most beautiful word I had ever heard, rough with need, desire and promise, "Yes."

I was expecting something hard and powerful, but the touch of his lips on mine was surprisingly gentle. They moved against mine with tenderness and longing, but the driving need I had felt in him only moments before had disappeared. I wasn't sure if it was what I wanted or not. Soon I couldn't think at all.

I tentatively put my arms around his neck and kissed him back, letting all of the wanting I had felt over the past few months pour into our kiss. Edward kept it light and sweet, his lips only sampling the feast I was desperate to give him.

All too soon he lifted his head away from mine and looked into my eyes again. It stunned me to see that the need I thought had vanished had only increased. There was a fire in the gold that should have scared me, but didn't. I was seeing now that he had held back on our kiss because of me. He knew that I was all emotion right now and that rational thought had no place in my mind. "I don't want to take advantage of you," he said, his voice raspy with restrained passion.

"Edward, I want to be with you," I responded and before he could react I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him with all the passion I could muster.

He groaned into my mouth, surrendering to the feelings that had taken over us. The lips that had touched so cautiously before were now feasting on the other; tongues clashed and dueled, making me shiver with the deliciousness of it. The smell of him was nothing in comparison to the taste of him. It was like honey, the sweetest thing in the world, and I craved more of it.

I fisted my hands in his shirt and pulled him even closer to me, but it still wasn't enough. My body had gone into auto-pilot, it moved without my having any conscious thought of it. I felt Edward's hand in my hair, holding my lips to his with a vice grip. It was only when I began to wonder where his other hand had gone that I pulled away with a gasp of real fear.

"Bella?" Edward asked cautiously, his breath coming in sharp pants.

I straightened from my crouched defensive position and tried to remember what had made me pull away from him. When the memory of his hand on my bare back flashed before my eyes I felt that burst of fear again.

While it was true that our kiss had been as intimate as any, I hadn't been expecting to feel his touch on my bare skin. It was as if he had broken some rule that I hadn't known I had. "I wasn't expecting…" How would he understand when I didn't understand myself?

"Come back, I won't hurt you," he promised. The lure of his arms was too great; I dashed back across the room and let him hold me again. "I'm sorry if I moved too quickly for you, I've never actually kissed anyone before."

"Tanya kisses you all the time," I reminded him, feeling incredibly hostile toward the memory. It had always bothered me, but since Edward didn't belong to me I couldn't say anything. Had our afternoon together changed that? Would I have a say in how Tanya acted toward him? It felt too soon to ask him about it even though it was obvious that there was no going back. We had fallen right over the edge of change and it was done now. He and I could never just be friends again.

"Tanya may kiss me, but have you ever seen me kiss her back?" he asked, bringing me out of my thoughts and back into the conversation.

"What do you mean? You never push her away," I pointed out, clearly not understanding much about kissing.

Edward chuckled and pressed his lips lightly to mine. "Have you ever seen me seek her out and show her affection of the kind we have just shared? I'm not interested in Tanya. The kisses she has given me mean nothing because I don't think about them or reciprocate."

"So, you have never touched anyone the way you just touched me?" I asked, skeptical and curious at the same time. I couldn't believe that he had lived for so many years without finding someone he wanted for at least a short period of time.

Edward brushed my hair from my forehead and looked into my eyes. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you."

I felt warmth in my chest that blossomed throughout my whole being. Edward wanted me; he actually said that he wanted me. I would have danced if I thought he wouldn't laugh at me. "I'm sorry that I ran away from you," I said sheepishly.

"Actually, I'm not surprised that you did. I've pushed you a little too far, too quickly and you are ruled by your emotions," he hesitated for a moment, "If I promised to go slowly would you let me try again?"

In answer I pushed myself against him as close as I could get and wrapped my arms around his neck. "You could kiss me again too… if you wanted," I said, my face pressed against his neck.

"It would probably be better if we tried one thing at a time, I'll be less likely to get carried away," he said ruefully as he placed his hands on the small of my back.

"I liked when you got carried away," I admitted, grateful that I could no longer blush and give my embarrassment away.

Even though I couldn't see his face, I somehow knew that he was grinning in response to my comment. "Even so, I don't want to frighten you."

I pushed my face closer into the hollow of his neck as I felt his fingers reach the hem of my blouse. The first moment his fingers touched my skin was electrifying, I shuddered in his arms and tried to keep myself together. It felt nice, but it also brought a strange feeling to the pit of my stomach. Slowly his fingers moved up my back with gentle caresses, making me stifle my moan of surrender into his neck. He splayed his hands wide and moved them across the skin, big patches of warmth following the movement of his hands.

"I don't have to be careful with you, do I?" he asked, though I assumed he was talking more to himself than to me, so I didn't respond. I just pressed a kiss to his neck and smiled in pleasure at the growl I pulled from him.

Edward's hands moved down my back, further and further until he reached the waistband of my jeans. "Forgive me," he said hoarsely and he grabbed my bottom, hitching my legs off the ground and around his waist in one smooth movement. I groaned my approval, still kissing his neck, but squeezing my legs tighter, so I could be pressed against him as much as I was able.

I didn't even realize that Edward had started walking across the room until I felt my back crash into a wall. The impact didn't faze me; all I thought was that now I was positioned between Edward's nice hard body and a wall. It was going to make it much easier to get exactly what I wanted in this position.

He must have been thinking the same thing as I was, because he bent his head down at the same time I lifted mine up. The meeting of our lips was like a match to gasoline. I grabbed at him wildly, pushing my body tight to his. Edward growled again, grinding his body against mine. I smiled against his lips, enjoying the realization that every part of him was hard and solid.

It should have terrified me, but the passion I felt was clouding my mind. I couldn't think of anything that wasn't Edward. I could only feel his body against mine, his lips and tongue tangling with my own. The world had condensed into the small space that confined the two of us and our need for each other.

"The bed," I moaned as Edward took his lips from mine and began tracing his tongue down the side of my neck. His body ground against mine again and suddenly I felt as though I were on fire. I was hot and aching and only Edward could douse the flames, though it seemed like he was intent on fanning them higher first.

Finally my words must have penetrated the sexual haze that surrounded us because he moved from the wall and flew to the bed without moving his hands, lips or body from mine. That was fine with me of course; I would have been content to never leave this room again if it meant I got to enjoy Edward forever.

I was reaching up to begin unbuttoning his shirt when both of us froze. There were footsteps on the stairs, Alice's footsteps. Edward let out a snarl that would have sent me running if I hadn't known that it was meant for Alice who was coming to intrude on our privacy.

"Tell her to go away," I growled at him. Edward nodded fiercely, pressing a quick but scorching kiss to my neck before going to get the door.

"Edward, I know that this isn't a good time, but Tanya and the others are going to be returning from their hunting trip in exactly five minutes," Alice said, her hands raised in front of her in a 'don't shoot the messenger' sort of way.

Edward swore fiercely and then looked back at me. I wasn't sure how I looked, but thoroughly aroused and annoyed was probably not a good way for Tanya to see me when she got back. She hated me enough as it was. Edward looked as though he was torn between joining me back on the bed and to hell with the consequences, and kicking me out so we could both be respectable when everyone got home.

"Okay, we will be downstairs in a minute," Edward said frustrated, shoving a hand through his hair.

Alice shot a wide grin over at me before flouncing back downstairs to Jasper. I should have known that she would be thrilled about us, so she wouldn't have disturbed us unless she thought it was absolutely necessary.

"Edward…" I began, but he didn't let me finish. He was at my side before I could say anything else and he was pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

"Trust me; we will finish this another time. Maybe we can go hunting alone together later this week," he suggested.

"Are you going to tell the family about this?" I asked and then wished that I hadn't. Perhaps there wasn't an us, maybe this was just all about the physical gratification. If it was, I didn't really want to know. It would ruin everything.

"Of course I will, what kind of man do you think I am?" he asked incredulously.

"Are we…" I didn't know exactly how to ask what I was thinking. I wanted to know if he wanted me forever or for just a little while. Was he as desperate for love as I was? Did he know how much I needed confirmation that this wasn't just a fling? How did I get all of that into one simple question?

"Bella?" he asked in confusion. I stared at him for an immeasurable moment before I forced myself to look away. He didn't need me to push all of my insecurities on him. It wasn't fair after only one kiss… no matter how intimate it had been.

"We can talk about this later," I finally said and offered him my hand. If he was really going to tell everyone about us they could handle us holding hands at the very least.

"I don't want you to be upset," he said, a crease between his eyes.

Honestly I couldn't pinpoint why I was so upset, but I knew it was more than likely just my fragile emotional state. I could only really feel one thing at a time and now that my body wasn't plastered against Edward's, I was feeling worried and frightened again. I didn't need to give Tanya any more reasons to hate me, and my extremely new and still tenuous relationship with Edward wasn't going to endear me to her very much.

Edward took my hand and pulled me up off the bed, helping me straighten out my rumpled clothes a bit. "You look beautiful," he whispered in my ear and pressed a kiss to the sensitive spot just behind it.

"Thanks, I guess it's time to face the lions," I muttered.

Edward laughed, "They aren't going to attack you, Carmen and Kate love you," he reminded me.

"Yeah well, I wouldn't be so sure about Tanya. I may have to watch my back for awhile," I said with a sigh and this time he didn't correct me.

As soon as we made it downstairs Alice immediately rushed to my side and threw her arms around my neck. "I just knew this would happen! I saw it months ago when he first changed you," she whispered excitedly.

I smiled at her vaguely, unable to share in her enthusiasm. Could it really have been just two minutes ago that I was wrapped in Edward's arms, his body hard against mine as we moved onto the bed? Now it seemed like it had all been a dream. We were standing so formally next to each other that if we hadn't been holding hands you would assume we were complete strangers. Was Edward really mine?

Jasper walked to my side and put a hand on my shoulder. "Before they get home I think there is something you should know," he said quietly. I let him pull me away from the others a bit so we could talk.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I could feel your confusion and I wanted to let you know that Edward doesn't show his affection lightly. Before you joined us he had never looked twice at any female. Don't drive him away by not believing his feelings for you," he said seriously. I looked over my shoulder to where Edward stood, his eyes on me, warm and affectionate.

"Anything else?" I asked, a little surprised that Jasper would care enough about me to make sure I didn't make a mistake this big.

"Tanya doesn't really care about Edward, she just hates to lose. Be careful around her," he said and with that he walked back to Alice's side.

As I walked back to Edward, I wrapped my arms tightly around him, holding him close to me. "Thank you for letting me in," I whispered to him. He didn't say anything back, but he didn't really need to. He just pressed a kiss to my head and held me close.

"They're here," he and Alice said together and I stiffened looking up toward the window. Well… this was it, the moment of truth. I wasn't sure if my new found relationship would hold up under the stress it was about to face, but Jasper told me to trust, so that was all I could do.

I tried to pull out of Edward's arms but he tightened his grip around my waist, keeping me firmly at his side. I couldn't help but feel safer in his arms; Tanya would have to get through him to get to me. Perhaps that is what he was thinking as well, because he tightened his arms around me as the door flew open.

Tanya stepped into the house, her strawberry blonde hair glinting in the sunlight streaming in through the open door. She froze just inside the doorway, her eyes growing wide and strangely blank as she stared at Edward and me. I wished I could just disappear and leave Edward to explain, but I knew it was cowardly. I just didn't know how to make things right.

"Tanya, why are you blocking the door? We… oh…" Kate had pushed Tanya out of the way and stepped into the living room before she finally saw what had caused Tanya's sudden stop.

Kate was looking from Edward to me and back again, but there was no hint of the blankness I was seeing in Tanya's eyes, or the hatred I had assumed I would see. She looked curious, but happy for us. Obviously she didn't feel that Edward belonged to her sister, which made me like her even more than I did already.

Irina on the other hand seemed to take Tanya's side. Her golden eyes flashed with malice as she walked into the room and saw Edward's arms around me. Her lips pulled back into a snarl as she looked into my eyes. "What a lovely sight to come home to," she said fiercely.

"Irina? What's wrong?" Carmen's voice came from outside. Kate quickly moved into the house to give Carmen and Eleazar room to enter.

There was another moment of silence as the slightly older couple stared at us. I was beginning to feel like my earlier desire to run away wasn't cowardly at all, but the intelligent choice, when Carmen opened up her arms and pulled me into a tight hug. "Ah, felicitaciones, pequiñita!" She pressed a kiss to my forehead and then to Edward's.

"You have made an excellent choice of mate, Edward," Eleazar said, beaming at both of us.

Mate? Was I missing something? Had the family seen or recognized something that I had missed?

In my musings I hadn't even realized that Irina and Tanya had left the house until I heard a loud crashing noise from outside. "What's that?" I asked, startled.

Everyone around me winced, but it was Kate who spoke. "Tanya is throwing trees," she said simply, but I had a feeling there was more to it than that.

"Well, since she and Irina will most likely be occupied for several hours, would you like to take a walk with me?" Edward asked casually.

"Sure, it would be nice to get some fresh air," I responded, hoping I sounded as casual as Edward did. I was dying to get alone with him again, to fist my hands in his hair and press my lips to his. As we walked out of the house I purposefully ignored looking at Jasper, I didn't want to know that he knew what I was feeling at this moment. It was just too private and too new to share.

Edward steered me away from the forest and instead lured me out into the mountainous region behind the house. I was grateful that we wouldn't be walking through the "rejected female" ridden area, that hazard would be the death of me, I was sure of it.


End file.
